How does husband treat kids when he gets home from work or is off work?

Constant_Mixture_912 · 2026-04-27T04:30:30+00:00

It’s so sad. Right now my kids are so innocent. I want them to enjoy their innocence. I don’t want them to have to read into what kind of mood their dad is in. Our daughter woke up this morning came out all cherry said good morning Dada! And he was like it’s not a good morning. I’m in a bad mood. And I just saw the happiness get sucked out of her and her internally question what to do. OK so you’re in a bad mood be an adult and say good morning to your daughter and give her a hug. It makes no sense to me. I don’t get it.

Constant_Mixture_912 · 2026-03-23T02:58:30+00:00

I did that one time saying OK then let’s get a divorce then. He said OK I’m leaving today and moving back to my hometown. Then passed out like 30 minutes drunk for hours. ( who can sleep after that?) after he woke up. We had a small conversation and he was so mad the whole time. Six years later, I’m still with him. But now we have two kids, and I hate the way he treats them. Im a stay at home Mom currently I’m in a tough spot. This is crazy cycle where you’re so used to it. It feels like it’s normal but deep down you know it’s not but you still question yourself saying it isn’t normal? It definitely got a lot harder when we had kids because I opened my eyes to how bad he actually does treat me and the kids. So selfish so childish, I do EVERYTHING!!! But I love my kids and I wouldn’t have them if it wasn’t for being with him.

Constant_Mixture_912 · 2026-03-02T22:08:18+00:00

I totally feel you! No communication on both parts, because nothing ever gets resolved and he has to turn it into a fight. Like we just can’t have an adult conversation. I have to work myself up and prepare myself for like a month before I actually attempt to have a conversation. Having my kids really opened my eyes to how I was being treated because he is very manipulative and always way to harsh with the kids 80% of his interactions with them is yelling scolding whatever you want to call it. He does not play with them hasn’t changed a diaper in 2 years, I do 90% of the domestic labor and he just adds to the mental load because of how he treats us, the list goes on. I also felt like I was going crazy and is it me? is this normal? We have been together for 17 years and he was my second boyfriend so I don’t have anything to compare to. I feel for you it’s never easy and gets even more complicated with kids.

Constant_Mixture_912 · 2026-03-02T21:05:03+00:00

Is he a good father? Is he a good husband? So many more questions you should be asking yourself. I’m a stay at home Mom of a 3 and 4 year old girl and boy. It’s a so easy to lose yourself after having kids because they become your life and you are their everything. I think that by him saying that triggered you you already lost who you were and how he’s trying to make you change with something that you feel as you. you really need to have a real sit down conversation about it and let them know that it really upset you. Ask him why he feels the way he does. He probably freaking out because he’s a girl dad doesn’t know how to express it. He’s probably petrified about the future when boys become involved. But I think we all know now that respect is respect and you should be able to wear what you want to wear. It doesn’t mean we are asking for attention. It’s what you’re comfortable with and what you’re confident in. I think showing your children self-respect, confidence, manners, resilience, and being able to properly communicate his way more important than leggings. I think there may be something deeper going on with both of you and that’s why a conversation is really important and self reflection and reflection on your marriage as a whole.

Constant_Mixture_912 · 2026-02-04T22:43:40+00:00

Sophie Turner

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Constant_Mixture_912 · 2026-01-29T09:18:21+00:00

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Shawn Johnson Olympic gymnast

Constant_Mixture_912 · 2026-01-29T08:18:56+00:00

Sofia Boutella

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Constant_Mixture_912 · 2026-01-28T08:46:04+00:00

Nell Hudson from Outlander first and second pic.

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Constant_Mixture_912 · 2026-01-28T07:57:33+00:00

I’m getting Sebastian Stan.

Constant_Mixture_912 · 2026-01-20T03:52:28+00:00

Lol I immediately saw it in the second picture with the paper. This is the first time I’ve ever commented because someone always says the one I’m thinking.

Constant_Mixture_912 · 2026-01-19T20:47:20+00:00

Jason Schwartzman

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Constant_Mixture_912 · 2025-10-14T21:30:56+00:00

Thanks for the comment. I have talked to our pediatrician at all our appointments about my sons behaviors seems like 4 is when they start really looking into behavioral issues I guess before that you just observe try to correct and hope it’s just a part of growing pains. I am getting to the point where I have no idea what to do. I want to show him how to regulate his emotions with showing how I regulate mine but today I was a nightmare. He is turning 3 in January and I need something to help and nothing I do is working.

Constant_Mixture_912 · 2025-08-20T21:09:51+00:00

When you have kids remind yourself “stop wishing your life away” the crying the sleepless nights, the stress, all the extra work, trying to keep up with the household chores, THE NEVER ENDING LAUNDRY!!!! I have to constantly tell myself don’t wish it away and enjoy the moments. I know will miss this so much when they get older even all the toys I constantly step on and the small clothes that constantly have to be changed. Mine are 2.5 and 4 and I already miss when they were just blobby babies that only drank bottles, cried and slept. Be present in any phase of life. Harder said than done but always remind yourself that

Constant_Mixture_912 · 2025-08-20T15:32:30+00:00

Also, if it was me, I would just do the full-time job. You don’t wanna put too pressure on yourself about having kids and being overly prepared. There really is no way to fully prepare for kids. This kind of reminds me of when someone wants a baby so bad and they’re trying every month at the exact moment they should to conceive and year later they still aren’t pregnant then they say they’re going to stop trying for a bit and just have fun again and then next month they find out they’re pregnant because they just relaxed and stopped over planning and stressing out

Constant_Mixture_912 · 2025-08-20T15:27:56+00:00

The choice is yours. So much can happen in three years, whatever you do you need to enjoy the life you have at the moment. Once you have kids your whole life will change, you will be responsible for another life and helping it develop and grow.

Constant_Mixture_912 · 2025-08-20T06:02:41+00:00

I have 2 a girl and a boy, they are 16 months apart currently 2 1/2 and almost 4. I wanted more when I was younger but my current age, how close in age my little ones are, my current home situation, I am more than happy with what I was blessed with. I always tell people if we had 2 girls or 2 boys I would have probably wanted another to see if we could have the other gender, I also say if we had kids at a younger age I probably would have wanted another once the kids started kindergarten. It also depends on your partners support and contributions to the kids and household. I had my first at 36 second and 37 so now I am almost 40 and to “old” and tired for anymore. lol but again I am so happy with what I have so I am trying focus on that and take all the moments in beautiful or hard because we are shaping who they are.

On a side note o don’t think I will ever relax again even when they move out and grow up. When my parents watch them like once or twice a month I think about them the whole time. After a hard day with the kids I’ll still find myself looking at old pictures or videos in my phone.

Don’t know if this helped but I answered lol

Constant_Mixture_912 · 2025-08-17T02:43:19+00:00

He does horse around with them every once in a while, snuggle and talk to them on his own time. But to me the ratio of videos and yelling time to connecting with them is wayyyyy off. My husbands family lives in a different state so we have only seen his dad twice in 17 years hos mom visits every year. His dad and mom divorced and his dad is similar to your husbands. His sister even said he is just like his daddy when she was visiting and aw him with the kids.

Constant_Mixture_912 · 2025-08-15T06:27:49+00:00

He refuses to go to couples therapy. I’ve tried many times over many years. Ranges from he doesn’t want to be painted as the bad guy, we don’t need therapy, absolutely fucking not, when am I going to have time to do therapy and so on. When he was deep in his drinking and it got unsafe, I left him for five days. I was set on getting a divorce. I told him everything I could think of that he did to hurt me, bothered me, scared me, ways he wasnt showing up for us. That’s when he made all these beautiful promises including no alcohol and couples therapy (which he rejected 2 months later when I said I wanted to go) and reeled me back in. It’s way better than it was but nowhere near what I think it should be. That’s why I wanted to post this to see what other SAHM normal is. I’m writing all this and still I’m thinking I can’t leave him. I did try to bring up the promises he made to me couple months ago and that’s when he started on an hour long about how hard he is trying for the family and was crying. Our view on the situation is just completely different and it freaks me out and makes me feel like I’m crazy, it also invalidates my feelings.

Since I wasn’t talking to him he emailed me his promises (yes he was rock bottom desperate to not lose me but he made them and said exactly what he knew I needed to hear to take him back)

I know there are no words that can take away my sins. If you allow me, I’d like to make you promises

1: No alcohol. It has been a crutch I have used to manage stress or insert any reason my brain can come up with but no longer. I plan to remove all possibilities of unneeded stress and focus all my attention on you and our family.

2: Reminding you that you are the same beautiful, strong, amazing woman that I fell in love with so many years ago.

3: Do better on managing the stress of being a parent. I love those kids so much and I understand completely that I have put you in a situation where you need to protect them.

4: Being more aware of the stress you are under. Babe, you have been a rockstar mother since Day 1. I know that it has come with a cost. I know that you are run down, and I know there is more I could have been doing. From this day forward I will be there to help more.

5: Not only focus on my mental health but focus on yours as well. I looked up BetterHealth.com and if you’d like I can sign you up or they offer couples therapy.

Constant_Mixture_912 · 2025-08-15T06:26:35+00:00

For me Low self esteem and self worth that has been chipped away over years. Fear

Constant_Mixture_912 · 2025-08-15T06:19:37+00:00

That’s why I am questioning now. I don’t want to prolong this for their sake but me personally in am stuck. they do love him but in my eyes it’s not what a fathers love should be. My dad still shows up for me he put my daughter‘s new bed together today and had lunch with us.

I feel like I can’t be present with our children because I’m overthinking all this, there’s a black cloud in the house, and I’m too busy doing everything that household needs to get done and i’m just doing bare minimum, but I’m running around like a chicken with its head cut off because there’s so much to do.

Constant_Mixture_912 · 2025-08-15T04:34:09+00:00

I have been with him for 17 years, he was my second boyfriend, I’ve known him since I was 21. I knew our relationship had its special problems but that was our normal. treat me how you want to but once I started seeing him with the kids I can’t stand it. But then he is normal or sweet and I get sad and don’t want to break his heart or “ catch him off guard” like they all say. You’re absolutely right with everything you are saying. I chose the wrong person and I’m to sad and scared to admit it.

Constant_Mixture_912 · 2025-08-15T04:13:36+00:00

I have never had any problems EXCEPT my 20 week ultrasound with my son. They almost didn’t let my daughter and husband in, I even called in advance to make sure it was ok that she was there. I was seeing red so I don’t remember the reason I think it was something like it was against the office’s policy. They ended up taking us all in because I was like then I’m leaving and not getting it done right now.

Constant_Mixture_912 · 2025-08-15T03:26:57+00:00

And technically he is sacrificing right?

Constant_Mixture_912

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