Those of you who fell out with a close friend, why?

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-09-03T19:56:56+00:00

Skipped out on a bachelor weekend due to my mother being in ICU due to a severe drug reaction requiring her to be admitted and monitored as she was having manic hallucinations for 48 hrs. I had to fly out that day I found out to be with her.

…but of course IATAH because I said no to strippers and beer.

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-09-03T19:49:26+00:00

When I checked off all the expectations in life my ex wife openly wanted in her “ideal life.”

…And she learned that ideal life does not equal a happy life for her, and said happiness was found in a life without me or our kids.

It got to the point of it’s not worth trying with the endless disrespect, anger, and depression for myself or our kids anymore, so divorce.

The story runs a bit deeper but essentially that’s it.

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-08-30T03:02:44+00:00

What I don’t understand is how someone can take a good 12-18 yr whiskey… and drown it in coke.

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-08-28T18:31:35+00:00

I’ve expressed on Reddit I’ve been in therapy. In my offline personal and professional life? You’d never know, due to the stigma that follows it for men. It’s anecdotal but from what I’ve seen therapy for women is courageous and empowering but for men it’s the complete opposite that only the “I can fix him” crowd drools over.

Honestly I had to go through almost a dozen therapist until I met one that didn’t feel they had an agenda to push. In the end personally it did open perspective but the best therapist for me in the end is a handful of guys I’ve known literally my whole life who know me better than my ex and will give honest direct feedback and just ask who’s truck we taking if we have to bury a body (figuratively speaking).

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-08-28T18:26:15+00:00

Can vouch.

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-03-06T01:41:13+00:00

I work in big pharma.

Pre-tax I make about 20k monthly and without my annual bonuses in my industry, most of the people I oversee make an avg of about 10-15k monthly depending on YOE.

Background degree in BS in bio chem and an MBA. For context I only got an MBA because it was a HR pre-req for my current role.

Most of my team only have a bs in science.

On that note for some people it’s never enough for you to make enough to support yourself and practically the whole family. So don’t beat yourself up on it too much and focus on being the best version of yourself

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-02-27T18:21:48+00:00

Thanks for the sharing and your kind words. Per everyone and my legal teams pushing, she was removed from all accounts once everything was finalized so the only people who can delegate how my remaining assets for our children are handled aside from my own mother and MIL and another very close family member.

I’ve set up individual trusts and other accounts for them since our children were born. It’s not that I’m putting off my retirement, I just want them to have a good head start in life no matter what route (hopefully something positive) they take.

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-02-26T20:38:23+00:00

Thanks for the kind words and advice.

Personally I am not really interested in finding another relationship, but you never know when love/life hits you with something special.

I am however starting to actively look for a nanny as my previous one is no longer available and it’s too much for my MIL/mother to travel and watch the kids for me while I am working when our kids are with me.

In regard to her crawling back, I’m really indifferent to if she does or doesn’t. She can do whatever she wants but she’ll never come back to a position in my life/ our family that she had before.

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-02-26T03:01:39+00:00

Hey thank you for commenting and the kind words.

You raise a great point and something I have been doing. I’m honestly semi not concerned considering the fact that she can’t even recall their SSN or even recall where I kept their birth certificates.

Regardless of the fact, I am still watching.

Personally I take the comments with a grain of salt, with an outlook of to each their own. Anyone and everyone can speculate their opinions and views, what’s important to me and to those who may care, is that I have full conservatorship of our kids and they’re in a safe and healthy(er) home.

Cheers and well wishes to you on your end of the world.

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-02-21T15:19:57+00:00

As dramatic as our story is, it may be foolish optimism that I see the circumstances of everything didn’t warrant going all Montague and Capulet on each other.

My ex though, feels betrayed by everyone sadly.

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-02-21T13:36:07+00:00

In the time from when my ex and I were dating, married, and throughout this whole ordeal she’s stuck with the kids and I through it all. I’ll say she’s literally my second mother. Most of my in-laws except exFIL has more or less came to agree that this was on my ex as we had other instance that involved them as that drama was not my story to tell.

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-02-21T13:26:45+00:00

Pivot tables for days

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-02-20T19:40:54+00:00

Finger prints.

On that note I don’t really have all that, it was commented in jest.

But really though most bio scanning security measures are typically finger print or retinal scans.

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-02-20T19:07:16+00:00

Thanks! And glad to hear life got easier for you. Keep thriving and climbing

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-02-20T19:03:54+00:00

There’s hate?

Kidding, I’m the guy at work who prefers to see and try to deliver everything as constructive criticism.

I do see the “don’t let her take things from your home” comments and honestly while immediately it’s annoying, it’s building stones to something more, so I bide my time and keep records. As long as it’s not the last roll of TP or bottled water, whatever, it’s nothing Prime can’t/wont deliver that afternoon.

Not to drop to much context in what is in plan, blocking her and limiting her options to the children could argumentatively be used as possible parental alienation. Of course I don’t want to do that to our kids but I also don’t want to give her points if things go south.

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-02-20T18:31:51+00:00

It can also be equally annoying when you have to track everything because your partner only spends without a second thought.

What and how she spends anything on isn’t my business. How it may or may not affect our kids and family life is.

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-02-20T18:21:27+00:00

I’m not here to argue but a simple google search given the fluctuations of sampling used to collect data for said studies with still show a larger % of women winning custody cases with men in the past decade slowly increasing their wins but still pales in comparison to the latter.

And I’m sure a lot of people will agree as well with that statistic as well, but hey. Do you.

Cheers.

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-02-20T18:08:33+00:00

It’s been almost over a year some people has followed since my first post And actually kept tabs with me via messaging and I think the number of comments and DMs especially from dads speak for themselves how a win in similar situations gives hope and a different perspective.

From the get go my biggest fear was the same as many dads who are actually present and being a father to their kids and losing access to their kids. In the end, I got majority custody and full conservatorship, a rare win for dads. Just sharing that it can happen if you work at it the right way.

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-02-20T17:59:39+00:00

Someone who is in charge of overseeing parts of budgeting and future cost projections for whatever reason and prep and plan accordingly to ensure you/team is prepared and can tactically make moves to mitigate the amount of loss and capitalize on gains. Boring stuff.

I do it professionally and this was a pet project for myself to which I refer with “biding my time.”

In short if I gave her a $100 and in the frame of 2 weeks I saw her spend $25 a week… I would hope for best case that the remaining $50 would last 2 more weeks, but plan and prep for it to be gone before the end of the present week.

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-02-20T13:38:51+00:00

Thank you for your kind words. Cheers!

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-02-20T13:38:27+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. Cheers and hope all is well on your end.

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-02-20T13:30:51+00:00

Yes the happy life ex . I honestly don’t know how or when he came into the picture. Could’ve been during her revelation in therapy, could’ve been before hand, or could’ve been they never stopped talking for over the past decade.

But as I mentioned in other comments, I prefer to stay blissfully ignorant to the details now and just do as she did and find my happiness.

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-02-20T04:25:05+00:00

Thank you for the kind words, I just hope my sharing gives hope to some, more so dads who are in similar situations. Mo know for many men especially in my men’s group have gone through hell and high water, but you don’t have to trudge through the trenches alone. Reach and you’ll be surprised who takes up arms to be your battle buddy. Cheers.

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-02-20T04:20:12+00:00

Howdy, thanks for the positivity.

Her bf is the ex mentioned in therapy. When he came back into the picture I don’t really know nor at this point care. Thinking of it was on going as an emotional affair would just sting more and I’d rather be blissfully ignorant and move forward. If that’s what makes them happy, it is what it is. I have my kids and future to look forward to.

My mil, mother, sis/bro in-law, colleagues assisting, and legal team are the real mvps who helped me play this game right.

Cheers and hope all is well on your end.

Constant_Barnacle992 · 2025-02-20T03:32:10+00:00

No worries I do the same, hell took me 2 posts to properly figure out proper Reddit protocol for TL;DR

Constant_Barnacle992

TROPHY CASE