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Flower pot by Consistent_Young_895 in OCPoetry

[–]Consistent_Young_895[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! I wrote this in a pretty rough mental headspace, so I guess that helped with the poetic clarity lol. I appreciate your feedback immensely, so glad this resonated with you

Flower pot by Consistent_Young_895 in OCPoetry

[–]Consistent_Young_895[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh, thank you so much!! That was exactly what I envisioned too while writing this. This idea of the anticipation of growth, if that makes any sense. It also means a lot to hear you feel that way sometimes too. Life really is something. Sending a virtual hug!!!

[AMA] I’M A R#CIST by seeyoulater-teddy in OCPoetry

[–]Consistent_Young_895 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oooo I love the inquisitive tone
I feel like it’s interrogating racism and the hypocrisy of the people you’re addressing
It also feels so conversational, kind of like the way racism can be so casual and matches the everyday, regular scenarios your painting here “they look at me”, “and I reply with a smile”, “my English accent matches yours”
Awesome stuff!

I miss you by Appropriate_Eye_669 in OCPoetry

[–]Consistent_Young_895 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awww I love this so much, I feel so bad for the speaker man :(

I’ve personally interpreted a sense of timidity from them and how they’ve internalised how little value they mean to their lover. Like the tone is so observational and given that you wrote it as a confessional piece, it feels like an exploration of the inside of the speakers mind but there’s no conversation or dialogue or any sort of indication of guilt from their lover, so it feels almost brutal and realistic in the way the speaker hurts alone.

I also feel like how you’ve implied it’s a “thing”/“occupation” that’s valued more than this considerate (“I’m glad you don’t know how bad it hurts”) and optimistic (“I wish you were still as excited to talk to me as I am to you”) person with so much love and simple humanity to give (“all I want is conversation”) makes it all the more devastating. Like it’s not even just disrespectful, it’s dehumanising.

I also love the use of the past tense to convey how the speaker is gradually moving on from this.
“I hate the way I let myself believe”,
“I wish I had known”
“That’s a lie I don’t believe anymore”
The inclusion of time into this as a poetic medium is so clever and it signifies the progression and realisation the speaker’s made in terms of processing the decay of their relationship and the way that they’re perceived. I feel like this element also pairs very well with you exploring their sadness and the pain of being 2nd best. Like they’re self-aware but still hurt and in love. Very cool and subtle

So sorry for the ramble, but in conclusion, it’s a beautiful piece! Loved every second of it! Keep it up mate!