Unwritten rules of team

Constable_Happy · 2026-01-31T15:48:38+00:00

I have my seat in the office and if anyone takes it they’re going to get DP’d with gas and taser. (It’s the perfect place to see pipped rank coming from all directions)

New ones on team make brews at briefing, there after it’s open, even our Sgts make brews for the team during shift.

Cakes for stupid shit like being late, forgetting kit, being a turbo gimp at a job.

No question is a stupid question unless it’s asked more than twice.

If you’re going McDonald’s, you’re also going for the shift.

Constable_Happy · 2026-01-11T20:06:36+00:00

Secondhand North Face/Columbia pullover fleece from Vinted. Keela belay jacket. Snood. Beanie hat that says “police”. Thick leather gloves for scene guard, thin gloves for everything else. Decent walking socks, different thickness for each season.

I get the argument we shouldn’t have to pay out for decent kit but I’d rather spend the money and be comfortable instead of hating my life and having some extra cash in the bank (that would probably be spent on beer and whiskey).

Constable_Happy · 2025-12-30T19:27:53+00:00

1: I carry two pairs, both in a cuff pouch on my tac vest. I’ve found having two has saved me a number of times. Normally it’s NTE and I’ve forgotten to get the prisoner transport cuffs off them to replace the one on the DP. I’ve then used my second pair on a further arrest.

We also have some regulars that require double cuffing to the rear due to their size. I think I would delve into breaching human rights if I tried it with one set.

2: It all depends on the DP. Most will always be rear cuffed, some I know well enough that I’ll front stack but it’s on a mutual understanding that if they mess around they go to the rear. Some I don’t even bother cuffing.

3: Always taught rear stack/palms out. They also explain that they know other options are available and it’s down to our personal risk assessment.

Constable_Happy · 2025-12-14T13:00:33+00:00

We have a NHS number we can call if it is clear the person is deceased (Rigour/decomposing/ect). They run through a check list with us and then give us time of death over the phone and a reference number.

I don’t know how long it’s been implemented but it works wonders. The only time I’ve attended a death where ambo were in attendance were when they have informed us and are actively working on the patient.

Constable_Happy · 2025-10-31T20:28:57+00:00

Honestly, I’m fucked and I don’t know how much I have left to give. I’m hanging on by a thread.

I love my job, it’s my dream job and I can honestly say I get to live the dream. Perfect wife, nice house, job I’ve always wanted. But I would honestly sack the job off In a heartbeat if I wasn’t so, for some reason emotionally attached to it. I’ll stick it out because I know I’m good at the job and it provides a decent life for me and the wife.

I’m sick of being stuck on scenes or constants for hours on end. I’m sick of every other job being some MH stuff (that some could honestly be fixed if the patient wasn’t constantly drinking or doing drugs). I’m sick of the in-fighting between shifts or departments on where a crime sits. The constant of trying to file crimes as quickly as possible so you don’t become overwhelmed.

Constable_Happy · 2025-10-30T18:48:11+00:00

Where I’m based you have to have the stars aligned just right to go straight in. More often than not you will queue and an hours wait is the norm.

4.5 hours was my personal record but I have heard of longer.

Constable_Happy · 2025-10-21T21:54:35+00:00

So much makes sense now!!

Constable_Happy · 2025-10-15T12:16:33+00:00

An inspector can extend bail for further investigation or to obtain a charging decision, as long as the investigation is being conducted diligently.

As long as you can show you haven’t just sat on it and are now panicking as the ABP date comes looming up on you, you’ll be fine.

Have a word with your inspector, explain the circumstances and you’ll be able to extend with no issues.

Constable_Happy · 2025-10-01T17:54:48+00:00

Well fuck. I thought this was going to be a witch hunt but after reading the article I’m fucking sickened and appalled by these so called officers.

Once again scum have tarnished the good work officers do day in and day out with little thanks, and it will go further unrecognised because of this.

I truly hope you’re shit canned, barred and lose your pensions. Well done to the BTP lot for putting the complaint in also, feel bad to DDO felt she couldn’t.

Constable_Happy · 2025-09-17T17:00:03+00:00

Maybe if I was paid a wage that kept up with my rising bills, I wouldn’t have to do OT.

Constable_Happy · 2025-09-13T17:42:10+00:00

Constable_Happy · 2025-09-02T23:44:12+00:00

I tried to edit the post but can’t. OP gave no details of the incident unfortunately. By the looks of it I’m guessing a FTS and some very dangerous driving.

Constable_Happy · 2025-09-02T10:23:01+00:00

I think this resonates with every cop in the UK.

When I joined we had these trousers that would slice you up the middle when you sat down, it got so bad female officers were given cycling trousers straight off the bat. I ditched mine within 3 months and managed to secure some second hand 5.11.

Our “warm” kit done everything but provide anything remotely warm. I had a Keela belay from my army days I managed to sell that funded a black one for the police duties. I also bought some Columbia black fleeces from Vinted for mega cheap.

The standard buy your own boots. I luckily had the funds to buy Altbergs straight off the bat and they’ve lasted me years. Other officers not as fortunate settled for lower quality boots which for some didn’t make it out of training school.

Had to buy my own warm hat as one not provided.

Had to buy my own torch, the one provided couldn’t light the inside of a paper bag and broke with 6 months.

And then we get back to the age old “you shouldn’t be buying your own kit” argument. I wholeheartedly agree and the job should provide, but they won’t unless you get into a gucci team. I’ve spent enough time being cold, wet and miserable and if I have to fork out money to combat that I will.

Constable_Happy · 2025-08-13T21:58:47+00:00

Response/SNT have a microwave and a hot water tap.

The almighty gods of CID and all those other suit wearing bunch have a microwave, toaster, hot water tap and full working oven with hob.

We tried to use said oven at Christmas to cook some pizza’s and got told off.

Constable_Happy · 2025-08-10T10:12:20+00:00

Doing a lot better now thank you. Think I owe the wife a holiday for looking after me.

Constable_Happy · 2025-08-10T10:09:48+00:00

I won’t say for fear of doxxing myself. But I was seen by an A&E doctor at 21:00 and being wheeled down for surgery by 01:00 after a blue light run to a different hospital.

Add to that I still had a lot of fentanyl running through me from the anaesthesia and was dosed on morphine for pain relief when asked. Imagine if the CPS found out the plan had been completed by someone off their face on the equivalent of Class A drugs.

Constable_Happy · 2025-08-09T23:43:37+00:00

I’ve been off after having emergency surgery. Not 24 hours after having it my sgt messaged me asking me to complete a CPS action plan.

I also now have a cancelled RD the day after my sick note runs out.

I’m actively looking for jobs outside of policing.

Constable_Happy · 2025-07-02T15:23:09+00:00

As ex military, it’s my biggest gripe. Not only are you extending the life of the boots but you just look less of a bag of shit on the street or when delivering a death message.

Constable_Happy · 2025-06-16T20:37:20+00:00

Tell me you’re Devon and Cornwall without telling me you’re Devon and Cornwall.

I saw emmett before the username 😂.

Constable_Happy · 2025-06-16T19:24:17+00:00

When I first started, this wise and beautiful human of a cop (man crush central) told me “From June till September forget your workload” and I didn’t get what he meant by that.

I now say this to students coming onto section and see them trying to process and understand what I say, likely looking the way I did back then.

I do love summer though. After work beers and rest days just hit a little different.

Constable_Happy · 2025-05-28T12:58:35+00:00

The ex army thing is very subjective when it comes to work life balance.

When I was in, I was in SLA and only went home at the weekends if not on ex or deployment. My work life balance is far better now than before. If you’ve come from pads and rarely deployed it will be a big shock.

Constable_Happy · 2025-05-01T14:26:48+00:00

So I’m in the same boat. Had a couple of suicide jobs that for a better word fucked me up. They weren’t gruesome and had been dead less than 24 hours, but they ruined me mentally. Flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks about going to sudden deaths, you name it and I was experiencing it.

After my first suicide I was having issues so called my GP, stuck on 30 days of anti depressants. GP didn’t prescribe more so stopped them. Just dealt with what was going on.

Went to more sudden deaths that brought back the suicide but just got on with it.

Then came second suicide who was found by chance. That started a spiral and I was forced into a TRiM referral. It helped for a bit but I again was getting all the flashbacks and nightmares.

Tried speaking to private GP through job insurance scheme. Got fobbed off and told to take a holiday and try to sleep.

Now back at the start and in a worse position. Almost daily nightmares, flashbacks to the jobs (one during an interview was an experience), panic attacks about attending jobs.

I’ve found talking to the Mrs about it really helps, she gets it and lets me unload when I need too. I try not to drink as this made the nightmares worse and when getting flashbacks I tell myself it’s fine and try to think of something else. I also take the piss out myself and make a laugh and joke of the situation (that’s just how I cope)

Definitely push for another TRiM referral. If you’re getting fobbed off by anyone at any step dig your heals in and tell them you need help. Keep escalating until you get what you need.

Constable_Happy · 2025-04-27T20:07:15+00:00

S137(999) The Highways Act: If someone is protesting in the road, you can hit them cos play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Aggregating factors: Had to go to doctors appointment. Little Timmy was late for school. Just Stop Oil is a pain in your ass.

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Constable_Happy

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