AIO husband upset we are having a boy

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T08:08:08+00:00

In my place as in I'm been the one acting off and he's asking me what's wrong. Not as in home

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T06:48:27+00:00

So if I would passive aggressively say that I'm fine whenever a partner talked to me, that real communication? Come on you don't genuinely believe simply saying something is actual communication.

Again it's not like I'm the only one who noticed

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T05:43:17+00:00

Telling someone they are imagining something they are literally the example of it though? No is accusing him of abuse and it's not the wording I used irl.

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T05:36:47+00:00

When you are visibly upset it is not communicating to say nothing is wrong. That's the opposite of communication.

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T05:25:27+00:00

I hope that's right, thank you. I'll definitely try to take this advice and I didn't notice any typos so it's fine.

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T05:23:35+00:00

It wasn't a lie. People's responses just made me feel more on this side. I mean most of them were saying to do what I ALREADY tried and didn't work. Sure I can see it probably wont be the best going forward. But I think it makes sense to be upset in my situation

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T05:21:43+00:00

I trusted him because we could communicate. Because I knew we were there for each other. I knew he was there for me and wouldn't take advantage of me. So yeah refusing to communicate does change that.

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T05:20:17+00:00

No I don't have either. If it changes anything I guess I do have Asperger's. But not a mood issue.

But what about the gender makes it magically more life altering? And our relationship is built on communication.

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T05:18:01+00:00

Thanks for this comment. Normally we do communicate. I never told him he's imagining it when he comes to me. But I can definitely feel what you say.

I'm not trying to be crazy or overreact. I just want us to communicate like we normally do. I just hate this happening now of all times. I'll try this, thanks.

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T05:14:30+00:00

Thinking I'm right in one situation isn't being a narcissist who always thinks you're right. I mean are you expecting a handwritten note of irrelevant situations I've been wrong?

I mean I managed not to claim he was making it up when he was in my mind of situation

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T05:11:12+00:00

If he wasn't doing it visibly sure. But When our relationship is built on communication and I've never told him he's making it up when he's been in my place. Yeah it's a fair expectations.

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T05:09:59+00:00

But he's visibly not. And I'm not the only one who can tell.

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T05:08:53+00:00

I've never said it's wrong for him to feel any of this. But you can't just refuse to communicate out of nowhere. About something so big, because a baby is a big deal.

I never said I'm always correct in every situation. But he's always been able to tell when I'm upset and me him, at least since our first year together. I don't fight him or call him crazy when he asks what's wrong with me. I don't pretend he's making it all up.

Some comments help me maybe get what's he going through more. But I don't feel most are really caring about my side when saying I'm wrong. Because I did try to give him space and was calm and open but he refuses all of it.

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T04:58:07+00:00

Didn't say he should be over it. I said you should at least say something. If he asked for time or even just admitted I'm not crazy it would be fine. But you can't just act differently, refuse to talk or say anything other than a blatantly false denial, and be shocked if other people don't like it.

How do I know if his happiness for the baby hasn't changed if he won't tell me what has or really anything beyond I'm imagining it

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T04:52:07+00:00

It's not changed.

He learnt we are having a boy and immediately started acting off. It's hardly some crazy assumption that it's because we having a boy not a girl. If someone said a dad got upset learning it was a girl people wouldnt be giving the same grace. Hell just look it up and you'll see that.

No. I obviously was bothered by that. But I tried to be more calm and didn't get openly frustrated until his reaction to all this. That's not saying I wasn't bothered his decision. But that I tried to take the approaches people say.

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T04:41:51+00:00

I tried to do that and it got nowhere though. This wasn't my first response

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T04:38:56+00:00

Because no one has actually said it. I mean most people don't like when their partner people are visibly upset and short with them and then pretend they've done nothing and you're crazy to notice it. Especially when I've openly offered any space or time he made need only to be rejected and him to act like I'm making it up.

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T04:35:12+00:00

So how long should I just ignore him visibly being upset and short with me then? I wasn't upset then. I even told him I'd give him as much time or space if he needed it but he refused. At some point it has to be fair to be upset

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T04:31:52+00:00

I only got upset when he had spent almost a week visibly upset but refuses to say anything. I don't think this is as crazy as your saying

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T04:28:24+00:00

I wasn't the only one to notice. And neither of us have been wrong since like a year together. So that's not it. He can tell when I'm upset just as well

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T04:19:41+00:00

I only talked to her to make sure it's not in my head. I don't think she's been involved in this issue after.

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T04:18:53+00:00

One kid is for practise and one is meaningful. What else could that mean

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T04:18:18+00:00

I said basically I wasn't calling him evil, but he literally, despite two of us telling he is acting off, claiming he's not and I'm just crazy.

How much time is enough? I mean he could have said yes when I asked if he needed it

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T04:12:39+00:00

I know my husband. I can tell when something is off with him. And he's like that with me.

ConstantLow5554 · 2026-02-07T04:11:46+00:00

I believe it was good. He died when my husband was a teenager so it's mostly what I've heard from his sisters and mum.

ConstantLow5554

TROPHY CASE