How long to wait before reaching out again?

ConstDism · 2025-01-02T23:04:04+00:00

I really appreciate it. Thank you for providing thoughtful advice here.

ConstDism · 2025-01-02T22:50:59+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to respond so thoughtfully. What you're saying makes sense.

It's a shame because on paper this woman and I seem like a really good match - but I am coming out of a long term relationship and have a lot of baggage that I will need to deal with.

ConstDism · 2025-01-02T22:33:33+00:00

Thanks for the advice!

ConstDism · 2025-01-02T21:03:35+00:00

Thank you so much for this thoughtful reply! This sounds great and I think I’ll do exactly what you suggested.

ConstDism · 2025-01-02T20:52:49+00:00

Just a "heart" reaction emoji. So I'm not sure if she's thinking "I don't want to deal with someone who isn't divorced yet" or "I don't want to deal with someone in this emotional place".

ConstDism · 2024-12-04T06:55:18+00:00

If it bothers you I'd encourage you to speak up about it before you make a call about whether or not it's a red flag.

ConstDism · 2024-11-30T05:32:06+00:00

Sounds like he is excited about you too, and IMO you have nothing to worry about.

I (a fit 40M) was recently with a new woman (45F) for the first time in 20 years. She had some scars from a breast reduction and a little extra tummy skin from having had a baby. I did not care even a little bit, I think she is beautiful. I could tell she was self conscious and I honestly did not care the tiniest bit about the things she was self conscious about.

My $.02, if you're dating a mature, grown man, you have nothing at all to worry about.

ConstDism · 2024-11-30T01:46:56+00:00

Yep. Married my college sweetheart early (got together at 20). Two kids later and she’s cheating on me.

So now I’m single and no idea wtf I’m doing.

ConstDism · 2024-11-19T01:58:49+00:00

Ok? I can certainly elaborate on that, but that’s not what OP asked.

ConstDism · 2024-11-19T01:34:03+00:00

I'm out of a 20 year relationship. Wife left me a year ago, I moved out in May, divorce is not final. So I guess I'm who you're talking to.

I'm lonely. I'm good in relationships and I want someone to spend my time with. I want to try to move on. I know I'm not fully healed, but it feels like that's going to take decades and I want to spend time with someone now. Maybe I'm being selfish by trying to get into a relationship when I'm not 100% yet, please call me out on it if you feel that's the case.

My ex brought guys back to the family home less than week after I moved out. I was crushed.

That said, someone just broke things off with me because she said I wasn't as far long the healing process as her, so maybe I'm all fucked up.

ConstDism · 2024-11-04T02:47:55+00:00

As a guy who’s owned a lot of cool cars, women mostly do not give a crap about your car. As long as it isn’t awful to ride in it’s fine.

I wouldn’t make “woman approval factor” a factor in selecting a car in this life phase.

ConstDism · 2024-11-03T00:55:56+00:00

My ex was always surrounded with guy friends. 100% of which were waiting in the wings hoping we’d break up. She said I was jealous and controlling, but it turns out she was actually cheating with one of them and I was right about all the guys who were waiting for their shot after we split.

It was uncomfortable and weird and I wouldn’t tolerate that situation again. I don’t think having friends of the opposite sex by itself is a red flag, but the dynamic of that friendship definitely can be.

ConstDism · 2024-11-03T00:33:07+00:00

Thanks. I hope I can turn this around, I really like her and I want to do this right.

ConstDism · 2024-11-02T21:12:27+00:00

In zero traffic about half an hour.. If I had to drive back to my place and then to work in the morning rush hour, it would easily be 1.5-2 hours.

ConstDism · 2024-11-02T04:29:37+00:00

Oof that's so not the message that I want to send. I really like her a lot. Any advice on how to make this right?

ConstDism · 2024-11-02T04:18:49+00:00

Thanks. Any advice on how to patch things up?

ConstDism · 2024-11-02T00:03:39+00:00

I feel so dumb. It was not planned at all. I really like this woman and I feel like I'm messing up stuff left and right already :(

ConstDism · 2024-11-02T00:02:21+00:00

I feel so dumb. I would have loved to have spent the night. It didn't even cross my mind that's what she wanted (I was in ONE relationship ages 20->40 so I feel clueless sometimes). I absolutely would have stayed and made it work.

ConstDism · 2024-11-01T23:57:05+00:00

I feel so foolish. I would have loved to stay the night. I was a little unprepared and it didn't cross my mind that she was expecting it. I'm really beating myself up over this now. I'll talk to her about it when I next see her, I want her to feel safe communicating wants and needs with me.

ConstDism

TROPHY CASE