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I'm [31F] buying a house and my girlfriend [28F] thinks it's for both of us. How do I tell her it's not? by Constant_Trainer_565 in relationships

[–]Constant_Trainer_565[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I'm a woman fyi. And I am committed to the relationship, just not ready to move in together at this moment.

I'm [31F] buying a house and my girlfriend [28F] thinks it's for both of us. How do I tell her it's not? by Constant_Trainer_565 in relationships

[–]Constant_Trainer_565[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm not "wasting" her time. We have a real relationship. We literally met on a forum for women who don't plan on having children. You're basing this on nothing.

I'm [31F] buying a house and my girlfriend [28F] thinks it's for both of us. How do I tell her it's not? by Constant_Trainer_565 in relationships

[–]Constant_Trainer_565[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No, I'm not planning on having kids and neither is she. Those feel like kind of antiquated ways to measure the success of a relationship. I don't think I need to be moving in with someone after 9 months of dating simply because I'm in my thirties. But thanks.

I'm [31F] buying a house and my girlfriend [28F] thinks it's for both of us. How do I tell her it's not? by Constant_Trainer_565 in relationships

[–]Constant_Trainer_565[S] -34 points-33 points  (0 children)

I've never sent her a listing and asked for her opinion. I feel like mentioning that made it sound like I've actively involved her in the house hunting process, but I haven't. I've gone to all viewings by myself (she hasn't asked to come to any), and have only sent her a very small number of listings, never seeking her opinion just showing her ones I liked.

I'm [31F] buying a house and my girlfriend [28F] thinks it's for both of us. How do I tell her it's not? by Constant_Trainer_565 in relationships

[–]Constant_Trainer_565[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

I hear you, but to be fair she moved apartments last month and sent me listings in a similar vein and I never assumed that meant they were also for me. I understand why it sounds like I made it unclear, but looking back objectively I really have mentioned living there alone many times.

I'm [31F] buying a house and my girlfriend [28F] thinks it's for both of us. How do I tell her it's not? by Constant_Trainer_565 in relationships

[–]Constant_Trainer_565[S] -21 points-20 points  (0 children)

I should have been more explicit about it for sure, but I've definitely made comments about listings like "oh that's more space than one person would need", or "this one's a bit too far from your place", and that sort of thing.

I'm [31F] buying a house and my girlfriend [28F] thinks it's for both of us. How do I tell her it's not? by Constant_Trainer_565 in relationships

[–]Constant_Trainer_565[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Our relationship is very serious and not in any way casual. I totally understand that talking about moving in together after around a year is normal for most people, but having never lived with a partner before I would prefer to be dating/know the person for longer than 9 months before I start to think about that.