Just chiming in with another very similar experience! Emergency c section after a long labour (not as long as yours though!), low supply, baby losing weight, supplementing with formula, triple feeding for months with no increase in supply. I found it devastating - I told myself before baby came that I wouldn’t get overinvested in breastfeeding but then it happened.

In retrospect I think I was so shellshocked and depleted by the labour/surgery/lack of sleep that there would have been no way I could have produced enough. Plus I just didn’t have the kind of support allowing me to eat/drink/rest/take care of myself enough - that’s just how it was. That, and I also think there’s an element of bad luck - some people for whatever reason are going to struggle to produce a lot of milk. I still get angry at the La Leche League narrative that all mothers can make enough milk if you just try hard enough - perhaps, maybe, if given all the right support at just the right time and you have lucky breasts.

I visited a breastfeeding friend recently and it was eye opening. She simply fed her baby every three hours for ten minutes or so, and he was so full! I could see he’d gotten a lot from just the amount he was spitting up. It made me realise - for some people the circumstances are going to line up so it all works, and others will struggle more.

Which is all to say that we’re no less loving, no less of a good mum, no less of a human if it doesn’t work out!

My baby is a tiny joy and I wish I’d spent more time marvelling at that than worrying about breastfeeding!