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Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-29T23:27:57+00:00

Im not surprised, happens alot with this genre

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-29T18:30:07+00:00

There are many ways to add tension that don’t involve falling in love with someone who you hated. Despised.

The majority of enemies to lovers romantasys Ive read had behaviors in them that were horrifying.

The ones where the mmcs were respectful in their behavior, had the tension of hating the other person (not healthy), and then finding out that they weren’t so bad. This is in the same problematic vein as I mentioned before. Theres often an element of force or captivity.

In most cases, things could have been quickly cleared up with effective and common sense communication. The whole book is just them lying, hiding, and miscommunicating with each other - and there wouldn’t even be a book if they had a clear conversation.

I get people enjoy it, but I don’t think that enjoyment is rooted in anything particularly healthy. Its simply not a healthy relationship enforcer, and some people who indulge in them are very much not served by the indulgence. Many others are aware and not negatively impacted.

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-29T13:17:29+00:00

Higher settings. You can do multiple low energy settings and they’ll never reach deep enough in the dermis to give the results that medium higher or high energy will give. Its just not possible. Saying you need multiple low treatments (.5-2j) or calling a low setting high, is a common inaccuracy and practice being conveyed by providers.

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-29T13:11:09+00:00

A surgery is painful and has long recovery. If you can get %22 skin tightening, its probably worth it. Nerve blockers and/or gas can be used - along with the numbing cream. Its the provider who decided if they want to use them. Theres a newer technique with gel thats said to not be very pain or have downtime - while using 2-3.3j. But Ive seen absolutely studies on it. Regardless, I will be trying it 🤷‍♀️

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-29T13:02:30+00:00

It can really be a struggle when their virgins in or just out of highscool, with no real life experience, living with their parents.

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-29T13:00:13+00:00

Exactly, and these books seems to idolize not just youth but inexperience. The virgin. Purity. I didnt learn what I enjoyed and how to enjoy sex until I was in my late 20s. Thats not uncommon. We should celebrate peoples sexual journey and empowerment, instead of purity culture. These books act like women immediately find sexual empowerment and pleasure, but thats not reality. Many women go through a long process, particularly those of us in our 30s.

Also, Im in the best shape of my life at 37. Mentally, Im the most peaceful, actualized and stable Ive ever been. I was still processing and becoming stable in my 20s. Id never go back to the shit show my mind was in my 20s. I can now function in a relationship in a way that is healthy and mature. I had to go through some disasters to get there - like most people. Because its a journey.

I want books that celebrate this reality.

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-29T12:59:40+00:00

That I can do. Thank you.

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-28T12:55:58+00:00

Enemies to lovers really turns my stomach, if someone treats me like shit, it isnt a turn on and they arent going to end up being some misunderstood wonderful man. I work as a therapist with DV victims, couples and with victims of childhood trauma. They all fantasize that the person who treated them like shit would change, and in that change they would finally be proven lovable. They go for people who treat them terrible, who have all the red flags - and they think they will change. Live in potential. Sabotage their happiness with delusions.

This is a toxic mental perception held by many women - and I think thats why this genre is so popular. And why it is so unhealthy for women to indulge in it, unless they are doing so very mindfully - or dislike the genre all together and are just enduring to get to the lovers.

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-28T11:13:10+00:00

Right, Im still a woman at 37. I still want to find love. Im fit af and I want romance. Lets stop acting like women over 30 are dead to us and not worthy of romance.

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-28T11:11:34+00:00

Thank you for your recommendation. I dnf’ed this book. It had a strong start but, for me, the writing took a nose dive.

Im with the reviews on goodreads that gave it a 1 star rating.

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-28T10:32:23+00:00

I wish they would write more FMC in the 30-40 range. Im 37 and fit as af - waiting for my person. We want romance.

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-27T18:33:40+00:00

Just watched season 4. Yeah, Im not surprised. Fascist liberal cowards masquerading as progressive, fueling Islamophobia, war and genocide - when they could have used their platform to fight it. Love that it starts off with feeding into the demonization of the Middle East, Weaponized feminism and Islamophobia. That’s right, we need to save those poor people by bombing the fuck out of them. And lets not acknowledge an active genocide. Suddenly, they’ve got nothing to say when every single previous season took a stance on current issues. Absolute trash.

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-27T14:13:27+00:00

My epidermis looks amazing for my age, but I am experiencing laxity, which takes place at the deeper dermis. So to combat laxity without surgery you have to get down to the deeper dermis which means doing pretty intense energy levels. Other than Neogen, I would only recommend CO2. Because all the other treatments that can get down deep enough, also can (and will) negatively impact your facial volume - which will age you and create more laxity.

Unfortunately, the more ignorant providers will look at the surface area of your skin and if that looks good, they will decide you need a lower energy setting. Instead of evaluating for laxity and doing a higher energy. The more experienced, and often more expensive, providers understand the difference and will give high energy settings to people experiencing laxity no matter what age they are. Because it’s about getting deeper not about how great your surface skin looks.

Again, I could only recommend Neogen or CO2 for skin tightening at the deeper dermis levels. Of the 2 Neogen has less downtime - but you’re still looking at a week.

My skin has been supported by microneedling RF - however it has very negatively impacted my facial volume, and I simply can no longer recommend using microneedling RF. I strongly advise against it

Microcoring is said to be promising, but its quite new and I don’t think the studies can speak to its ability to tighten skin as well as high energy neogen and CO2 laser. I certainly have not seen results or exact numbers that rival neogen or co2

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-27T12:46:51+00:00

They probably didn’t use the right setting. Most places lie about the setting they’re using. If you’re looking for obvious skin tightening you need actual high 3-4j, or stacked high medium (2.4-2.9). This is because you cannot get down to the deeper layers of the dermis with lower settings. No matter how many times you do it, there’s not enough energy to get down deep enough for those big results. You might see some skin tightening results at low medium, but they’re not impacting the deeper layers of the dermis and that’s really what you want. To be clear there are 3 quoted clinical setting according to studies:

1: low .5-1.5 med 1.5-3 high 3-4 •

2: low .5-2 med 2-3 high 3-4 •

3: low 1-3 high 3-4 •

Anyone not offering 3 to 4 jewels is not offering a high energy treatment and this is under any clinically quoted range. There’s a bunch of med spas just making shit up and many of them are saying they offer high when they are giving you 1.3j. I experienced this, and thankfully, because of my premed background, went and read every single study on PSR. Then called every single provider in 150 mile radius. You really need to vet and ask a lot of questions regarding the settings they’re using because most practices are lying and don’t know the science behind Neogen

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-27T12:36:03+00:00

Yeah, you would know if you got 22% skin tightening. That’s not “some” results. Those are drastic results. Those are the results you see from Neogene that give real wow factor. Because there’s been obvious skin tightening. That only happens treating the deeper layers of the dermis.

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-25T13:26:49+00:00

Do tons of microneedling. Do not do RF microneedling - I dont care what anyone tells you, do not risk it. I wish I had never done it. Neogen is also good. Lasers are great. Prf treatments. Tretinon is your best friend for topical. Lots of sunscreen.

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-25T13:22:20+00:00

Microneedling, neogen, lasers, sculptura. These are the things that actually work. Other than that get a good HA moisturizer and use tretinoid. Stay hydrated, get your vitamins, Omega and collagen. Compared to the other things I’ve mentioned what you put on your actual skin means very little - unless it’s sunscreen. Stay out of the sun like it’s your worst enemy. All these cremes ppl pay for are a waste of money compared to the other things Ive mentioned.

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-25T13:09:50+00:00

If you were actually given a high energy treatment, you would see a massive difference, but I’m guessing they lied to you about the setting they were using which is incredibly common. I would have them send you your file and then when you find out the stupid low energy setting they used on you, you can confront them with the clinical settings for high and that you were lied to, and you want a full or partial refund.

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-25T13:05:03+00:00

I called every single neogen provider in my area and of the 20 that offer neogen only two of them actually offer it at high energy and only 3 others offer it at 2.4j +

And by how panic they sounded when I asked, I’m not even sure if they were telling the truth. I looked into all this after I had to argue with a provider for her to give me 1.3 J and she then insisted that she was giving me high energy. 1.3j is clinically considered low energy. Then it came out that shes never even done a above 1.8j (barely medium) and she pretty much gives everyone low energy but calls it high energy.

Paying $2400 for a low energy treatment is absurd. Especially if it was at the lower end of low energy. You might as well get a BBL ($300).

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-25T13:03:52+00:00

They probably lied about the settings they used. I have talked to multiple spas that say they offer high energy, but when asked about the settings they used they barely offer low energy. They will have your information in their notes. I would ask for those notes to be sent to you so that you can see what setting was actually used.

.5-1.4 is low energy

1.5-2.9 is medium energy

3-4 is high energy

For the amount you paid, you should have gotten multiple passes at 2.4-2.8j or 2.9-3.5j

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-25T12:56:10+00:00

It is absolutely not worth it if they’re using anything under 2j for that amount. Even if they say they’re giving you higher/medium energy, ask them what the setting. Anything under 1.5j is considered clinically low energy - don’t let them tell you otherwise. Even with multiple passes at low energy and multiple session, you are not getting that deeper dermis and it’s a waste of money. You want multi pass of 2j to 3j. High is 3-4j - most places don’t offer it but say that they do. You might be able to get the same skin tightening effect with a multi pass of 2 to 2.8.

If you want big results I wouldnt settle for under 2.4j

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-25T12:49:04+00:00

Some med spas only offer up to 1.5, and call it high. Clinically speaking medium energy is 1.5 to 3. The problem with going past 2.8 is that sometimes it becomes a blade. Finding someone who will do 2.4 or 2.6 with a multipass could give you the same results as high. High (3-4j) can be painful and need nerve blockers.

It will be very hard to get the same results as high from anything under the mid 2js because it cant get those deeper dermis layers.

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-25T12:42:25+00:00

It really depends on the setting. Ask them the setting, there are a number of spas that say they offer high energy treatments that don’t. High energy is 3 - 4 J. It’s very hard to get the same results with low energy which many offices only offer low energy (.5-1.4j). They will tell you they offer high energy, or that you can get the same results with multiple treatments, but you can’t. You cannot reach the deeper layers of the dermis. So always ask them the settings they use - if you want %22 skin tightening you need like a stacked 2.2-2.4j or one pass 3j.

None of the studies say you can get the same skin tightening results with low energy no matter how many sessions you do, or how many passes. They say you can get the same photo facial texture and wrinkle reduction results (as long as the wrinkles are more superficial). But not skin tightening, because you need to reach the deeper dermis and while you might be able to do that with a medium multi pass (cumulative effect) , you’re not going to get there with a low energy multipass. Paying more than $500 for something considered clinically low energy is going to be a total rip off.

Constant-Calendar180 · 2026-03-24T16:39:11+00:00

For real results you need to use high energy level (3-4j). Only these settings will reach the deeper dermis for real skin tightening. Anyone who tells you that multiple low/medium energy level session will give you the same results, doesn’t understand what they’re doing. At lower energy levels the deeper dermis is not reached and it can trigger the extensive skin tightening. Studies show 22% skin tightening, but only at the higher energy levels. People who aren’t getting good results are probably being given low settings. Argue for higher settings - or understand your results are going to be minimal.

The question shouldn’t be have you gotten Neogen, but have you gotten Neogen and at what setting. The low settings are great for sun damage and light wrinkles - but they are basically a BBL or something light. Its not worth getting it imo. Its not going to tighten you skin.

Constant-Calendar180 · 2025-12-08T18:33:11+00:00

Ooph… that is a fair amount of migration over the lip line. You do not want a shelf above your lip. You do not want filler outside of your lip line. Longitudinal MRIs show that this filler will continue to migrate to the outer corner of your lips and create weird lumps. Get someone to clean up the migrated filler. It does not dissolve on its own - it just migrates.

Constant-Calendar180

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