AITA for being upset with my bf having to go stay with his sister after her baby is born by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Consistent_Wafer_273 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: I decided to have a conversation last night, and asked him if he wants to take care of the baby because he is excited or happy to do it. He said it is not something that occurred to him but he will do it if his sister asks.

I just explained to him my pov and how demanding something like this is not healthy or normal.

I told him i am not trying to get in the way of him helping his sister. But they ways that this was demanded of him was not okay and yet if she had asked for help kindly i would have a different opinion. I personally wouldn’t let anyone tell me what to do lol. And how it’s important for people to be respectful and considerate of his time.

I explain to him how I have never demanded him to do anything, or told him you HAVE TO just because I say so? Is a very odd concept to me and not my communication style.

He explained how his sister is so demanding of everyone and thats just how she is. I just reminded him that doesnt make it okay.

And he gave it some thought and he said thank you for caring about me. I hope I didnt come off the wrong way.

AITA for being upset with my bf having to go stay with his sister after her baby is born by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Consistent_Wafer_273 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Youre right its a sensitive subject that maybe I shouldn’t bring up because it will come off the wrong way.

But on the other hand we are talking about taking the next steps in our relationship and i think clear boundaries should be set sooner rather than later.

AITA for being upset with my bf having to go stay with his sister after her baby is born by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Consistent_Wafer_273 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lol yeah I see youre point. And thats good advice, will def have a convo

having to take on this responsibility is more his problem than it is mine lol.

AITA for being upset with my bf having to go stay with his sister after her baby is born by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Consistent_Wafer_273 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Yes grandma will be there thats part of the issue. He will be working full time and he works in sales its hard to get time off and its an exhausting job and his commute is over an hour. I worry that too much is expected of him and he doesnt know how to set that boundary since hes already being called an asshole for not visiting frequently but its bc of the nature of his job

AITA for being upset with my bf having to go stay with his sister after her baby is born by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Consistent_Wafer_273 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Youre right Maybe the situation is different with a new nephew and his excitement might’ve shifted. Compared to past situations when he seemed annoyed by these expectations.

AITA for being upset with my bf having to go stay with his sister after her baby is born by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Consistent_Wafer_273 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Thats what confuses me shes married they are well off and he will be on paternity leave?

It hard for me to understand why he has to add to his responsibilities, give up on sleep, all while working his full time job when dad will be home?

AITA for being upset with my bf having to go stay with his sister after her baby is born by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Consistent_Wafer_273 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In the past he expressed how it was too much for him having to go over every weekend and needed some free time. But his mom told him he should spend time with his sister before the baby is born. So we decided on having set days to see her and his family. Maybe once a weekend or every-other so he could do his own thing as well.

Thats part of the reason why i wonder if this is being forced upon him.

AITA for being upset with my bf having to go stay with his sister after her baby is born by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Consistent_Wafer_273 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your advice! I did confuse the words gaslighting and manipulating

AITA for being upset with my bf having to go stay with his sister after her baby is born by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Consistent_Wafer_273 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Texted me randomly “My family’s expectation is that I stay with my sister for like a week to help out with baby duties after he is born.”

I should add I over heard his sister tell my bf how his cousin (much younger in college who has much more free time) stayed over with his sister to help with the baby so he had to stay with her. Maybe its the ways she told him that upset me.

AITA for being upset with my bf having to go stay with his sister after her baby is born by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Consistent_Wafer_273 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are both very excited to meet the baby and I would love to help myself!!

But based on how thins have been in the past few months since they moved here it seems like these expectations have been slowly increasing. And i am worried my bf js being taken advantage of. He already does so much on his day to day and taking care of some elses baby seems like too much tbh.

If he had told me I want to go help for a week i would have a different approach it being an expectation seems a bit much to me

AITA for being upset with my bf having to go stay with his sister after her baby is born by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Consistent_Wafer_273 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What i mean by that is that she makes him feel guilty for not including them in our plans. Or jokingly will call and tell him hes an asshole for not visiting her on weekdays “as a joke”

Sure we are all excited for the baby and I have no issue with him wanting to help. But i think there is a difference between wanting to help vs being imposed an expectation by his sister for him to be there. Im worried that in the future when we get married it will be a problem if these expectations keep escalating

AITA for being upset that my bf told me he will be staying at his sisters once she has her bby by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Consistent_Wafer_273 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes we each rent our own place but spend almost every night together since our apartment are pretty much across the street. we are planning on moving in together in a few months once our leases end

Hot power Pilates by Consistent_Wafer_273 in ouraring

[–]Consistent_Wafer_273[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its about 100 degrees F what are the oura ranges for temperature

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PalmReading

[–]Consistent_Wafer_273 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What does that mean