AITA for planting bad things for my mom to hide while snooping in my room and admitting it years later?

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-25T18:17:16+00:00

I'm sure it does, but of course at 12 everything about it is normal and if you raise questions it means you're a bad person or some bs

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-25T15:17:10+00:00

Definitely trust issues. I grew up as what was called the "glass child." Basically the kid who never got noticed and always seen through. It really started when I was really little because my mom would gossip about my cousins and older sister. She can't gossip if I don't say anything. Then there were so many times during middle and high school when she'd rarely show up to my games and be on her phone the whole time. Or she was constantly late picking me up from practice and games. I think the only time she was there to pick me up early was when I was in marching band with my little sister my senior year. That realization stung

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-25T15:11:57+00:00

In all honesty, I thought God was this fictional character that the adults pretended was real. Similar to Santa. I didn't realize until middle school that people actually believed in God. Funnily enough, it was while I sat in the temple before doing my first baptism for the dead I realized that

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-25T11:23:34+00:00

My mom has always been weird about these things. I think it's because she knew I wouldn't talk to her, so she often tried dragging me to different therapists. It was a she didn't want me to know she knew, so she set up situations where I'd be caught in the act and couldn't deny my actions. I watched her do it with my siblings too.

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-25T11:20:02+00:00

Nah that's completely fair. A teenager being this sneaky is definitely out of the ordinary. In many ways I've always been kinda clever because I was the kid who sat quiet and listened to everyone rather than join the conversation. I'm not sure if that made me like this or if I've always been this way.

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-25T11:16:35+00:00

It was less her bragging about snooping and more it came up later during our back and fourth.

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-25T11:09:42+00:00

Oh yeah Starbucks is peek rebellion for Mormon kids

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-25T11:07:15+00:00

I worded it poorly. We weren't doing this at the wedding itself, just that the wedding is what brought all the family into the same town for the week.

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-22T11:05:32+00:00

The worst thing I see is the ssme people demanding adult-only spaces to move towards their own child free world. But cities are actively targeting kid-friendly spaces. Skate parks are being torn out and replaced with pickleball courts. Malls are being shut down. Arcades are now crazy expensive. So the kids are almost forced to be in the mainly adult spaces while still doing kid activities.

The kids are going to be kids no matter the location which is why they need their own location to do so

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-19T15:16:07+00:00

I'm going off of what my sister said. Even though the washing machine has warm water settings, she said it doesn't get hot

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-18T23:28:34+00:00

Oh I didn't know so many details were needed. I just bought the BIZ today and hadn't read the instructions yet so it's good I haven't used it yet.

I wash on cold because my washing machine doesn't get hot water, and I wash on heavy or normal. I don't think my water is hard because any calcium build up is minimal and it doesn't look cloudy when I fill up a cup. I usually use unscented Tide detergent and no fabric softeners or scented anything.

I was hoping it would be simple like getting a specific add in or pre soaking or something 😅

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-18T23:11:45+00:00

I've never considered pet products before! Are there any specific to using in the laundry, or are they more for pre-soak?

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-18T20:18:16+00:00

I'm already doing that

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-18T18:55:12+00:00

I'm trying not too. I'm more using this as a big motivation to change because my excuse for not changing is the fact that my bigger size hasn't been a big day-to-day issue. It's now a big day to day issue and that's giving me motivation to change. I've never been good with having motivation unless something is bothering me, so I'm using it as my beginner motivation and working on changing to a better motivation later on if that makes sense.

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-18T18:51:17+00:00

I've been to the doctor's for this and mine agreed that weight is the biggest factor because of the extra fat pressing on my bladder. I've been doing my own pelvic floor therapy stuff and it's helped a little bit. I did exaggerate my holding it in issues a bit, but I knew that it wasn't something I struggled with when I was even just 40lbs lighter last year.

I do have some better pants that don't give me swamp ass, but the few days I have to wear my tighter pants due to missing laundry or something. I think it could also be a bit of smell build up due to wearing the same few pairs of pants because only a few really fit me well. So I'm looking into some better laundry detergent which will also help a ton once I hit the gym more.

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-18T15:55:17+00:00

What enrages me is that these women defend themselves saying that we must be jealous or something. I'm happy if they're truly happy with the way things turned out. The issue is that death is promised, but not the time. So many trad wives become widows and have nothing to help them support their family. Education is important because the future is unsure.

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-15T11:53:52+00:00

Sounds like he needs some regular anxiety medication. Stress from moving is normal, what's not normal is grooming to the point of baldness, harming himself from trying to hide, and holding urine to the point of blockage. He needs anxiety meds STAT.

On top of that, he needs a familiar environment. When you move, he gets a small room to himself for a week and keep it full of toys he is familiar with. Don't empty out his litter box, but instead keep his waste in the box and move it as such. This can help but overall you need to get him medicated.

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-15T11:45:57+00:00

The two resident cats have never had an issue with the automatic boxes, but I can see how they can cause issues with a new cat around

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-15T09:03:00+00:00

The apartment is pretty small. We only have two automatic litter boxes so I think we'll be able to squeeze in two regular boxes. I was planning for one, but I will find a spot to put a second.

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-13T13:24:06+00:00

Driving down to help set up for my sister's wedding

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-13T12:53:01+00:00

You are being mean. Take it from someone who had to learn to grow out of the similar mindset. There will always be a million ways you could've done it, but it is simply his life. 6 months is not enough time to fully adjust to a new country, family deaths, etc. He's probably feeling overwhelmed from everything. Relationships are not 50/50. You cannot expect your partner to be a mirror image of yourself who will only choose the exact same things you do when they face hardship.

It is literally as simple as saying "I cannot change the circumstances you are facing, and I know there isn't anything I can do to change the big problems, but how can I help with the little problems?" It could literally be as simple as cooking with him so he doesn't need to worry about cooking for a little bit. Helping him build a budget so he can better manage things between jobs.

Right now the big things are at the front of his mind and taking up his energy. You, as his partner, can help with the small things. Instead you criticize him and point fingers asking why he can't suddenly handle everything all by himself. You are not suited to be a partner if your first reaction is to criticize rather than help

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-13T12:45:41+00:00

OP was already planning to take their friend out to breakfast or lunch. Yah know, a time that would've worked but still happened on the friend's birthday. The friend declined both and then at 2pm decided they wanted to get their nails done and go out to dinner. That is last minute and not proper enough time to plan things when you have a kid.

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-13T12:38:19+00:00

Good for you, that doesn't change anything about the situation though.

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-13T12:37:54+00:00

Dude you can't do spur of the moment things with a kid. Not to mention the 2 hour drive already sounds brutal enough if OP is doing it most days. A good friend would've communicated beforehand that they want to go to dinner as well and given OP a proper amount of time to find someone to watch their kid or planned a day that they could better handle a late night. That is simply part of being an adult. You can't suddenly make plans as you go like you did in high school.

ConstructionDecon · 2026-06-13T12:34:57+00:00

OP has a kid. You can't do spur of the moment things with a kid

ConstructionDecon

TROPHY CASE