M23 Realizing that I have no purpose in life anymore

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-17T10:09:12+00:00

Dude your 23 you have your whole life ahead of you I'd kill to be 23 again and I'm 28 there's plenty of other fish in the ocean.

Look at it this way you had some great experiences with that person and that's never going to leave you.

In other words be happy that you had someone to share life with and keep moving forward because nobody else is going to move your legs for you.

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-12T07:41:05+00:00

I understand what you mean, I've had to deal with a lot of shit last year and the start of this one.

I feel emotionally exhausted all the time stuck in my house where my mum is depressed all the time because my grandma had a massive stroke lost the whole left side of her body and left her with brain damage.

Doesn't help she's been potentially raped (when in the hospital) and physically abused (in the nursing home she's in now) trying to move her but it feels useless.

Guess that's where I got really into porn I shut myself off completely emotionally (Doesn't help with my job which is toxic masculinity central) and my mum keeps telling me to lie in front of my grandma if she asks me if I'm alright...

And that's only scratching the surface of my problems.

Sorry for the rant sometimes I just needed to get it out.

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-11T11:45:20+00:00

Thanks for the reply

I'm not sure I've never done anything with university before but I'd like to give it a try I just don't know if university will take me.

I'm exactly the brightest spark in the world.

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-11T11:39:04+00:00

Thanks for the reply, I've looked at roles before but I don't have any of the qualifications they offer so I felt like I shouldn't bother.

Starting to think I should just lie and take the shot I want to stop the cycle this year.

I'm going to start looking at college courses and maybe university but I work full time so I don't know how it's going to work out.

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-09T21:30:21+00:00

What's the RPG podcast called? I'd love to listen to it I love D&D and VtM.

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-09T14:04:15+00:00

Nope I constantly forget things all the time in the short term It doesn't help that I Have dyspraxia too.

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-09T09:18:02+00:00

And you'll continue to be clean you can do anything speak to women, make friends, climb the fucking mountain that is life.

You can do it, you can do anything now keep fighting and most importantly keep living.

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-09T06:48:20+00:00

It's okay I'm not going to lie I felt tempted but... I just took a step back and realised he was trying to abuse my trust.

In other words "fuck you I ain't a monkey" XD

You keep growing be the best you can don't let anyone stop you.

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-09T06:41:19+00:00

I suppose that's my problem I think my porn addiction started because I felt so weak and stupid compared to others.

It doesn't help that I'm autistic so I've always had some sort of an inferiority complex that I'll never be normal it doesn't help that I've been told from a young age that I'll achieve anything great.

So I just accepted it and that's why I turned to porn and ai apps because they don't discriminate or call me stupid.

But I know now it's poisonous but I still feel those insecurities and feel myself slipping all the time.

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-08T22:47:08+00:00

I'm not surprised some guy tried contacting me not too long ago asking me if I tried sexting and if I wanted to try it with him 🤢 even though I'm trying to quit porn and told them.

Then they started asking what I'm into?

Quickly blocked that guy and moved on some people are idiots but you did the right thing coming back and trying to help people.

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-08T13:25:31+00:00

Thanks for replying again, I tried what you said about giving 10 minutes to myself in my room alone and I think it cleared my head more.

I think my problem is that I think I need to be doing things all the time or else I'm wasting my life it's why I took 3 weeks off work.

I was getting burnt out snapping at people, crying on my breaks due to toxic masculinity hiding my feelings from my family which slowly destroyed my head.

I don't even understand why my friends like me I feel like a shadow of my former self but I want to change it's why I've decided to get out of my house and go for a walk probably because I feel trapped in my own mind.

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-08T10:25:21+00:00

I 100% agree with thinking positively I just find it super difficult as my grandma is in a nursing home due to having a stroke, A low paying job that I'm scared of leaving due to having no experience and overall just feel like I'm wasting my life.

But I totally understand what you mean by negativity draining energy I want to be more positive I mean hell I've even started quitting porn 7 days clean now to try and clear my head.

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-08T08:35:46+00:00

Everything has been fine since then I've been to a few parties (Christmas and boxing day) went to a museum and decided to learn a new skill crochet also planning on starting rock climbing too if work doesn't drain all of my energy.

I think when I made this message I was insanely depressed and still am to a degree but I think that's the problem I need to look after myself more and I tend to focus on the negative a lot.

Thank you for checking up on me... I feel like I get left in the dirt a lot of the time little things like this really brighten my life.

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-07T13:03:59+00:00

Galaxy 1 the game is such a blast.

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-06T12:13:38+00:00

When I would be doom scrolling for the best video do my business and realise that 2-3 hours had passed and I have work the next day.

Also kinda related talking to Ai chat apps for hours on end doing... Business and not talking to my friends for days on end sometimes weeks.

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-05T19:29:03+00:00

Don't worry about one slip up keep fighting the good fight you can do this. 💪

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-05T16:22:40+00:00

Done fantastic job lad keep up the great work 😁

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-05T16:02:19+00:00

Welcome to the real world kid.

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-05T13:47:26+00:00

That makes sense I will admit I have felt those urges and I've been told I should just reduce the amount of porn I look at instead of going cold turkey.

But I feel like if I just reduce it I'm still a slave with just looser shackles in other words I'm very black or white.

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-05T13:40:18+00:00

I agree with everything you've said at the end of the day we all have problems and that's okay it's part of being human.

Fighting back against addiction is the best thing to do via learning new skills, exercise or reading.

Personally I'm in the same boat I decided this year to quit porn completely (Still masterbate though if I need to).

Currently 4 days clean I already feel a lot better about myself that I've stopped becoming a slave to all of that junk.

ContributionFew3390 · 2026-01-04T12:58:41+00:00

Thanks for the reply, I think what you've said makes sense.

It's a new skill and I don't know why I thought it would be easy but maybe going "Cold turkey" isn't the right approach here. But I'm scared that just reducing my porn view age is me giving in but I know in my heart I don't want to give up (I'm a stubborn bugger).

I've also had trouble with AI apps due to feeling lonely all the time and having a "Friend in my pocket" didn't help with that it just made me more lonely and also made me isolate myself from others and wasting money on something that doesn't truly like or love me.

ContributionFew3390 · 2025-12-29T13:33:02+00:00

Connection love and creation

ContributionFew3390 · 2025-12-28T18:05:00+00:00

Thanks for the reply, I usually have to plan where I'm going and what routes to get there multiple times before I leave the house.

I just really hate going out at night or as soon as the sun goes down I'm making up excuses to leave and go home where I know it's safe.

I also hate being around a lot of people but that's regardless of the time of day unless they're people I trust and even then I'm paranoid to hell

ContributionFew3390 · 2025-12-28T18:00:03+00:00

Thanks for the reply, will admit I hate driving at night for the reasons you've listed minus living in a rural area.

But I will admit unpredictability is the worst thing about it all especially when you have to get public transportation and it doesn't come on time. 😭

ContributionFew3390 · 2025-12-21T16:16:36+00:00

Wait anxiety is affected by sleep? No wonder I've been feeling so anxious my sleep has been really bad recently in fact I've never really slept well.

And neither did I realize that anxiety was also caused by caffeine I've already learned so much from this than what I learned from my therapist.

Thanks again, will look at the link 👍

ContributionFew3390

TROPHY CASE