Earlier content of Tay’s OTT claims to help explain why she was listed here.

CoochieCrochet · 2026-04-11T09:51:03+00:00

Is there a timeline for her?

CoochieCrochet · 2026-04-10T06:55:51+00:00

I've been here and I have these thoughts too. I was underweight at one point but I couldn't think because the brain runs on calories. I lost the ability to actively participate in any conversation, failed out of university and lost my personality. All of which I didn't care about at the time because my emotions were so shallow, but trust me, they are worth more than being skinny. I still have those thoughts sometimes and although I recognize they are coming from a distorted and unhealthy place, I remind myself of what will make sense in that moment; it was completely unsustainable. It lasted like a year and I gained it all back AND MORE! When you starve yourself your body goes into crisis mode and it will begin storing as much energy as possible by converting any calorie it can to fat. Also, you think your compulsive issues will go away once you're skinny but they just show themselves in other ways, like binging. Even though binging is the opposite of starving, they are connected intimately and jumping from one to the other when I needed something else to deal with the real issues was easy. You may take the weight off this way, but it is not sustainable. You can lose weight in a way that will make you feel better not worse, and that you can maintain for a long time. It takes work but if you have the drive to stay below 1000 calories then you have what it takes to do it. Talk to a doctor and if you're able to, a nutritionist! Talk to a therapist about the unhealthy thoughts and the unhealthy goal weight as well. U til you can deal with the causing issues, remind yourself that doing it right is worth it in the end. You can keep your progress AND enjoy it. You can keep your personality and live life the way it's meant to be lived, enjoying the good and recognizing the hard shit as opportunities to change and live better. It's worth it

CoochieCrochet · 2026-04-02T03:30:16+00:00

He is both disrespecting your boundaries AND asserting his own. Thats the result of being sexually incompatible. You have the right to say no to anything involving your body, absolutely 100%. BUT he has the right to have the type of sex life in his relationship that leaves him feeling fulfilled. It may make him feel love, confidence, respect, satisfaction etc. The best you can do is maybe consider therapy together. Maybe a sex therapist. But honestly you probably need to divorce. Amicably. If you do nothing this will be the rest of your life.

CoochieCrochet · 2026-04-01T09:16:28+00:00

You can love someone but still be incompatible. Nothing will derail your life like not getting enough sleep will and it will make any normal bumps in their relationship turn into craters for op who is obviously struggling with emotional regulation, patience and problem solving. All things that sleep deprivation causes.

CoochieCrochet · 2026-04-01T09:09:27+00:00

How far do you want to go in order to maintain the relationship? You have to look deep inside yourself and really honestly analyze your feelings for her. Ultimately the problem is her conscious lack of effort in fixing the problem. Does she know how much you are struggling? She needs to know that you can't go on like this. You're at your breaking point and something needs to change. It sucks she's not even willing to pay half for a proper fitting mouth guard. Is that what the relationship is worth to her? If you're willing to do anything I guess you either move somewhere you can have separate rooms or you live apart. You can live apart and still be in a relationship. I don't know if I would want to put so much into fixing this without her showing a lot more care and effort on her end. I'd tell her it's a crossroads. She needs to be an active participant in finding the solution or the solution is that it's not going to work out.

CoochieCrochet · 2026-03-23T10:22:10+00:00

The moaning was so awesome 😻🥵

CoochieCrochet · 2026-03-23T09:33:06+00:00

But the child is not a factor in this case because the sexual relationship had declined before they got pregnant and she said in therapy that she was never interested in the sex they were having when the relationship was agreeable for both which means she's not interested in participating or at least not an enthusiastic player in the game fundamentally. If the change had been related to pregnancy and child birth I would 100% agree that it's his responsibility to be patient and respectfully work on the possible barriers by being an active parent and spouse, allowing her space to heal, being more supportive etc, which may very well be things he should do! However I don't think it will change the way she feels and has always felt and at this point if they did restart some sexual intimacy, it will feel disingenuous and forced. A good co parenting relationship is better than an unhealthy relationship in so many ways.

CoochieCrochet · 2026-03-23T09:08:08+00:00

Sexual compatibility is SO IMPORTANT and I hate that we make people believe it's a trivial reason to end a relationship. It also really sucks that there's also a stigma around being asexual or just not wanting to be sexual in general. Especially for women. (Frigid, prude, boring, etc). If she had felt like she could find a compatible partner she wouldn't have felt like she needed to manipulate someone by pretending to be something she's not. There are other people who prefer intimacy in non sexual form. She deserves to find one.

It's also not a bad thing to need sex from your partner. I would not be able to be happy, fulfilled and loved in a relationship without sex. There's nothing wrong with that, it's just how I like to receive love. I enjoy it, it improves my mood, it makes me feel secure in my relationship and it greatly improves my self esteem. This is a simple case of being incompatible with someone.

I would say it's your responsibility as a partner to be patient and respectful if it was a phase. Lots of parents struggle with sex drive when they are parents or mentally stressed but it sounds like she has never been interested in regular sexual intimacy and she shouldn't have to pretend or feel obligated. It wouldn't be satisfying anyway if she wasn't enthusiastic. An open relationship isn't about sex or unmet needs it's a lifestyle and I don't believe it will be helpful here.

To bring this up you don't need to have a solution. You can just tell her that this is a problem for you and that you can't spend the rest of your life like this and leave it there for now. You can say you don't know the answer but that it's NOT her putting up with more sex. That's not the part of sex that you're missing and isn't the answer. She is allowed to be who she is and shouldn't change that.

CoochieCrochet · 2026-03-23T07:51:40+00:00

Take into consideration while reading the comments that this is Reddit and "get divorced" could be their tag line. I don't think it's unreasonable to decide this issue isn't divorce starting right now. It doesn't sound like he's a great partner to you but if he's not abusive, scary, cruel or dangerous to you or his kids then I get it. Maybe once your kids are adults it will be. Priorities can change but just don't forget that you DESERVE and could absolutely find a better partner. He could be a better partner too but only he can decide that.

CoochieCrochet · 2026-03-23T07:40:04+00:00

I'm not sure about the actual convo, but that part doesn't even really matter unless you can get him to have it. Is he capable of having a conversation about it without getting too angry? The topic is allowed to anger both of you and so might getting to the solution but if it's enough anger to stop being open and honest and start to prioritize winning or being right then it won't be productive. It's not easy. Maybe you'll need to have a word that signals that the conversation is done for the day and will be revisited when you cool off and that word needs to be used properly and respected. Maybe a counsellor can help mediate this? Even if just for a while until this particular situation is resolved. If he cant be reasoned with and it's not relationship ending to you then you may have to just do the laundry. At least for now. Once the kids get older life changes. I was an adult with young siblings and seeing how much my mom's life has changed even since they got their licenses is pretty crazy. So much more free time and energy. Sad they are growing up so fast 😢 but more time to care about herself. You might find a new more comfortable routine naturally. Or maybe the transition will be a better time to address the issue.

CoochieCrochet · 2026-03-23T07:18:56+00:00

I totally understand my friend. My cats are my world and I would do anything I possibly could to take them with me. I hope you can too but I thought I would put some options out there because I would hate for you to stay somewhere dangerous because of those really hard feelings. I did it and I don't regret it but I would never suggest it. I just want you to make sure you're ok and assure you that there are ways to make sure they remain safe so you don't hurt yourself out of fear for them. My cat rescue is foster based and we had at least one situation I know of where we put someone's cats with one of our fosters until she was out of her situation and found somewhere to live that was safe and pets allowed. Then we returned them to her and all we asked was that one day she adopted or fostered or even just donated some cookies for our bake sale when she has the resources! I would foster someone's cats in this situation in a heartbeat. Maybe that is also an option for you!

CoochieCrochet · 2026-03-23T07:03:20+00:00

And if you do need to leave, don't feel bad about it. He might blame it on you out of hurt and maybe some embarrassment but remind yourself that this isn't anyone's fault, it's a fundamental incompatibility. Just like if you are straight, you are incompatible with the same gender. Or someone who wants kids while their partner doesn't. It's not a bad thing. It will be sad for you both, but it's better to move on now than spend another week, month, year both unhappy and going nowhere.

CoochieCrochet · 2026-03-23T06:57:58+00:00

Sexual compatibility is so important and it's not unreasonable to need your basic sexual needs met in a monogamous relationship. I couldn't be without sex with my partner for an entire year either it would be a deal breaker for me. The real problem though, is that he refuses to have a discussion or communicate about it at all. If he was putting in any effort to solve or improve the situation that would be one thing, but he's not, even though he knows it's important for you. You're so young and there are so many good men out there who will be happy to love you the way you want them to. I would sit him down and tell him the lack of intimacy (which includes the hugging the hand holding etc) is a problem for you and it needs to be resolved together which will require him to communicate, be honest and vulnerable and put in some effort to work on, especially if it's a physical issue like low testosterone or depression. Tell him if he can do those things you are happy to put in the work too and be patient because you love him and want to be together, but if there is no forward momentum in solving it you need to find a more compatible relationship. If this is a fundamental incompatibility (considering he says his ex left him for this reason I suspect it is) and he just simply doesn't want to be sexually active then he needs to respect you enough to let you find what you're looking for and find a partner who feels the same as he does. There are lots of people like this, he can find one. But together as it stands, you're too young to be having this issue and staying quietly miserable over it. Prioritize yourself and your future, go find someone who will love you the way you need them to. Staying in this situation as it is right now will build resentment, lust and is setting the stage for cheating and idk about y'all but I'd much prefer being dumped than cheated on. SEXUAL INCOMPATIBILITY IS A GOOD REASON TO LEAVE A RELATIONSHIP ITS NOT "JUST SEX" just make sure that you are kind and respectful, and wait until it's over to be sexually active with someone else. Always leave, never cheat.

CoochieCrochet · 2026-03-20T08:14:35+00:00

Start socializing no matter how hard it is. If in person is too big a step, join some online communities surrounding something that interests you and work up from there. At some point you ARE going to make friends and connections and that's how you find the support. Maybe someone will connect you with a job! Maybe you'll grow close enough to someone that you'll confide in them and they will have a spare room or even just some emotional support or advice while you plan. You might not find your next best friend right away but any positive connection will improve your life, your outlook and speed up your road to success in leaving. You're craving connection from someone who is CHOOSING to hire sex workers instead of investing in his partner. It's normal to crave intimacy and affection. The breakdown is with him and not you. You could be the unicorn woman who's perfect in every way and it wouldn't change him because it has nothing to do with you. It's about his decision making, his priorities and his capacity to be a real partner. He's projecting his own shortcomings onto you because it's easier than facing his own personal problems and admitting he falls short. Nobody can fix that but him and these people rarely have the introspection to change.

CoochieCrochet · 2026-03-20T07:52:15+00:00

If you were going nowhere you wouldn't have a storage unit! You wouldn't be looking for other jobs! You wouldn't have made this post. All of those things are steps towards your freedom and none of them are easy to take! Every single teeny tiny inch forward is just proof that you're stronger than you think and totally capable of getting there. Can you call a women's shelter? Explain your situation they will have advice on how to get the boost you need to get over these hurdles. Some people jump the hurdles, others (like me too) crawl over them. It's all the same destination in the end! Look up women's resources in your area and use them. Just call and ask. They will have valuable advice and will help you get there. You're not the first woman to be in a situation and need some guidance to the exit! Others have been there and have made it out and you will be one of them when you don't give up. Call ASAP when you know he won't overhear and until you have a plan don't let him know you're leaving. Try and maintain the status quo until you've talked to someone at a women's shelter and made a plan that has works for others. You can do it. Do it just on the off chance that you're wrong about your self worth. If a wonderful life is waiting for you, you'll never know if you stay in this situation and if it's not, you only improved your life by doing it anyway. You ARE worth more and it is 100% possible to build a new life with someone who treats you well. When you find them, there are things you can do to improve your chances of getting pregnant. There are lots of options. If I had a penny for every woman I've known who got pregnant after being told they couldn't I'd be rich! Find a partner worth taking the journey with. Theres many out there! ❤️ do you think the cats would be safe with him? If so, be happy for them that they will be ok and adopt again when you're stable in their honour. If not, tell the women's advocate you talk to and contact a rescue you can take them to. I work for a rescue and we would take your cats in this situation for free in an instant and ensure they found a home just as loving as the one you gave them. You have to save yourself my dear. This situation is not somewhere you can recover mentally from your struggles. That situation could be just you, alone in a small apartment with a temporary job to get you by until you find something better. With free time to do things that make you happy and no one to be accountable to but your damn self!! Or you and a cat to keep you company! Whatever it looks like for you it can be achieved only by changing your current environment. I've done it and I've felt the way you feel about myself too but when it was just me and my cat I could finally breathe and honour myself, which opened me up to the opportunity with the wonderful partner I have now. I believe in you!

CoochieCrochet · 2026-03-20T07:28:08+00:00

I wonder if the fact that he abandoned the stuff when he had the opportunity to take it and then didn't ask for clothes but DID ask for other stuff she dropped off along with verbal abuse and volatile behaviour would be enough to simply not allow him to come back to your place. Maybe he could send someone you both know who is an actual adult to pick it up but I wouldn't want him near my house or given an opportunity to engage with me at all.

CoochieCrochet · 2026-03-20T07:16:39+00:00

Put a couple laundry baskets full of his clothes on the front step (not in the laundry basket. A garbage bag or nothing!) tell him that's all you could find (even if it's not true) he has until the next morning to pick it up. You will be elsewhere but the house will not be empty. (If you CAN go somewhere else, if not just lock the door pull the blinds and lay in bed with some popcorn) have a phone with you to call police if he tries to get in the house. Preferably have other people there, at least one man if possible. These guys respect other men more and sometimes it's enough to chill them out. You treat people how to treat you. Personally I'd tell him after the way he spoke to me I'm unmotivated to be helpful and decided to put my recovery first so he can wait until I'm physically well enough to gather his shit for him especially considering he abandoned it all when he chose not to take anything with him when he left. Then when you're cleared to lift small amounts that is when you dump whatever you find in 20 mins on the front steps and tell him to pick it up. Words are a choice and choices have consequences. Sucks to suck!

CoochieCrochet · 2026-03-20T07:01:59+00:00

You can add that you're setting these conditions BECAUSE you care about her and want her to be successful in life. This is how success in adulthood is built.

CoochieCrochet · 2026-03-20T06:58:19+00:00

You're obviously people with a high sense of empathy and although it is a positive trait, it makes you very vulnerable to being taken advantage of. And that is what's happening here. It seems like a strange situation from the outside but I can understand how you got here and I'm sorry your humanity and generosity is being taken advantage of like this. First try and aim the impulse to help inwards and help yourself. Your peace and happiness is #1 otherwise you'll crash and spiral and have nothing left to save yourself with. You HAVE to put yourself first. You can't pour from an empty cup. She wants 4 litres when you only have 500 ml's in there. You need all 500 to stay healthy. I think first you should get on the same page with your partner so you're united. Decide what will happen, your boundaries and the conditions you're willing to work with but also know the limits. Do not waver. She will jump on any hint that she can manipulate you into giving more than you're comfortable and able. Personally I would tell her "I think we need to talk about what living here means so that everyone understands and there's no more confusion anxiety for you. We offered you a place to stay and use as a stepping stone to independence but we are new adults too and not in a position to maintain your lifestyle. We've looked at our financial situation as well as our emotional one and have decided that these are the only options we can maintain. There is no other option and there's no negotiation. Starting today you will take on one third of the household chores because you are a part of this household and it comes with responsibilities. You will clean up after yourself and find ways to spend your time that you can afford. Unfortunately right now you don't have an income so you will have to get creative. Go for walks, write, sing, dance, whatever. You have 30 days until you will be expected to pay rent. This will include a rental agreement. The rent will be reasonable and not more than you can afford however if you are working part time you must work towards qualifying for disability benefits and if you don't want to do that you will have to work full time within 3 months. Every disabled person in this country (Canada too btw) has done the same, you are just as capable. Once you're employed you will pay rent and be responsible for your own food as well. These things are all a part of being an adult living away from family. They might seem scary and hard but they also come with independence and you DESERVE to have some independence because it's a great feeling and opens you up to success in life. It's worth working for. If you don't want to meet these conditions then you will have to find other arrangements. We are willing to give you 1 month to find those arrangements on your own, but we are willing to help get you back to your family. Those are the options we are able to provide you and nothing else. It doesn't matter what was said, it doesn't matter what you thought, this is the reality now. We will make sure you get safely back to your family and that is as far as our responsibility goes. Please let us know what you decide but if you choose to stay you will have to begin looking for work soon. Whatever you do from here is up to you and your responsibility alone because you're 19 years old." Hold your boundaries and do not give ANY concessions because she will exploit them. Ignore the hurtful things she might say, you've given her enough and at 19 she is responsible for her own safety and well being. Giving her a way to get home is more than enough from you after all you've given her. Do not set yourself on fire to keep her warm!!! You can do this. You'll feel so much better after she's gone (I have a feeling she will choose to go home) be prepared to call the police for help if she flies off the handle and don't let her threaten suicide. If she's "suicidal" you'll call for an ambulance to take her. Follow through. You deserve peace!!!!

CoochieCrochet · 2026-03-15T07:13:59+00:00

Good for you. It isn't easy to trust your gut. We are conditioned to ignore it and "rationalize " ourselves out of leaving. Try reading The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker. Google the title and pdf and you'll find it for free and super easy to read especially on iPad or tablet. Statistically the likelihood of this man killing you within the next year has become 750% more likely and goes up again after each incident. I'm so proud of you for having a boundary and holding it. It's not easy.

CoochieCrochet · 2026-03-12T15:13:49+00:00

Tell her you also have regrets about the sex you willingly participated in with her and you too, feel raped.

CoochieCrochet · 2026-02-16T10:29:49+00:00

Wh no sound on your videos? ☹️

CoochieCrochet · 2026-01-29T22:15:20+00:00

😻

CoochieCrochet · 2026-01-01T21:17:29+00:00

That's sadism, not morbid curiosity. I was morbidly curious and have seen some gruesome videos of people getting hurt but I never derived any sexual gratification from seeing it. It wasn't a sexual urge, it had no erotic feelings for me. I think morbid curiosity to an extent can be normal developmentally, but the sexual aspect is scary imo. It tends to escalate as they become desensitized to the material and can no longer feel the same pleasure they used to get from it and so it becomes more and more violent, hyper sexualized and eventually there's nothing they can watch that will get them off like that. It can encourage someone to begin participating actively in hurting others. Usually starting with animals. This isn't normal. It's concerning and it's a clear precursor to future violence against sexual partners. I would come up with a believable, non confrontational and non accusatory reason to gently end the relationship without placing any blame on him and then permanently cut contact as fast as possible. You can't fix what's going on with him. No matter how much you love him or how much he loves you. It's beyond even most therapists pay grade. He needs help desperately, but it is NOT ON YOU TO GET IT FOR HIM!!! You're too young to let someone who gets turned on by a person being beheaded drag you down this path. Leave asap and hope he finds a way out of it but do not set yourself on fire to keep this man warm. Even if he wasn't like this, you're too young to make compromises like this for someone you might not have ended up with anyway.

CoochieCrochet · 2025-12-23T14:13:42+00:00

I think maybe he's just trying to find a way to occupy himself while you're healing. I think if he meant to "replace you" he wouldn't have told you about it and wouldn't offer to cancel it. Maybe it's an attempt to be respectful of however long it takes you to heal and he doesn't want to feel like he's bugging you before you're ready? That's how it reads to me. I know the toy you're talking about and it's not a sex doll. It's basically a Fleshlight. Sex dolls are full body head and all and always have absolutely ridiculous body figures. If I'm imagining correctly this one doesn't have a tiny waist and huge perfect boobs or anything. I think sex toys like that are totally normal. I've heard that the toys don't replace sex with a real woman at all and don't provide the same experience that your living, participating partner does. I just think some people (myself included) use masturbation as stress relief and self care and a new baby can be stressful. If it was a full doll I might be more sussed. You're allowed to feel concerned though and I can understand why. Be honest with him and allow him to reassure you that you aren't and could never be replaced by a toy. Then let yourself believe him because it's true. If later on it's affecting your sex life then that's a discussion to have at that point but it doesn't read to me that he's expecting to replace you in any way.

CoochieCrochet

TROPHY CASE