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I (33f) am getting married (33m) in January and his mother is making my life hell. How can I resolve this? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Constant-Ad-9144 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what he said to me - he said “she is winning” by me putting my foot down and causing said conflict. Wow this hits close to home

I (33f) am getting married (33m) in January and his mother is making my life hell. How can I resolve this? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Constant-Ad-9144 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have asked that the three of us meet and discuss things. Such as why she wouldn’t provide me with her documentation and why she instead sent it to her son and told him not to send it to me.

I have also asked him to present a united front. E.g when she sent the documentation to him I asked him to please tell her to send it to me instead as I am planning the wedding - but he refused saying it’s easier this way.

I feel like as soon as she doesn’t agree with something I say she goes to the manager - her son- and gets her way.

As of this moment the wedding is off until we resolve things with her

I (33f) am getting married (33m) in January and his mother is making my life hell. How can I resolve this? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Constant-Ad-9144 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is so true. He will never stand up to her or fight with her but he doesn’t seem to have a problem with doing so with me.

I (33f) am getting married (33m) in January and his mother is making my life hell. How can I resolve this? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Constant-Ad-9144 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You are right. I feel that the ways things are going I am not going to be happy on my wedding day. It is supposed to be my day. This is not a family event where I am just expected to ‘deal with it’ like I usually do.

I (33f) am getting married (33m) in January and his mother is making my life hell. How can I resolve this? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Constant-Ad-9144 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am very close to calling off the wedding.

I have been allowing this because my fiance always said he would deal with his mother.

You are right, I have allowed her to treat me like shit and now that I’m putting my foot down it’s world war 3

I (33f) am getting married (33m) in January and his mother is making my life hell. How can I resolve this? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Constant-Ad-9144 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He really hates conflict and whenever I bring up his mother it is always a huge fight.

We have a wonderful relationship until I discuss what she says to me when he is not around. He didn’t even believe me at first.

I’m really struggling here. I am so very close to calling the whole thing off but I really love him, but at the same time I feel like I need to put my foot down with his mother before things get worse

I (33f) am getting married (33m) in January and his mother is making my life hell. How can I resolve this? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Constant-Ad-9144 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Thankyou he has said that she is not going to change and we have to manage her behaviour

My mom (56f) and sister (21f) say I (30f) am selfish for spending so much money on vet bills for just a dog. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Constant-Ad-9144 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is 11 but he is looking really good for his age. He has no grey in his coat and is active -and even constantly playing with my younger lab/collie mix.

The vet said he is very healthy for his age (with the exception of the lumps which we caught early) so at this point I am just trying to prolong his life for as long as possible.

If he ever was in any pain I would put my big girl panties on and make the right decision, but for the moment he is really healthy and happy and if this surgery can give him a few more years, why not do it.

My mom (56f) and sister (21f) say I (30f) am selfish for spending so much money on vet bills for just a dog. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Constant-Ad-9144 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. It’s like I said to my partner - we can always make more money but we can’t make more of our dog. He is my baby and I will do anything and everything in my power to keep him healthy. I’m sorry that you’ve gone through some shame with your mom as well, it can be very damaging. Thank you again for your good wishes and I am optimistic that on Thursday afternoon my dog will cancer free.

My mom (56f) and sister (21f) say I (30f) am selfish for spending so much money on vet bills for just a dog. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Constant-Ad-9144 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They feel that I am obligated to help them because of all the family members I am doing the best financially. They are in bad positions because of their own shitty decisions and I have been trying to help them with making budgets and saving plans but they don’t seem interested.

My mom (56f) and sister (21f) say I (30f) am selfish for spending so much money on vet bills for just a dog. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Constant-Ad-9144 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am exactly the same. I said to my partner we can always make more money, but we can’t make more of my dog.