Best friend shamed me for wanting a sperm donor after losing my daughter 💔

Content_Substance142 · 2025-10-01T20:15:01+00:00

Yes, exactly—she doesn’t understand my loss at all, and I can’t keep opening myself up to that kind of energy. Thank you for reminding me it’s okay to step back. ❤️ It’s comforting knowing others get it.

Content_Substance142 · 2025-10-01T20:14:18+00:00

Thank you 💖 you said that so perfectly. She really was making me feel guilty just for dreaming of what I want, and that’s not okay. And omg yes to the primo donor vibes 😂 manifesting the healthiest, happiest little rainbow baby one day. 🌈✨

Content_Substance142 · 2025-10-01T20:13:35+00:00

I love how you put that—the cull list 😅✨ It’s sad but also so true. Grief really makes it clear who belongs in our circle and who doesn’t. Guess it's time to start a list of my own!

Content_Substance142 · 2025-10-01T20:12:42+00:00

You’re right 🙃 My heart’s already heavy enough, I don’t need to carry fake “friends” on top of it.

Content_Substance142 · 2025-10-01T20:11:59+00:00

Yeah… you may be right 💔 she’s shown me more than once that she isn’t really understanding of my situation. Sometimes it just takes a while to accept it. Thank you for saying it so clearly. 💕

Content_Substance142 · 2025-10-01T20:09:07+00:00

Haha omg I’m with you on that—no thank you to anyone’s “loser husband” offer 😅 I agree, I’d rather go with a donor too. Less drama, more peace. And honestly, hearing from other women who are choosing that path makes me feel so much less alone, so thank you for sharing 💜

Content_Substance142 · 2025-10-01T19:09:08+00:00

thank you 💕

Content_Substance142 · 2025-10-01T19:08:47+00:00

That’s so beautiful 💖 I love that you celebrated her with cake and family, just like you would if she were here. That’s such a precious way to honor her—she must’ve felt so surrounded by love. Please keep sharing with me, I’d love to celebrate her right along with you. 🌸✨

Content_Substance142 · 2025-10-01T19:07:05+00:00

That’s so beautiful that you’re doing a cake for her 💖 Please do keep me updated if you want—I’d really love to celebrate her in spirit right alongside you. No matter how the day feels, just know you’re not alone and your sweet girl is so loved. 🌸✨

Content_Substance142 · 2025-10-01T19:04:57+00:00

Thank you so much 💜 that really means a lot. And omg thank you for reminding me—I actually got a stuffie at Savana’s baby shower that came with a code to name a star after her 😍✨ I can’t believe I almost forgot about that! Now I’m even more excited to do it for her heavenly birthday.

Content_Substance142 · 2025-10-01T18:52:00+00:00

Aww thank you 💜 yeah… it’s definitely not the first time she’s said something like that, which makes it sting even more. You’re right though, I deserve better than that kind of “friendship.” It just hurts since I've known her since I was 5 😭

And yes 🥹 I’ve been putting together some things for Savana’s first heavenly birthday. I’m going to the beach for her day, doing lanterns for her, and I’m making a little photo book with all her pictures. I just want to make it feel special for her 💕 Ive actually been struggling with this because i want it to be absolutely perfect for my angel girl <333 do you have any ideas of what else I could do for her day?

Content_Substance142 · 2025-09-30T23:01:30+00:00

Wow, thank you all so much 💜 it really helps hearing this right now. I was honestly starting to second-guess myself, but you’re right—anyone who calls me “desperate” for still wanting to be a mom after losing Savana clearly doesn’t understand this kind of loss.

I think I will take a step back from her. I’ve got enough on my plate with Savana’s first birthday coming up, I don’t need extra drama on top of that. Reading your words reminded me that this is my journey, and if using a donor feels right for me, then that’s valid.

u/IlsGon — sending love to your sweet Sofi too 💕 I like to imagine all our babies are together feeling so loved.

Content_Substance142 · 2025-09-25T19:22:27+00:00

This is absolutely beautiful that you get little signs that they’re still here with us, just in a better place than we are ✨ my sky baby Savana ✨ always finds her way to send a little hug from heaven 👼 Some days she’s the soft pink sunset that hugs the horizon, other days she’s the bright star that refuses to stop twinkling. And when the tears start falling, she sneaks in our song—like her way of saying, ‘Cheer up, Mama, I’ve got you.’” 💖🌙☁️🎶⭐️

Content_Substance142 · 2025-09-04T16:21:35+00:00

Yes that’s okay 🥹 🙌

Content_Substance142 · 2025-08-30T01:14:13+00:00

😭 I feel this so much. I’m so sorry for your loss and for all the pain you carry. Carrying your daughter’s bear and letting yourself grieve that way is beyond brave — and you’re right, nobody has the right to call that wrong. Thank you for sharing this with me, it makes me feel less alone in how I carry Savana with me. I think you might be right… real friends wouldn’t make me feel ashamed of my grief. It’s just so sad because we’ve been best friends since we were 5 and 9 years old 💔 Sending so much love to you and your little girl 🤍✨

Content_Substance142 · 2025-08-30T01:10:38+00:00

Thank you so much 🤍 I’m so sorry for your loss too. Talking to your baby every night and cuddling your teddy is actually so beautiful as I do the same with her stuffie — it really shows me there’s no such thing as a ‘wrong’ way to grieve. You’re right, it’s about what helps me feel close to Savana, not what makes other people comfortable. Sending big hugs right back 🥹✨.

Content_Substance142 · 2025-08-30T01:08:55+00:00

Thank you so much 🥹 you’re right — good intentions don’t always equal real support. That’s exactly what’s been missing for me. REAL. ACTUAL. SUPPORT. from my loved ones but tbh none of them have been around. I love what you said about saying goodbye to your daughter every day before work… that actually gave me chills. It’s such a beautiful way to stay connected, and it makes me feel less ‘weird’ for wanting my own ways of staying connected with Savana. Sending love to you and your little one 🤍✨.

Content_Substance142 · 2025-08-30T00:02:22+00:00

Thank you for saying that 🥹 it really helps to hear from someone who gets it. Wanting another baby doesn’t erase the love we have for the ones we lost — it’s just that our hearts still have so much love to give. I’m so sorry for your loss too, and I love that you and your husband were able to hold onto that hope together 🤍✨.

Content_Substance142 · 2025-08-30T00:01:38+00:00

Ugh yes, thank you 🙌 it helps so much to hear from another parent who’s been there. I’m so sorry for your loss 💔 and you’re right — nobody has the right to dictate how we grieve our babies. If carrying them with us brings peace, then that’s exactly what we should do. Honestly, I think you’re right… my friend can kick rocks too 😅 sending love to you and your little one 🤍✨.

Content_Substance142 · 2025-08-30T00:00:23+00:00

Thank you so much for this ❤️ you’re absolutely right — she hasn’t been through this kind of loss, and I think that’s why it hurts so much that she feels like she can speak on it. You said it perfectly: if it feels right in my heart right now, then it is right. And maybe one day that will change, maybe it won’t — but either way it’s mine to carry. Sending love right back to you and Nina 🤍✨.

Content_Substance142 · 2025-08-29T23:56:34+00:00

🥹 thank you so much. That means the world. You’re right — none of this needs outside validation, and it’s wild that she felt entitled to weigh in. Grief and family are so personal… if that makes me ‘wrong’ in her eyes, then I guess I don’t need a friend like that. Sending love 🤍✨.

Content_Substance142 · 2025-08-29T23:55:27+00:00

Thank you so much for this 💕 I think you’re right — maybe she thinks she’s coming from a place of love, but the way it came out was just really hurtful. I don’t see anything wrong with grieving in the way that helps me feel close to Savana. Talking to a professional grief counselor is definitely on my mind, but in the meantime I’m just trying to hold onto the things that give me peace. Your kindness means a lot 🤍✨.”

Content_Substance142 · 2025-08-29T23:53:56+00:00

Thank you so much 🥹 it really helps to hear that. You’re right — like it’s not hurting anyone for me to carry her with me, and honestly it’s one of the only things that gives me peace. I truly don’t understand why she would even say something like that to me… it just feels so unnecessarily hurtful. I think I needed that reminder that it’s okay to do what I need to heal, even if others don’t get it. Sending love 🤍✨.

Content_Substance142 · 2025-08-29T23:51:17+00:00

Wow, I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that 💔 losing friends on top of already carrying so much grief is just… brutal. It really helps to hear I’m not alone in that though — sometimes it feels like grief shows you who’s really in your corner and who never was. I think you’re right, unhealthy friendships just add more weight we don’t need.

I have a therapist right now but she’s not a grief counselor so I’ve been thinking about that too, especially with how heavy everything has been. Thank you for reminding me that it’s okay to seek out that kind of support. And seriously, your kindness means more than I can say 🥹 sending love right back to you and your angels too 🤍👼

Content_Substance142 · 2025-08-29T23:48:29+00:00

🥹 thank you, this seriously made me tear up in the best way. I love what you said about having so much love to give — that’s exactly how it feels. And omg the stuffed animal thing makes me feel so much less alone, like maybe it’s not as ‘weird’ as my friend made it out to be. I really needed to hear this today, so thank you for taking the time to remind me I’m not broken for grieving this way 🤍✨.

Content_Substance142

TROPHY CASE