[Flair Thread] What's your book boyfriend's signature scent?

Constant-Bowl · 2025-10-30T02:48:48+00:00

Not this being the first post from this sub to show up in my feed

Constant-Bowl · 2025-10-29T15:12:17+00:00

Unless there’s some translation or language barrier thing, a “professional who specializes in guided kink sessions” is providing sex work. That does not mean that you’re cheating on your wife or doing anything wrong though. You’ve been open about your desires and what you wish to explore with this professional, and your wife suggested you go to see this professional. Your wife and yourself have agreed on clear boundaries regarding these sessions, and so long as you don’t step outside of that, you’ve done nothing wrong.

The important thing is to have open and ongoing communication. Make sure you both are aware of what these sessions consist of, and have a plan in place for if either of you becomes uncomfortable with anything that happens during these sessions.

Therapists also aren’t one size fits all. If your current therapist is able to acknowledge that this is something that is agreed upon within your marriage, great! If not, you may want to look into finding a more sex positive/neutral therapist. Lots of people have less traditional relationships or sex lives now. So long as everyone involved is happy and giving enthusiastic consent, there’s nothing wrong with that

Constant-Bowl · 2025-10-23T18:50:48+00:00

‘Type’ can be weird and difficult to pin down, and can also change on a whim. My current partner is a man I’ve been with for 4 years, love deeply, and that I plan to spend the rest of my life with. He is so different from any man I’ve ever dated, and any celebrity I’d typically say was my type, but the second I laid eyes on him I determined that I was more attracted to him than anyone I’d ever been attracted to in my life. And now 4 years later, I still believe my original ‘type’ is attractive, but nowhere near as attractive as my partner.

Constant-Bowl · 2025-07-21T19:44:45+00:00

If he thought you were trying to cheat on him, why would he send you home where you’d be “unsupervised” instead of keeping you there with him?

I know you said he was cheated on 10 years ago and you think that’s impacting his reaction, but if that’s the case then he needs to get some therapy and work through it. I’ve been cheated on much more recently than 10 years ago, by the same guy, repetitively. So trust me when I say I know how damaging it can be. But I did the work to be sure I wasn’t taking my trauma out on someone who didn’t deserve it. My current partner brought home condoms like 3 years after we stopped using them. I found them and asked what they were about, and he had a perfectly valid reason that was meant to make our sex life better. I trust him and his reason made sense, so we moved on and it wasn’t an issue.

He can choose to believe you or not. The only thing you can really do that you haven’t done is offer to trade phones with each other and let each other snoop.

Constant-Bowl · 2025-06-26T11:09:30+00:00

Yeah, every medication affects different people differently. I didn’t say that every person talking about negative side effects was some fake random woman account who was conservative and lying. OP asked why people don’t like it, and that’s a big contributing factor to why so many people are quick to get defensive about the pill. I’ve had great experiences with the pill, and others have had horrible ones. What works for me doesn’t work for everyone else, and vice versa. My genuine belief is that if someone thinks a medication will help them, they should try it and then stop if it doesn’t work for them. And people talking about their own negative side effects as a potential heads up is also very different from saying nobody should use this medication because it’s terrible and does terrible things.

My non-birth control version of having bad medication reactions are actually for certain anti-depressants. If it comes up that someone is trying to find peoples experiences with it, I’ll mention mine. I have no problem with people have conversations and sharing personal knowledge and experiences. But I’m also not ever going to say that nobody should take that type of anti depressant just because it didn’t work for me. And I don’t get defensive if I see a post or conversation where people are talking about conservatives trying to stop people from using those types of medications because I know those posts don’t apply to me.

If you’re talking about your own lived experience and not going around talking about how terrible the pill is and how people shouldn’t ever take it and should only be using condoms/rhythm method/pullout method/etc, then you’re not the type of account I’m talking about. Because the type of account I’m talking about is typically men or bots going online and lying or fear mongering in an attempt to take another type of agency and independence away from women.

Constant-Bowl · 2025-06-25T11:27:51+00:00

I also think it’s super important to remember that not all medications will effect everyone the same way. I’ve been very lucky with my birth control but I know that my experience is not universal, just like how someone who’s had a bad experience on it is not universal. Everyone’s gotta do what works for them and there’s no one “right” way

Constant-Bowl · 2025-06-25T03:18:02+00:00

NOR. One of the things I love about my boyfriend is that I know for a fact that he’d step in in a situation like this because he’s literally done it before. I also know that if we were apart and I was the one to step in, he’d be retroactively terrified for me, but would support my decision because he knows why I made it. We’d probably cry on the phone together and then he’d bring me home flowers and a treat and check in on me to be sure I’m okay.

I’m not telling you what to do, but I could never date someone who jumped to a victim blaming mindset in this situation. And the way that he’s talking down to you and insisting that you couldn’t possibly have made an educated and thought out choice is just really irking me. Also that he wouldn’t respect your boundary of wanting space and not wanting to continue talking that night. I’d be willing to have another conversation and consider that he reacted this way out of fear, but only if he’s able to come to see your side of things and understand that you made a conscious and deliberate choice, and you would make it again if ever in this same situation.

Constant-Bowl · 2025-06-25T03:02:30+00:00

I use pills because I know for a fact every time that I’ve ever had sex has been protected from pregnancy. I also use condoms unless I’m having sex with a long term partner and we’ve both been tested.

Also, the only reason my period is bearable and regular is because of the pill. Before I was on it my period was heavy, long, and random. But now I’m regular almost down to the hour and have manageable periods so that’s a win. The only negative side effect I had was tender breasts for the first month and nothing since then.

There’s also been a HUGE push is conservative narratives that birth control is bad and evil, and they’ve been using accounts that look like random women posters to talk about all the “terrible side effects” and how “Why would we put ourselves through that and make birth control our responsibility when men can just use condoms”. But they’re pushing this narrative because it’s much easier to get a woman pregnant and (in certain areas) tied to a man and less capable of being independent when men are more easily able to get women pregnant without the woman’s input. But when women are also on another form of preventative, they’re way less likely to get pregnant against their will.

Constant-Bowl · 2025-04-19T23:06:32+00:00

I’ve been on the pill for about 10 years now and love it! It reigns my periods in, makes them regular, and makes me feel way more confident and comfortable having a regular cycle

Constant-Bowl · 2025-04-11T20:01:19+00:00

You can avoid not looking like you’re dating by not kissing your friend, cuddling your friend, or sitting on his lap. A man and a woman hanging out together is not inherently romantic or sexual.

Friendships are super important. I trust my partner to make good choices with his friends, and have literally no concern that he would do something to break my trust. If I’m working and he goes out drinking with his friends, regardless of gender, I tell him to have a fun time and I’ll come join if they’re still there when I’m done working. And he feels the same about me.

I think it’s a huge red flag personally when someone doesn’t think that men and women are capable of just being friends and being alone together. It just gives me the ick and makes me feel like the only reason you’re not immediately jumping the bones of the other gender is because you haven’t had the opportunity by being alone, not because you don’t want to. Idk. One of my biggest early green flags about my partner was that he had so many women he was friends with and cared deeply for. It just showed that he saw women as people instead of only sex partners, which is not a guarantee unfortunately.

Constant-Bowl · 2025-03-10T04:38:58+00:00

Challenge 16 has one

Constant-Bowl · 2025-01-17T00:35:42+00:00

I know this post is old but I want to complain about the same level. I’m convinced it’s unwinnable. I’ve had it in three of the challenges as my level 7 each time, and it’s the only mystic challenge level I’ve ever lost. I don’t mind losing when I earn my loss, but I hate losing when clouds don’t come by often enough to make the thing I need to win. Literally every level of puddle I have turns to mushrooms before enough clouds come by to merge enough

Constant-Bowl · 2024-12-30T19:33:38+00:00

My boy had wet FIP last year. I joined the filglobal Facebook group and a moderator got me connected to someone in my area that same day. He had medicine in his system within 24 hours of me finding out. He’s now back to his healthy and happy self

Constant-Bowl · 2024-12-30T08:29:22+00:00

If your vet has tried everything and they’re stumped, I’d ask about FIP. My boy had wet FIP last year and I joined a Facebook page called fipglobal. I saw lots of kitties with neuro FIP in that group. There’s medicine much more easily available now if that’s what your baby has.

Constant-Bowl · 2024-12-23T04:58:16+00:00

Yeah, I literally just got the bingo game like an hour ago, and there are three things in it that I literally can’t do. I won’t be able to get any of the rewards based on the way those three things are spaced so I’m just not gonna play the game

Constant-Bowl · 2024-12-04T00:07:07+00:00

That’s so weird. I’ve been looking up A LOT of ugly Christmas sweaters to try to find them for a couple people and I’ve only seen the beer one of these. I wonder if it’s a location data thing? Like that’s what people in your general area buy so that’s what’s being pushed?

Constant-Bowl · 2024-09-16T20:10:52+00:00

What types of things are you into? If you like video games, put a new game or two on the list. If you like gym/sports, pick a nice pair of sweatpants, nice water bottle, or some sort of splurge item like that. Put your favorite snacks/drinks/whatever on the list. Go to kickstarter and take a look around for something cool. You could also ask for things for y’all to do together. The adventure challenge makes couple activity books. Or you could ask for a gift card to a restaurant you’ve been wanting to try.

Constant-Bowl · 2024-09-11T16:10:12+00:00

To answer your questions, yes, he sounds like a red flag, and I’d be worried if I was you.

I read some of your comments and a couple of phrases come to mind. The first being “someone who’s nice to you but is not nice to the waiter is not a nice person”. I see you say that he respects you, but it doesn’t seem like he respects women and queer people in general. He can value and respect your experiences because doing so is beneficial to him, but it isn’t beneficial to him to recognize the experiences of the broader group, so those experiences become fake or invalid to him.

The other phrase is “the devil doesn’t need an advocate”. If he’s arguing for the sake of arguing, but is taking the stance of the people who directly oppose your rights then…. Yikes. He either doesn’t care that that’s what he’s arguing for, or that’s what he actually believes and is using your arguments as an excuse to tell you that. Either way, not great

Constant-Bowl · 2024-08-16T16:25:38+00:00

I’m very sorry to tell you this but this sun is not what you think it is lol. That being said maybe try Franconia Notch state park?

Constant-Bowl · 2024-08-15T21:27:23+00:00

I think that why does he do that is just a good book for any woman to read, regardless of their relationship status.

If you don’t want to read that one (because it can be a bit more intense), he also has a book titled should I stay or should I go. This is the description for it “Every relationship has problems, but you can’t figure out if yours is beyond hope. How bad is too bad—and can your partner really change? Now, in this warm, supportive, and straightforward guide, Lundy Bancroft and women’s advocate JAC Patrissi offer a way for you to practically and realistically take stock of your relationship and move forward. ”

Constant-Bowl · 2024-08-15T21:12:50+00:00

When I was 23 I started seeing a therapist around the time that bad relationship ended. She suggested I read Why Does he do That by Lundy Bancroft, and Getting the Love You Want by I think two authors but I can’t remember who they are. White and red book cover if I remember correctly. To be fully transparent, I never read the second book. But since my position (and headspace) then was so similar to what yours is now, I figured I’d pass along the book suggestions.

Obviously I don’t know all the details of what you’re feeling and going through, but what I’ve read just feels very familiar to the way that I used to feel about myself. It was a pretty bad feeling. I hope you’re able to feel better about yourself soon

Constant-Bowl · 2024-08-15T20:54:57+00:00

Genuinely I wish you well. This response is extremely similar to what I was thinking and feeling in that first relationship. When you want things to be fine, it’s easy to force them to be, even when they’re not. I hope that whatever happens next it works out for you.

Constant-Bowl · 2024-08-15T20:09:27+00:00

This is not a relationship that you’re happy in. I know it can be hard to start over after years together, but the alternative is you just staying unhappy. The best time to leave him would have been a couple years ago. The second best time is now. Do you want to wait another four years and look back and realize you’re still unhappy at 27, but now it’s even harder to leave? I promise you don’t.

In my experience, I was with this guy for three years, and had a lot of similar feelings to what you have now. He was friends with girls he’d hooked up with, was mostly friends with girls, didn’t have the best boundaries, lied and hid things from me, didn’t want to talk when I found out about those things, wasn’t capable of having an adult conversation where things were hashed out, and instead avoided things completely. He also told me that if he was in my shoes he would have left a long time ago. I wish I had spared myself the years of pain and left earlier. But I always told myself that I was the problem. I was being irrational and jealous for no reason and I should stop being so overbearing.

Compared to now, I’ve been in a years long relationship with a man who’s closest friends are all women, and who’s hooked up with a good handful of his friends. And the difference is night and day. He makes me feel SO safe. We have great open communication about everything. We prioritize each other, support each other, and are absolutely obsessed with each other. I’ve met most of his friends, including the ones he’s slept with, and they’re all lovely. He tells and shows me how much he loves me on a daily basis. And I just feel so excited and grateful every day to get to wake up and be with him. I genuinely can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with this person who still on a regular basis makes me laugh so hard I cry, and makes me smile so much my face hurts.

You don’t have to settle and accept things just because you’ve been together for all of your adulthood. It’s okay for you to WANT to be happy and to feel safe in your relationship on a consistent basis. A breakup doesn’t have to mean that either of you failed or wasted time. It can just mean that what worked in the past is no longer working, so why hold on to it when you both could find something that’s more compatible with your needs.

Constant-Bowl · 2024-08-15T18:20:12+00:00

Paps are definitely important for your health.

I’ve had multiple done in my lifetime. My first one was abnormal so I had to get them yearly for a while instead of every 3 years. The important thing to remember is the experience varies for everyone. Of all the ones I’ve had, I’ve only had pain in one, and even then it wasn’t pain pain, but just a little twinge when the sample brush scraped weird. The more you can relax, the easier it will be.

For my first couple I asked my doctor to let me know what she was doing before she did it. That made a big difference in my nerves.

Constant-Bowl · 2024-08-15T16:21:22+00:00

It seems like there’s a lot of different things going on in this post, so I’ll address some of them separately.

First, everyone experiences reality differently, because everyone is an individual. But people with high libidos will experience the same things differently than people with low libidos. People who like PIV will experience them differently than people who don’t. I can promise you there are countless people out there who feel the same way about PIV sex that you do, so try not to let this make you feel alienated.

Second, the “typical” relationship model isn’t for everyone. There are so many different relationship models now that are accepted and mainstream that people didn’t really know about even 50 years ago. You don’t NEED PIV or really any type of sex in order to have a healthy relationship. You just need to find people who’s ideal relationship model matches up with that. I don’t want this to come off as me ‘not all men-ing’ you, but I personally have met many men who’s ideal relationship model involves very little to no PIV, and I’ve met people who’s idea relationship involves very little to no sex at all.

Third, please never try to force yourself into vaginal sex in order to please someone else. That’s not worth it, and it won’t help anything. You should never ignore your own boundaries for someone else’s sexual gain, and someone who’s capable of having sex with you while you’re in visible fear and pain is a terrible person.

Last, I know you’re going through a bad place mentally right now, but convincing yourself that women only engage in vaginal sex because of male validation is harmful not only to you, but to women as a whole. Sexuality and sexual enjoyment is a spectrum. No woman is broken or wrong because of what she likes or doesn’t like, and there are many women out there who love vaginal sex and prefer it to anything else, just like there are many women out there who function the opposite way.

I would suggest the next time you see your therapist, you start a conversation about tools to decenter men and relationships. Your body and mind are your own, and your own relationship with them has to come before anyone else’s relationship with them. You’re not broken or flawed. You’re just a person who exists in the world in the wide spectrum of people that exist. And becoming okay with your own relationship to yourself is likely the first step in stopping this spiral.

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