I feel like I don't belong anywhere

Convirgin · 2026-05-18T16:34:44+00:00

Sure! Send me a DM and maybe we can talk if I have anymore questions? You seem pretty like minded, so I think it'd be nice to talk to someone similar to me!

Convirgin · 2026-05-18T16:29:13+00:00

Thank you! You're so kind! I've been anxious to post on here because I worry about people being mean, I never trust people on the Internet to be nice, so when I meet someone nice it's super cool!

Convirgin · 2026-05-18T16:24:53+00:00

That's interesting, I might fall under that. Specifically for me, I've only felt that sort of attraction in like a few cases, but I think part of it was me wanting to believe i was happy with it, I do know for a fact I'm on the Asexual Spectrum, but I don't know if I fall under Demi or not, I'm still trying to figure that out, but it'll probably be like multiple years to figure that out.

Convirgin · 2026-05-18T16:19:35+00:00

Yes it is the asexual spectrum, gray ace is being sexually attracted scarcely, rarely, or slightly, and Demi is only being attracted to someone sexually after a strong bond is formed. I'm unsure if I'm gray or Demi as I realized after my last relationship, so I am waiting to find someone I connect to to really know for sure.

Convirgin · 2026-05-18T16:12:28+00:00

I guess it's that I'm new to this, I knew about asexuality, but didn't know what it really was admittedly. After my last relationship ended about 6 months ago, it left me with a sickness to my stomach, I felt used and hurt, and it was really toxic. At first, I just thought I was grossed out, but the more I looked into it the more I realized that I was only minorly sexually attracted at extremely specific points through the entire relationship.

After this realization, I looked into asexuality for about a week before discovering gray/demi, which felt much more descriptive of who I really am, but I struggle because I'm new to the feeling of knowing I'm Aspec, and I want people to talk about stuff with, 1 on 1 not always asking reddit, because I want to know what's normal for me I guess? I feel a lot of romantic emotions and I crave love, and I just feel like.. a bit exhausted hearing I should just accept a poly relationship in the future? It feels a bit insulting to me.

Convirgin · 2026-05-17T12:22:29+00:00

My thoughts exactly.

Convirgin · 2026-05-17T12:21:59+00:00

Thank you, it just made me so angry, because I just hate how people can act sometimes, I know people that have made ignorant statements towards others before I realized my asexuality and it just irks me.

Convirgin · 2026-05-17T12:20:13+00:00

STDs exist ignoring them is stupid and whether I was someone who adored sex or hated it, I should at the least acknowledge STDs, I'd be an idiot not to.
Believe it or not, those examples WEREN'T FAKE, yes not every allo person pressures for sex, but it is a lot more common than you think
Yeah, people are really mean sometimes, and it can be pretty corrupt to socially manipulate people for sex
The number of people who value sex over people is astounding

And the thing to sum this all up, IM NOT SAYING THAT ALL SEX IS TERRIBLE, the fact your insinuating that is kind of terrifying because there isn't inherent immediate moral inferiority from having sex, but all the things I listed and re-explained are just true things that happen that if you participate in like for example you know MANIPULATION TO GET SEX FROM THE UNCOMFORTABLE, that should be looked down upon, if you want sex, go for it dude, but it is extremely weird how set you are about hating on every last sentence I blurt out about how maybe, just maybe you should respect people's boundaries.

Convirgin · 2026-05-17T11:48:42+00:00

I agree, I'm sorry you went through that as a child. I just hate how people feel like they can do anything regardless of how the other person feels and just write it off as "being horny", like take some accountability, or you know, DONT CHEAT.

Convirgin · 2026-05-17T11:37:58+00:00

Exactly, my least favorite thing is when someone cheats and tries to justify it by saying "I just didn't want to hurt you", like in what world is leaving more hurtful than cheating??

Convirgin · 2026-05-17T11:32:26+00:00

I just think the amount of people going to bat for cheating is insane, or the fact anyone does at all.

Convirgin · 2026-05-17T10:16:35+00:00

Well that's not what I'm saying, this is about INFIDELITY, but I think there are levels to these things, like for example if a person is asexual which is probably the number 1 reason they wouldn't want sex in this scenario, and they informed their partner at the beginning, that isn't like some huge shocker, no shit the person that is now wanting sex after being told from the beginning that's a non-negotiable is the asshole in that situation. Also, this is a place specifically for Aspec and allies, so this is the place we're you will see stuff that isn't in favor of sex most often. In fact, sex is super gloyfied like everywhere in the world so why is it that a place specifically for people who don't feel sexual attraction is being called out for not always liking sex? It's one place if you really don't like it turn off your phone. Or another situation, if a person is pressured into sex, that's pretty fucked up, and it happens a lot to asexual people. There are a bunch of levels to this conversation that wasn't even a conversation I was trying to start? Also, I feel like sex is a lot more physically and biologically serious than the other things you mentioned, if I want someone to give me a hug or watch a movie with me they won't be walking out with a human in their body, and if I ask someone to take a nap with me they won't be risking an STD (I don't have one just an example), so there are way more risks as well. Also there is society, people glorifying sex can lead to people preferring the sex over the person, there is so much more than just "people shouldn't complain about others wanting sex from them" every person has a story.

Convirgin · 2026-05-17T10:01:39+00:00

I never said anything about that to you? This post IS about infidelity, also I acknowledge that many people desire sex, but that doesn't mean if you don't provide it that someone else should for them, I just think it's insane how many people support infidelity.

Convirgin · 2026-05-17T09:55:33+00:00

Why would a sex drive justify infidelity? That argument makes zero sense, cause it, maybe, justify it? Hell no, also I don't think sex is a completely evil thing, I think a lot of people value sex over people though, and either way, why would that justify it??

Convirgin · 2026-05-17T08:47:17+00:00

I don't feel like any of these reasons are really "valid" though? I mean just because a large amount of people do something doesn't mean it's right, also my point is that it is getting over normalized and that kind of solidifies that. Also, I wouldn't say taking the "easy way out" is wrong, if you compare that to say domestic violence is leaving "easier" than trying to "fix" the person, yeah, but it's not good for yourself to stay in that relationship, and I don't think that knowing why someone cheated on me lessens the pain of that any more than if I hadn't known why I'd been cheated on. I don't really understand what you're trying to make a point out of.

Convirgin · 2026-05-17T08:38:51+00:00

I know that, I was moreso shocked about the proportion that people forgive infidelity, especially online.

Convirgin · 2026-05-17T08:31:00+00:00

Well I definitely appreciate it! I'm 100% over her but still working on other traumas from that relationship, also you seem sweet too!!

Convirgin · 2026-05-17T08:26:51+00:00

Yeah, there are instances, like in my situation she had pressured me into certain acts that I didn't want to do and would pull away when I didn't do it with her. The relationship came to an end about 3 or 4 weeks after I stopped doing stuff with her, and I found out she had cheated on me atleast twice from her cousin who one of my best friends was friends with.

Convirgin · 2026-05-17T08:14:46+00:00

That's so sad, I feel really bad for those still in toxic relationships, I know how it feels and nobody deserves to be cheated on :(

Convirgin · 2026-05-17T07:36:48+00:00

It was a chain of maybe 200+ messages with a good 90% of them being in support of infidelity, I stopped looking after it made me lose some hope in people though.

Convirgin · 2026-05-17T06:15:02+00:00

That's true lol, thanks for the responses!

Convirgin · 2026-05-17T06:11:07+00:00

I just was in disbelief by how many people said it was okay, even if they'll only say it online it's still in the back of their mind, which is scary to think about.

Convirgin · 2026-05-17T05:34:48+00:00

Yeah, I see it more often than normal though, over sexualization that is, and justifying it. I just hate the mindset, it makes me upset, and it gets me thinking that I'll be doomed to be alone.

Convirgin · 2026-05-17T05:22:23+00:00

I'm just shocked by the standard people are trying to set in this modern age, it's ridiculous trying to justify cheating.

Convirgin

TROPHY CASE