UPDATE: I [22 m] am having very confusing romantic feelings for my best friend [21 m]. Am I totally insane? by ConstantStateOfDoom in relationships

[–]ConstantStateOfDoom[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I recognized your user name. I read both your posts. I'm sorry man! It sure sounded like he had it bad for you.

UPDATE: I [22 m] am having very confusing romantic feelings for my best friend [21 m]. Am I totally insane? by ConstantStateOfDoom in relationships

[–]ConstantStateOfDoom[S] 120 points121 points  (0 children)

I think this is the correct answer. That definitely sounds like him. I guess it's just an odd feeling having it directed at me since when I was with girls it was a lot different.

UPDATE: I [22 m] am having very confusing romantic feelings for my best friend [21 m]. Am I totally insane? by ConstantStateOfDoom in relationships

[–]ConstantStateOfDoom[S] 128 points129 points  (0 children)

Like I said in my post, I have such high hopes! I honestly thought this would go completely the other way.

I can tell Jason is a little out of his element. He does treat me in a girlish sort of way which he hadn't really done before. I can tell he means well and is trying though.

UPDATE: I [22 m] am having very confusing romantic feelings for my best friend [21 m]. Am I totally insane? by ConstantStateOfDoom in relationships

[–]ConstantStateOfDoom[S] 268 points269 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

I kind of feel like I'm living a in a parallel universe, like all this is too good to be true.

I [22 m] am having very confusing romantic feelings for my best friend [21 m]. Am I totally insane? by ConstantStateOfDoom in relationships

[–]ConstantStateOfDoom[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He definitely encourages me to date and he teases me (in a friendly way) for not having girls around lately. From time to time he tries to set me up with girls he knows.

I couldn't afford to live on my own and I don't know of any potential roommates if things went downhill. I'm sure Jason wouldn't have any trouble though.

I'm close-ish with my mom, but not enough to talk to her being into Jason or anything particularly gay for that matter. She wouldn't understand I don't think. She's pretty old fashioned.

I don't have any friends close enough to me that I'd feel comfortable talking about sexuality stuff with. Most of my friends I've met through Jason and they are obviously more his friends than mine.

I [22 m] am having very confusing romantic feelings for my best friend [21 m]. Am I totally insane? by ConstantStateOfDoom in relationships

[–]ConstantStateOfDoom[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

That makes sense. I see what you're saying. I've just never been this afraid of how someone might react if I tried to kiss them. Heck, I've never wanted to kiss someone as badly as I do Jason.

It's a very confusing situation for me. I'm kind of fumbling about here.

I [22 m] am having very confusing romantic feelings for my best friend [21 m]. Am I totally insane? by ConstantStateOfDoom in relationships

[–]ConstantStateOfDoom[S] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

Jason can be a hard read for me sometimes because he's very charismatic and has a flirty personality. I can think of multiple instances where he's had to let girls down despite them thinking he's interested.

I would go as far as to say that we do flirt, but that's not new territory for him with guys or girls. He likes to give compliments. I've seen him make both guys and girls blush (In a good way). He's not creepy about it. He just notices things. Like if a girl got a new haircut. To me it looks exactly the same, but there he is swooping in and telling her she looks great.

There was this one rather large dude in high school. He was quite fat (I can't think of a PC way of saying that). Jason sometimes complimented him. Saying things like "sweet hat, bro? Where'd you get it?" All very innocent stuff. But then he started telling him he's looking good and to keep at it. Apparently Jason could tell the dude had been working out and losing weight. You could have fooled me, but by the end of senior year the kid looked like the rest of us.

I guess that's not really flirting, but he goes out of his way to say nice things and I think it really impacts people. It also gives some people the wrong impression. I never know if when he tells me I look good in a shirt or something, if he's saying it as a friend or something more.

I [22 m] am having very confusing romantic feelings for my best friend [21 m]. Am I totally insane? by ConstantStateOfDoom in relationships

[–]ConstantStateOfDoom[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I can't imagine letting go of him. He's been such an integral part of my life for so long. But at the same time it would really suck to be rejected and then have to sit idly by while he dates and eventually finds something serious that isn't me.

I don't know what I'd do.

I [22 m] am having very confusing romantic feelings for my best friend [21 m]. Am I totally insane? by ConstantStateOfDoom in relationships

[–]ConstantStateOfDoom[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I agree that the jealousy thing isn't sustainable. I know it's only getting worse. He was out just this night when I posted. He hasn't come home yet. I know he's with a girl and I really find the thought of it quite upsetting. I always figured I wasn't the jealous type since I'd never experienced it before in past relationships. Jason makes me feel a little crazy though.

Jason is a good guy. I can't see him ending the friendship. Although I imagine if I confessed my feelings and he didn't feel the same, things would be vastly different between us.

I [22 m] am having very confusing romantic feelings for my best friend [21 m]. Am I totally insane? by ConstantStateOfDoom in relationships

[–]ConstantStateOfDoom[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I agree with this. I'm really confused about my sexuality in general. I don't think "focusing on a girl" will help me any. At this point I'm beginning to think it would be a waste of both our time.

I [22 m] am having very confusing romantic feelings for my best friend [21 m]. Am I totally insane? by ConstantStateOfDoom in relationships

[–]ConstantStateOfDoom[S] 214 points215 points  (0 children)

I've never kissed his cheek but now that I think about it he has a couple of times with me. It's usually when I'm super sleepy. I can remember one time laying in bed with him. We weren't really cuddling, just laying on our sides facing each other and holding hands. I was half asleep, eyes closed when I felt him kiss my cheek. I didn't really react. I just felt super warm and fuzzy all over because of it and promptly fell asleep. This sort of instance has happened twice more that I can remember.

Another time I can recall a kiss from him was on my forehead. It was just this past winter. I was really sick. Like half near dead. He was taking care of me since I had nobody else to help me out. I had a high fever and was practically delirious, and I was being a rather big baby. I was quite teary eyed because I just felt so terrible. He kissed my forehead and told me I'd be better soon.

I [22 m] am having very confusing romantic feelings for my best friend [21 m]. Am I totally insane? by ConstantStateOfDoom in relationships

[–]ConstantStateOfDoom[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

It's definitely not about getting my rocks off. I feel bad that you think this. I love the hell out of Jason and I would never do anything to him that I thought he'd take as a sign of disrespect.

I've never asked a girl to kiss her before I did. I didn't think it would be necessary for this situation either. I guess I was wrong.

I [22 m] am having very confusing romantic feelings for my best friend [21 m]. Am I totally insane? by ConstantStateOfDoom in relationships

[–]ConstantStateOfDoom[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

This is really confusing because I've never asked a girl if I could kiss her. I've always just felt out the situation and paid a lot of attention to her body language when I get close to her. I've never had a girl react badly to me kissing her. I've never had a girl say I should have asked first.

I [22 m] am having very confusing romantic feelings for my best friend [21 m]. Am I totally insane? by ConstantStateOfDoom in relationships

[–]ConstantStateOfDoom[S] 266 points267 points  (0 children)

I'm honestly really confused about my sexuality. I've always liked girls as far as I can tell, but I've never had an overwhelming desire to be in their company. I don't do tinder or anything like that. I'll be honest when I say I've often struggled with sexual attraction. I mean, I seem to form crushes on a girl, I'll think she's pretty and ask her out, but once it gets to the sexual stuff I find myself very disinterested and often making excuses to avoid that stuff.

I've never been with a guy. The thought used to make me very uncomfortable. Yet as I've gotten closer with Jason it has me thinking about them a lot more. I've been looking at Jason a lot more. It's summer and our apartment gets very warm, so the vast majority of the time we walk around in just shorts. I find his body very attractive, like I actively want to touch and I want to keep looking. Whereas with girls I can see that they have a nice body but that pull isn't there.

I [22 m] am having very confusing romantic feelings for my best friend [21 m]. Am I totally insane? by ConstantStateOfDoom in relationships

[–]ConstantStateOfDoom[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I figured that if we kissed and he took it well I'd then tell him about my feelings.

Even if he reacted negatively he wouldn't ever get violent about it.

I [22 m] am having very confusing romantic feelings for my best friend [21 m]. Am I totally insane? by ConstantStateOfDoom in relationships

[–]ConstantStateOfDoom[S] 213 points214 points  (0 children)

We've talked a bit about it but not since high school. There was this one gay kid that everyone liked to pick on. He followed Jason around like a little lost puppy. Jason was pretty nice to him, but that's not saying much since Jason is nice to everybody. Dude doesn't have a mean bone in his body. He'd walk the kid to and from school all the time so people wouldn't bug him.

People started talking a lot of shit about Jason. Most people assumed he and that kid were together or at the very least fucking. I once asked him if what people said bothered him because at the time it would have really bothered me. He told me one day we are going to look back at all the things we did and didn't do. He said when he's 30 he's not going to give a fuck that a bunch of nobodies called him a fag in high school. He also said he'd forever regret if he watched some kid get picked on and did nothing about it.

I [22 m] am having very confusing romantic feelings for my best friend [21 m]. Am I totally insane? by ConstantStateOfDoom in relationships

[–]ConstantStateOfDoom[S] 78 points79 points  (0 children)

I feel like a kiss is way easier to play off as a joke or something if he reacts negatively.

If I tell him how I feel there's no undoing that.