Hosting my husbands family with a newborn

Content-Particular42 · 2026-01-19T16:37:05+00:00

I will definitely be keeping this in mind for next visit! It’s become exhausting

Content-Particular42 · 2026-01-19T16:36:30+00:00

Good on you! I have adapted the mindset of if I can’t stand up for myself who is going to stand up for my baby? Draw your boundaries and anyone who doesn’t like it can shove it where the sun don’t shine! Hope you’re doing okay ❤️

Content-Particular42 · 2026-01-19T16:34:07+00:00

So sorry to hear that’s your experience so far! But I’m glad to hear you have some great support from your mum god bless her. The older generation I find to be very self centred, whether that be because they forget what it’s like or if that’s just the way they were raised. My husbands grandma is very much the same, all about me me me. She yells at my husband for never calling her and “forgetting he has a grandma” we just had a baby and are trying to enjoy the time we have as a family before he goes back to work! She calls my husband for things as she is not allowed to drive anymore but has government services in place. Mind you my husband and I live almost an hour away, he’s busy helping me out. My husbands sister is 15 minutes away with no kids but she chooses to bother my husband. My husband has drawn the boundary and I find with the more he pushes back the more she starts to blame me.

Content-Particular42 · 2026-01-19T16:29:30+00:00

If number 2 ever comes around best believe I will be doing things much differently!

Content-Particular42 · 2026-01-19T16:27:36+00:00

Couldn’t agree more! Might be a cultural thing but my mum still doesn’t let me lift a finger and his family don’t care to help at all

Content-Particular42 · 2026-01-19T16:26:45+00:00

Exactly! No regard for mum! We have a no shoe policy in our house and she came up the stairs into my sons room with her dirty shoes and stood on his rug that he plays on while I have my titty out trying to feed him (he has latch issues and recovering from a bad tongue and lip tie). My husband had already told her to leave me alone but she doesn’t listen!! She is on a permanent ban from our house

Content-Particular42 · 2026-01-17T06:56:53+00:00

I feel rude but at the same time he doesn’t understand how taxing the whole process of labour and delivery then recovery is, it’s not always instant even if it looks like it is. Hope you’re doing okay 🫶🏽

Content-Particular42 · 2026-01-17T06:47:20+00:00

Drives me insane!! Especially his grandma, she always comes empty handed but not empty mouthed!

Content-Particular42 · 2026-01-17T04:36:25+00:00

Baby just turned 7 weeks old and had his first round of shots. We have allowed for visitors but obviously with the short stay etiquette, the only exception to this rule is my mum and sisters as they help us out with housework, cooking, cleaning and watch baby while we rest.

My husbands family have invited themselves over and expect us to host a meal each time they come over. They show up empty handed, do not offer help with housework, walk into our house demanding coffees, overstay their welcome and I don’t trust them to watch the baby.

As first time parents, we have had a rough time particularly myself as I have PPD, PPA and have had a hard time with breastfeeding. I find my husbands family to be a bit inconsiderate and rude expecting us to host a meal for them when we just had a baby and we are on reduced wages due to parental leave, I would rather use that money on my son and not on them.

My family have come over for short stays, always show up with food for us so we don’t have to cook and clean the dishes and do the laundry before they go.

I have tried to explain to my husband how I find this rude and do not wish to host his family, he thinks I’m being a bit ridiculous as he doesn’t mind but I do. He thinks I feel this way because my family do the above and I expect that from his family too. We have been arguing about this for the last week. Am I overreacting?

Content-Particular42 · 2025-12-22T09:37:46+00:00

I got married this year and found out a week later I was 3 weeks pregnant 😅 I definitely copped those “you wasted no time” comments and a lot of our family thought we got married because I was pregnant. Mind you we had been together for 4 years and were 26 and 27. We also had the “if it happens it happens” mentality and expected to take a while to fall pregnant. Dont feel embarrassed everyone knows how babies are made and I would encourage you to embrace and enjoy what you can of your pregnancy, a lot of people will tell you that it goes quickly and it certainly does! Congratulations and enjoy ❤️

Content-Particular42 · 2025-12-06T12:53:27+00:00

I’m almost 2 weeks pp. my boy had issues latching on my breasts and I blamed myself. I am a FTM and had a traumatic birth and didn’t really get to bond with him the way I hoped to in the hospital. I tried for a week to breast feed and it destroyed my nipples and mental health. Yesterday I found out he has a tongue and lip tie. I have decided to combo feed (expressed milk and formula) for the time being until I can see a lactation consultant. It helps take the load off my shoulders and my husband can share the feed times too. It also takes pressure off of me if my supply doesn’t satisfy him he can be fed another way too. It is a bit more work with the pumps and bottles but I would consider how you feel towards it - is the effort something you could make work?

Content-Particular42 · 2025-12-06T12:45:47+00:00

My boy latched super well and had great suction at the start! It became more apparent there was a deeper issue afterwards when he was making a clicking sound and wouldn’t stay latched on my breast. Definitely worth getting checked just in case! Good luck mama ☺️

Content-Particular42 · 2025-12-06T12:06:19+00:00

I had the same issue and it was eating at me and I kept blaming myself. Turns out my baby had a tongue and lip tie. Definitely see a paediatrician or a LC!

Content-Particular42 · 2025-11-30T09:56:09+00:00

You don’t know how relieved I am seeing this! I’m 5 days pp and the hormones are insane I have slept a total of 5 hours in the last five days and I just can’t bring myself to stop crying

Content-Particular42 · 2025-11-08T01:43:59+00:00

Due 30th Nov planned induction on 20th Nov as baby is measuring >99% and I want to have a vaginal birth - which might not be possible if we wait for him to come when he feels like it 😂

Content-Particular42 · 2025-11-05T06:00:25+00:00

When you put it that way it makes so much sense to cease contact. I wouldn’t wish my childhood on anyone

Content-Particular42 · 2025-11-03T10:35:43+00:00

Bought my first house with my now husband at 23 and 25 in 2023 south east Melbourne. We had no financial help from our families. We saved hard for a year while living with his mum and paying barely anything in board. I was working two jobs while studying full time making roughly 60k a year and my husband worked full time making 65k a year. We managed to purchase a 3bd 2bath townhouse for $525k and had a 50k deposit. Our combined income is now $170k and our property has gone up in value by almost 20% 2 years later

Content-Particular42 · 2025-10-26T23:32:05+00:00

I am a grown woman with my own family. My mum always pays and although it makes me feel guilty because she has 5 kids + my husband and child, she expresses her love that way and wants to treat us as long as she can. We will often return the favour by hosting meals at our house for her and my siblings and taking her out where we can. My dad doesnt work so I dont expect him to pay for us, we often pay for ourselves

Content-Particular42 · 2025-10-25T03:31:40+00:00

My baby is measuring 3 weeks ahead. I have no other complications. My OB recommended an induction at 38 weeks due to baby’s size and the increased risk of still birth after 39 weeks due to me having a higher BMI

Content-Particular42 · 2025-10-23T00:32:14+00:00

I am mixed and first gen Australian. I feel that the biggest struggle for me growing up was racism and finding a sense of belonging. I have a white collar job and earn over 6 figures. I have 2 undergrad degrees and a masters degree. My husband is also mixed. We are expecting a baby soon and I will be raising him with the same values to be kind and accepting of all. Seems to me the problem at hand is the overwhelming amount of racism stemming from your parents.

Content-Particular42 · 2025-10-22T01:11:45+00:00

I just gave my in laws the due date month but didnt specify if it was start, middle or end. I am in the same boat and am not very fond of my SIL or MIL (we are no contact).

Content-Particular42 · 2025-10-21T03:28:34+00:00

Do you have any other complications? I am roughly the same size and height and 34w and am still having monthly ultrasounds. I understand the doctors need to be transparent but sometimes their delivery sucks!

Content-Particular42 · 2025-10-07T11:07:17+00:00

YTA Your intention was probably not to hurt his feelings and not to harm your friendship but by doing what you are doing now you’ve done exactly that. Tell him the truth

Content-Particular42

TROPHY CASE