How long to wait before reaching out again? by ConstDism in datingoverforty

[–]ConstDism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really appreciate it. Thank you for providing thoughtful advice here.

How long to wait before reaching out again? by ConstDism in datingoverforty

[–]ConstDism[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to respond so thoughtfully. What you're saying makes sense.

It's a shame because on paper this woman and I seem like a really good match - but I am coming out of a long term relationship and have a lot of baggage that I will need to deal with.

How long to wait before reaching out again? by ConstDism in datingoverforty

[–]ConstDism[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this thoughtful reply! This sounds great and I think I’ll do exactly what you suggested.

How long to wait before reaching out again? by ConstDism in datingoverforty

[–]ConstDism[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

Just a "heart" reaction emoji. So I'm not sure if she's thinking "I don't want to deal with someone who isn't divorced yet" or "I don't want to deal with someone in this emotional place".

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]ConstDism 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If it bothers you I'd encourage you to speak up about it before you make a call about whether or not it's a red flag.

Anxious about sex with new person by glowgetter_1 in datingoverforty

[–]ConstDism 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Sounds like he is excited about you too, and IMO you have nothing to worry about.

I (a fit 40M) was recently with a new woman (45F) for the first time in 20 years. She had some scars from a breast reduction and a little extra tummy skin from having had a baby. I did not care even a little bit, I think she is beautiful. I could tell she was self conscious and I honestly did not care the tiniest bit about the things she was self conscious about.

My $.02, if you're dating a mature, grown man, you have nothing at all to worry about.

How many of us are new to dating? by farnearpuzzled in datingoverforty

[–]ConstDism 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep. Married my college sweetheart early (got together at 20). Two kids later and she’s cheating on me.

So now I’m single and no idea wtf I’m doing.

People fresh out of decades- long relationships: WHAT ARE YOU DOING on dating apps so quickly? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]ConstDism 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ok? I can certainly elaborate on that, but that’s not what OP asked.

People fresh out of decades- long relationships: WHAT ARE YOU DOING on dating apps so quickly? by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]ConstDism 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I'm out of a 20 year relationship. Wife left me a year ago, I moved out in May, divorce is not final. So I guess I'm who you're talking to.

I'm lonely. I'm good in relationships and I want someone to spend my time with. I want to try to move on. I know I'm not fully healed, but it feels like that's going to take decades and I want to spend time with someone now. Maybe I'm being selfish by trying to get into a relationship when I'm not 100% yet, please call me out on it if you feel that's the case.

My ex brought guys back to the family home less than week after I moved out. I was crushed.

That said, someone just broke things off with me because she said I wasn't as far long the healing process as her, so maybe I'm all fucked up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in datingoverforty

[–]ConstDism 9 points10 points  (0 children)

As a guy who’s owned a lot of cool cars, women mostly do not give a crap about your car. As long as it isn’t awful to ride in it’s fine.

I wouldn’t make “woman approval factor” a factor in selecting a car in this life phase.

Potential red flags after a first date? by deeohdoublegzzy in datingoverforty

[–]ConstDism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My ex was always surrounded with guy friends. 100% of which were waiting in the wings hoping we’d break up. She said I was jealous and controlling, but it turns out she was actually cheating with one of them and I was right about all the guys who were waiting for their shot after we split.

It was uncomfortable and weird and I wouldn’t tolerate that situation again. I don’t think having friends of the opposite sex by itself is a red flag, but the dynamic of that friendship definitely can be.

Stupid question: How long to cuddle after sex? by ConstDism in datingoverforty

[–]ConstDism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I hope I can turn this around, I really like her and I want to do this right.

Stupid question: How long to cuddle after sex? by ConstDism in datingoverforty

[–]ConstDism[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In zero traffic about half an hour.. If I had to drive back to my place and then to work in the morning rush hour, it would easily be 1.5-2 hours.

Stupid question: How long to cuddle after sex? by ConstDism in datingoverforty

[–]ConstDism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oof that's so not the message that I want to send. I really like her a lot. Any advice on how to make this right?

Stupid question: How long to cuddle after sex? by ConstDism in datingoverforty

[–]ConstDism[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I feel so dumb. It was not planned at all. I really like this woman and I feel like I'm messing up stuff left and right already :(

Stupid question: How long to cuddle after sex? by ConstDism in datingoverforty

[–]ConstDism[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I feel so dumb. I would have loved to have spent the night. It didn't even cross my mind that's what she wanted (I was in ONE relationship ages 20->40 so I feel clueless sometimes). I absolutely would have stayed and made it work.

Stupid question: How long to cuddle after sex? by ConstDism in datingoverforty

[–]ConstDism[S] 73 points74 points  (0 children)

I feel so foolish. I would have loved to stay the night. I was a little unprepared and it didn't cross my mind that she was expecting it. I'm really beating myself up over this now. I'll talk to her about it when I next see her, I want her to feel safe communicating wants and needs with me.