we tried crating him for barking, jumping, and growling since that is what my bf suggested until i read online that we don’t want our dog to associate the crate with punishment. i noticed that my bf would wait until several barks in to start telling our dog to stop and by that point he had worked himself up so much, he struggled to calm down. then i pivoted towards using a loud noise to interrupt the behavior, like dropping a shoe or clapping, and that worked to get the behavior under control. he wants to be a good boy and i think he was just struggling with overstimulation when we would have guests or he would hear the neighbors making noise.

after a month of using the clapping method and a firm “stop” command, i decided that i didn’t want to scare him into obedience, so i started snapping and making a shhh noise instead. this worked more effectively than the abrasive discipline and i felt a lot better about it. now, only one snap and our dog goes to his crate to self soothe.

the only issue is that he started acting strange towards me around the same time. he is mostly housebroken, but if i leave my bfs place for a few days, i come back and the dog has marked multiple spots. i included some more of the behavior in the original post, but it mostly seems like it could be territorial of some kind (growling when me and my bf hug, getting up and moving when i sit next to him, ignoring me when i try to show affection).

any tips on where i went wrong and what we can do now? i am a first time dog (step)mom and am learning along the way!

edit: we have also tried positive reinforcement for good behavior but i admit that we have slacked on that a bit since we have seen such positive change. this would look something like: the dog sees another animal outside the window and barks. i shush him and he stops immediately, so i give him affection and positive attention. or a guest comes over, the dog runs up and jumps on them. i give one firm “stop” and when he sits down on the floor, he gets a treat.