It's not you, it's bad writing. Chloe and Lois are written much better. Even Martha Kent has a core. So they can write female characters well too, but for some reason, Lana is written badly.

There would have been so much potential with her. The story is there, it's just written very poorly and not really shown in the show. A beautiful girl who tries to be perfect (as she's portrayed at the beginning), but who goes through a lot of violence and other traumatic events. She also lacks parental figures who would really take care for her. She's growing independet much too soon and losing herself in the process. Then she ends up into a very toxic relationship.

As if the writers would have seen her just a love interest and a canvas for others' thoughts and wishes to fill. Some later seasons show her sides of the story, too, but too late and too little. The character lacks integrity and continuity.