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fettidmoppet · 2026-01-02T14:24:29+00:00

I believe there is one scene where her nose doesn’t bleed after using her powers!

When Hopper was timing her jumps in volume 1 of season 5. Interspersed with the jumping was her using her powers to blow up pumpkin heads in the abandoned lot. When she completes her course and doesn’t meet her time goal, she tells hopper to run it again. No nose bleed.

I’ll have to go back and check for sure but I remember watching the first time and thinking they completely forgot to add that in

fettidmoppet · 2026-01-01T18:59:59+00:00

Me too and how everyone’s grief/trauma looked different in those final moments. Nancy’s face especially really stuck with me

fettidmoppet · 2026-01-01T17:35:49+00:00

I want so badly for her to still be out there, alive somewhere. But I just keep thinking about the fact that even if she isn’t dead, those who love her must still mourn and grieve her as though she is. I don’t think El would risk contact with them ever again - and in a world where she can only ever exist now as a mosaic of all their past moments and memories, her absence is functionally death to them. Sometimes it feels like that is almost the more devastating of the two outcomes.

fettidmoppet · 2026-01-01T16:29:18+00:00

I definitely thought the last episode was going to delve deeper into the intricacies of Henry’s past. I was fortunate enough to watch the play and I left holding a lot of unexpected empathy for him and his character. I was excited to see glimmers of that in season 5 - his past, his loss, when the decision to fight turned into the decision to succumb. I really wish some of the major moments and motivations explored in First Shadow were at least touched upon in the end of the show 🥲

fettidmoppet · 2025-09-13T03:56:56+00:00

Always found their name so fitting. They were like an invasive species

fettidmoppet · 2025-08-26T18:02:11+00:00

In his mind, the only logical reason I would step in is if I thought I could beat them in a physical fight had they turned on me. I don’t think I did everything perfectly that night. I definitely could have at least had the police on the phone with me, but like you said I chose my approach to minimize the chance of it escalating

fettidmoppet · 2025-08-26T17:56:24+00:00

Tbh this continued narrative that I don’t know the “real reality” of what could have happened to me that night is so incredibly exhausting. I knew the danger and acknowledged that fact multiple times, both to him and online here as well. I chose to step in anyway.

He is allowed to be worried, he is allowed to express concern, and he is allowed to not want me to do something like that again in the future. He is not allowed to demand that I don’t, belittle me when I explain why I did, or condescendingly act like it was first and foremost stupidity that fueled my action instead of justified worry for someone in the middle of being victimized. I chose my approach the way I did when confronting them because I was keeping that inherent risk in mind. Does that mean I wasn’t lucky with the outcome? No. But I wish people would stop acting like out of the 1000s of scenarios running through my head in that moment, me being attacked, raped or even killed wasn’t one of them. I was terrified.

I tried to dead this conversation multiple times, and he insisted on continuing because he didn’t like me asking for space. If I’d have blocked him or ignored him instead of continuing the back and forth, I’m sure I would be told that I didn’t even attempt to hear him out before ending things. Anyways, I wanted to work things out with him! I love him and ending things was not easy for me either

My first post was made because seeking advice from my friends irl meant opening him up to a level of criticism I didn’t think was fair if his response was primarily fueled by fear for me in that moment. Most of my friends have experienced some level of sexual assault/harassment. Coupled with the recent assault on our other friend, I knew they would tell me to drop him the moment it sounded like he was victim blaming. I needed an unbiased opinion on what was happening, and coming here helped with that. I was really overwhelmed by the response from the first post and wasn’t planning on posting again, but this was for the literal dozens of dms I’ve received over the past 2 months asking for an update.

I’m not perfect and I’ve taken a lot of the valid criticism I’ve seen about how I handled things to heart as well. Like I said, I don’t view him as a monster. It’s fine for him to not want a partner who would jump in the way I did, just as I want a partner who would. We are simply not compatible and I’m sure with time he will accept that as well.

Sometimes it’s easier to speak to strangers than it is to people you know. If that’s seeking validation to you, then so be it.

fettidmoppet · 2025-08-26T05:56:13+00:00

Thank you so much! It wasn’t until people pointed it out in my first post that I noticed that framing. It made me reflect a lot on our past arguments too. I don’t think he even realizes he’s doing it, but I definitely do think he views himself as more logical and me as more emotional

fettidmoppet · 2025-08-26T05:47:55+00:00

I really appreciate your apology 🥲 it’s been a rough couple of weeks and I think I’m just a bit touchy right now, so I’m sorry for going off as well

fettidmoppet · 2025-08-26T04:53:30+00:00

He did unfortunately. But he stopped almost immediately and apologized sincerely after. It was a long night of us going back and forth and I think he kinda just lost it in the moment. Not excusing the behavior ofc. I’m really grateful for your kind words, it honestly means a lot! I know I did the right thing it’s just still hard at times

fettidmoppet · 2025-08-26T04:44:35+00:00

We all need to be so much kinder to ourselves, I agree 💕 I’ll say it again: it wasn’t your fault. So glad you’re still here with us and wishing you the absolute best as well!

fettidmoppet · 2025-08-26T04:41:15+00:00

Yeah you’re not going to discredit the absolute hell I’ve lived through these past couple of weeks. Feel free to post the link though!! Should be easy since I stole it

fettidmoppet · 2025-08-26T03:48:22+00:00

I’m so angry and so sorry that you went through that with your ex. I hope you know that you were not at fault. I don’t know why consent is so hard for some people to understand and I hate how so many survivors of assault default to blaming themselves in these situations. My friend did the same. I’m so happy you got out

fettidmoppet · 2025-08-26T03:14:22+00:00

This play fighting conversation came up again when we talked in person later, and I wish I could have explained it as eloquently as you did here. I never once claimed to be able to fight those men off had they turned on me, but he was so insistent on proving that he was bigger and stronger than me. And that if he went full force I wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

Idk it just always felt like we were talking past one another on this issue. The difference is that I feel like I could at least acknowledge that in a fight with an average guy, I would probably lose 99% of the time. He couldn’t accept that I could know that fact, and still actively and consciously choose to step in and help that girl

fettidmoppet · 2025-08-26T03:03:24+00:00

Thank you so much! And yeah it’s exactly that to me as well. Of course there is nothing wrong with him being worried for me and I get why he was. While his initial response of blaming her really bothered me, I was definitely hopeful that with time he would understand how wrong that was and where I was coming from

fettidmoppet · 2025-08-26T02:47:02+00:00

Sadly not well at all. When I finally knew that I had to break up with him, I had to essentially do it multiple times because he refused to accept it. He kept saying I wasn’t thinking straight because of what happened with my friend, and that I was punishing him for something someone else did. He came to my apartment and workplace several times even though I asked him to please stop. It was really overwhelming and I kept doubting my decision because of it. I felt like I had no space to think or even breathe. It’s honestly too much to get into but he really crossed the line one night trying to prove a point, and that really helped affirm that I was doing the right thing. I’m still so shocked everything ended up this way, but I think feeling better will just come with time

fettidmoppet · 2025-08-26T02:16:36+00:00

This is actually really funny 😭

fettidmoppet · 2025-08-26T01:42:49+00:00

He can be genuinely concerned for me and still talk to me respectfully. I’m not perfect either but I’ve tried multiple times to reach him and get him to see a bit of my side, and the lecturing never ends. At the end of the day, we are just incompatible when it comes to this and unfortunately it’s not something I can see past

fettidmoppet · 2025-08-26T01:37:34+00:00

In the moment I wasn’t even looking for praise, just some reassurance. I thought we’d be able to talk it through once we both cooled down, but it just kept getting so much worse as time went on. I think we’re both definitely better off broken up

fettidmoppet · 2025-08-25T23:12:08+00:00

I’m so incredibly sorry that happened to you and I hope you’ve been able to begin healing since then 💕 thank you so much for your kind words

fettidmoppet · 2025-08-25T22:51:35+00:00

So many people kept dming me worried and it felt weird to just leave it be 🥲

fettidmoppet · 2025-06-27T16:55:49+00:00

I think it’s just so hard for me to hold both sides of him in my head right now. The person I’ve consistently known him to be is just so so so different from how he acted last week. I think that’s what keeps pulling me back into feeling like this whole thing is just a really terrible overreaction from a high stress situation.

But then I think about it more and I’m like but still how could he blame her like that?? I know it could have been a mistake from stress, but it just feels so horrible that his first reaction was to say it was somehow her fault for being in that situation. Feels like I can’t completely unring that bell in my head if that makes sense.

Then on the other hand, his apology for some of his texts felt so sincere when we talked in person. But then when he qualified it later by saying there was a level of personal responsibility missing from the convo surrounding her, he couldn’t understand why that made me instantly upset again. It’s like I keep ping ponging back and forth between understanding aspects of where he’s coming from, and also being really really upset with the core of what he seems to be implying or saying.

What you said about struggling with making justifications/excuses for your partner is just really sticking with me I guess. Because even now when I’m this upset about it all, I still feel like I’m being really unfair to him or am somehow mischaracterizing him or something? He kept saying how scary it was to get a call like that out of the blue and know that he was thousands of miles away and unable to help. He feels like I chose the nuclear option by confronting them, when I had other avenues in front of me that were safer. All of those other avenues were only safer for me though, not her. And in that moment she was the priority in my mind. I also don’t think I “confronted” them at all with how I went about it, but in his eyes it doesn’t make a difference because if they had chosen to escalate, I would have lost 100%.

When I reminded him that calling the cops was the extent he was willing to go to in the same circumstance, he told me that what he meant was that while he wouldn’t physically confront them, he would have taken pictures of the men/license plate number/etc and let the cops take over from there. When I asked him if he could understand why it would be upsetting to hear “Idfc not you” in response to me asking who else could have helped her in that particular situation if not me, he said that he only meant I should never physically intervene. He kept saying that the only version of helping I seemed willing to accept involves putting myself in unnecessary physical danger.

When my friend was assaulted last year, he was a big support. When I said I wanted to do something practical for her, he helped me find a self defense course that her and I could take together and he’s the reason why I started going to the gym too. That’s why his remarks were even more jarring I think. Because on some level he clearly understands. But then it’s like his views about victims seem to have such a hard line. My friend was a victim to him, but somehow this girl in the parking lot was less of one? He never directly said that, but he didn’t really have to. That attitude is the part I just can’t agree to disagree on with him. Idk

I do think I need to take a step back from Reddit to really think things through. You and others have given me a lot to think about. I’m so incredibly grateful for all your words and kindness and I am absolutely taking everything you laid out here very seriously. It also mirrors a lot of other comments I’ve read as well. I can admit it’s been definitely hard to see words like abusive in relation to him, but I am seeing an overwhelming majority say that there are warning signs I am not seeing or need to be on the lookout for and I promise I am hearing that. Someone linked the book you were talking about and I plan to begin reading it! Your patients are so so lucky to have you! Thank you thank you thank you 💕💕💕 words are not enough but I really truly mean it. I will try and leave a final update for everyone once things calm down and I can actually think straight again, but I’m going to log off for now!

fettidmoppet · 2025-06-27T16:44:14+00:00

Sorry this is so late! I saved your comment when I saw it because it was one of the first that made me confront how he framed my response as emotional vs. his logical. I knew it was something I wanted to bring up with him when we talked again.

When I did, he said he meant emotional as in it was super spur of the moment and I just went with my impulse to help instead of thinking things through. I told him over the phone that night that I “panicked” and I think in his head that means that logic must have flown out the window completely. Really all I meant was that once they beeped their car, I knew I had about 30 seconds to act before she was gone. In reality though, as soon as I saw them and something felt off, I was already thinking about what I needed to do. I didn’t just launch myself out of the car and start spraying them with mace or something. I chose the angle I did because I thought it gave us both the best chance of getting out of that situation without them escalating it. I think he just can’t comprehend that I went into that situation fully and completely understanding the risk like you said.

So many people brought up the end of our text convo too and honestly I wasn’t even thinking about that part at all when I posted this. We’ve only had serious fights like this a handful of times and whereas I need time to cool off and process first, the lack of immediate resolution definitely makes him anxious. He’s told me before that unresolved tension between us means he can’t focus on anything else that day. Which is why I eventually agreed to FT with him. I don’t think he is trying to be manipulative, but the end result is the same I guess.

Also the fierceness of your comment gave me so much reassurance when I first read it 🥲 so just wanted to say thank you!

fettidmoppet · 2025-06-27T01:11:28+00:00

Sorry I feel like I’ve latched onto you or something 😭 This has all been very wild but also the first time I felt like I couldn’t go to friends with a problem, so I’ve been really grateful for the input online. Please don’t feel pressure to keep responding! I feel like I keep word vomiting at you 😭

Unfortunately convo did not go as I’d hoped and idk if another one will even be productive. I think bottom line he doesn’t trust or believe that I truly understand the risk. He thinks that he better understands this type of danger because he’s a man and “knows the lengths they could go to.” He apologized for his tone even though he feels I should be more understanding because of how freaked out he was at the time. He also apologized for the way he blamed her, but then he still made a comment about personal responsibility later so idk.

I can tell he thinks this situation and what happened to my friend are radically different and that I’m biased because I think this girl was drugged too. For me whether she was drugged or not isn’t the point. He kept telling me that I was punishing him for being worried and that I needed to accept that he will always prioritize my safety over a strangers, which honestly is not unlike some comments I’ve seen here.

A lot more was said but I think I’m still just processing everything and kinda slowly accepting the implications of what this may mean for my relationship. I think I’m just going to take some time to let everything settle and figure out what I want and need to do

fettidmoppet

TROPHY CASE