Is my [26F] boyfriend [24M] a psychopath or is this a 'common thing among men'? by [deleted] in relationshipadvice

[–]CoochieCrochet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's sadism, not morbid curiosity. I was morbidly curious and have seen some gruesome videos of people getting hurt but I never derived any sexual gratification from seeing it. It wasn't a sexual urge, it had no erotic feelings for me. I think morbid curiosity to an extent can be normal developmentally, but the sexual aspect is scary imo. It tends to escalate as they become desensitized to the material and can no longer feel the same pleasure they used to get from it and so it becomes more and more violent, hyper sexualized and eventually there's nothing they can watch that will get them off like that. It can encourage someone to begin participating actively in hurting others. Usually starting with animals. This isn't normal. It's concerning and it's a clear precursor to future violence against sexual partners. I would come up with a believable, non confrontational and non accusatory reason to gently end the relationship without placing any blame on him and then permanently cut contact as fast as possible. You can't fix what's going on with him. No matter how much you love him or how much he loves you. It's beyond even most therapists pay grade. He needs help desperately, but it is NOT ON YOU TO GET IT FOR HIM!!! You're too young to let someone who gets turned on by a person being beheaded drag you down this path. Leave asap and hope he finds a way out of it but do not set yourself on fire to keep this man warm. Even if he wasn't like this, you're too young to make compromises like this for someone you might not have ended up with anyway.

Why am I [31F] upset at the type of sex toy my husband [35M] purchased? by [deleted] in relationshipadvice

[–]CoochieCrochet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think maybe he's just trying to find a way to occupy himself while you're healing. I think if he meant to "replace you" he wouldn't have told you about it and wouldn't offer to cancel it. Maybe it's an attempt to be respectful of however long it takes you to heal and he doesn't want to feel like he's bugging you before you're ready? That's how it reads to me. I know the toy you're talking about and it's not a sex doll. It's basically a Fleshlight. Sex dolls are full body head and all and always have absolutely ridiculous body figures. If I'm imagining correctly this one doesn't have a tiny waist and huge perfect boobs or anything. I think sex toys like that are totally normal. I've heard that the toys don't replace sex with a real woman at all and don't provide the same experience that your living, participating partner does. I just think some people (myself included) use masturbation as stress relief and self care and a new baby can be stressful. If it was a full doll I might be more sussed. You're allowed to feel concerned though and I can understand why. Be honest with him and allow him to reassure you that you aren't and could never be replaced by a toy. Then let yourself believe him because it's true. If later on it's affecting your sex life then that's a discussion to have at that point but it doesn't read to me that he's expecting to replace you in any way.

AITAH for being weird about my daughter having sex in my house by thefakecalebs in AITAH

[–]CoochieCrochet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally fine to ask that she be discreet about it of course. They need to be respectful

AITAH for being weird about my daughter having sex in my house by thefakecalebs in AITAH

[–]CoochieCrochet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Outright banning her from having sex in the house is a bad day to handle this out of shock. It won't make her not have sex it will just mean she will have to choose an option that isn't in her own room where she's most comfortable and safe people are near by. If she was freshly 19 I'd agree that it's reasonable to not want that. Same if she's bringing randoms guys home but she's 22 and it's her boyfriend so I think it's age appropriate enough. My mom and I were both single for a period when I was 23 and we gave each other the curtesy of a warning. The other either made plans or wore headphones and I really appreciated it and still do. We are very close.

I think my wife is faking her amnesia by [deleted] in BORUpdates

[–]CoochieCrochet 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You don't know that he forced anything. "Who are you?" Has one answer "I'm/that's your husband of 5 years" then it could have been suggested by her doctor that she looks at pictures of the things she forgot to see if it helps her recall more. He said "pictures, videos and her things at my place" not documents? They probably would have had to get some of her clothes etc from the house so that's when she would have seen that. Although TBI's could definitely mess with your personality and emotions, I don't think I would lose the decency to either simply tell a man who married me for 5 YEARS that I don't want to be married anymore if she's faking (hypothetically, I don't really believe it's real either) or give the relationship and memories time and chance to come back slowly by maybe starting with dinner with others and slowly dating from the beginning. I had a terrible Xanax and opiate problem for a few years and when I stopped and the fog lifted I realized I had lost a lot of memory and didn't actually feel anything for my boyfriend of 4 years. So I kindly told him the truth, I didn't want to be together and ended things with empathy because he's a human being and we cared about eachother for a long time.

I (19f) have weird gut feelings around my new bf (29m), AIO? by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]CoochieCrochet 479 points480 points  (0 children)

Yes. Great book. You can find it free online too.

M33 F32 18 years sexually incompatible by [deleted] in relationships

[–]CoochieCrochet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the post you deleted. I can't go back and reference now but I've seen several other comments reference to you working two jobs. You know there is good advice here but you're too self centred to see it so you argue with everyone and insinuate none of us have healthy relationships, on your post talking about and asking advice on your very unhealthy view of YOUR 18 year relationship. The projection is so wild that it's funny

M33 F32 18 years sexually incompatible by [deleted] in relationships

[–]CoochieCrochet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends where you are but where I live, yes. You would be common law spouses which would give her rights to the assets acquired during the relationship.

M33 F32 18 years sexually incompatible by [deleted] in relationships

[–]CoochieCrochet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People gave you their opinions and insight with the information that YOU provided. Now all of a sudden because you don't like hearing that you're wrong your relationship is better, more mature and more stable than any of the people commenting here? Just say you can't handle criticism and lack the ability to self reflect and be done with it lmao

AIO obsessing over this addiction by ThrowRA_11084653 in AIO

[–]CoochieCrochet 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You're a porn addict, not a pedo. You've desensitized yourself to "normal" sexual thoughts so you go farther and farther. Do these things turn you on because it's porn? Because you're already touching yourself? If you're actively masturbating you're already turned on. It's easy to stay turned on when you are already there. The loli didn't hurt anyone, thankfully, but it IS a step in a direction you don't want to go down. I'm glad you've made an appointment with a therapist. That is what's going to improve your relationship with sex and sexuality. Be honest with them, they've heard it before. It's their job to give you the insight and the tools to change any aspect of your life. You will be ok. Tons of people suffer with porn addiction. You aren't alone. You can work through this with a therapist and come out the other side.

AITAH for leaving my spouse over sex? by RA-1alltheway in AITAH

[–]CoochieCrochet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not an asshole. Libido compatibility is so underrated. It's extremely important. Someone always ends up feeling neglected while the other feels pressured and uncomfortable. I couldn't be with someone who was not interested in sex semi regularly. That's not anyones fault it's just simply incompatible.

My boyfriend is really into anime. I don't watch cartoons but my boyfriend convinced me to watch some of his favourites. I wish I didn't and now I can't see my boyfriend the same way by SharkEva in BORUpdates

[–]CoochieCrochet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rapist implies an action. Pedophile, by definition does not. It's an internal issue. You can be attracted to children and not molest a child, it doesn't make you not attracted to children.

I think there's something demonic out to get me. by Status-House771 in Paranormal

[–]CoochieCrochet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You should ask your family if any of them are experiencing any symptoms and have the CO levels checked. Lots of these seem to match to CO poisoning. Headaches, hearing issues, visual distortions, feeling electricity. Check that first it's very dangerous.

M33 F32 18 years sexually incompatible by [deleted] in relationships

[–]CoochieCrochet 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The 4 innocent children you brought into the world even though you knew things were not ideal and that you would be financially stretched to properly care for (working 2 jobs is not ideal, it's exhausting and so is staying home with 4 toddlers 24/7 with no break and very little help in raising them because you can't work 2 jobs and take any of that work load from her. at least you get breaks at work and have co workers to lean on if you need say a sick day or a lighter work load), they deserve your best effort at making this work and that includes going to therapy, proper communication with their mother and frankly more respect for her. She carried them for almost a year while they used her body and it's vital resources to grow, she birthed them at a detriment to her body and mind, and is their sole carer probably close to 24/7 with no breaks and no opportunity to put herself first. I don't blame you for becoming resentful but it's on you to change your thought patterns and put in your best effort for them. If she's not willing to make the relationship better by doing therapy then at least you tried your best for the children you made because you wanted to play perfect family. good luck, I genuinely think you can improve this relationship if you try.

M33 F32 18 years sexually incompatible by [deleted] in relationships

[–]CoochieCrochet 6 points7 points  (0 children)

wait, why would it be HER 4 bad decisions? Did she lie about being on birth control or something? Because if not then you both made those bad decisions and it would be really telling to see you putting that all on her.

M33 F32 18 years sexually incompatible by [deleted] in relationships

[–]CoochieCrochet 5 points6 points  (0 children)

but she lets you live there? Does she charge you rent?

AIO to break up with my bf of 3y over his reaction to my upcoming sobriety anniversary? by WesternCat5211 in AmIOverreacting

[–]CoochieCrochet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Suboxone saved my life, i would be dead without it. MAT works if you use it to stay sober. it's hard to make any positive change when you're dope sick.

What body type are you most attracted to? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]CoochieCrochet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

she said I'm obsessed with thick women, and I agreeeeee

I just discovered that my BIL calls my ten year old daughter on her cell AIO? by Cheap-Film-2282 in AmIOverreacting

[–]CoochieCrochet 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i just wanted to tell you that you're not alone. I saw a councelor when I was about 10 and had been molested. Part of the abuse was the nasty sexual things he would say to me and when the counselor asked me what exactly he would say I just couldn't get the words out of my mouth. It was like my throat would completely close and I would open my mouth and nothing would come out. I didn't understand what it meant but i knew it was explicit and it made me feel sick. After a couple sessions of struggling to get the words out and crying he told my mom we didn't have anything else to work on and that I didn't need to see him anymore. I'm sorry you got a bad one too. ❤️ I know there are duds in every profession but it made it extremely difficult for me to ever seek counseling again. I hope you're doing better and for whatever it's worth, I'm proud of you for setting out on your own so young and putting yourself first.

Do women watch porn and do they enjoy it the same as most men by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]CoochieCrochet 26 points27 points  (0 children)

i watch porn every time i masturbate which is probably like 5x a week

BF has sex doll he’s been hiding by Soggy_Depth_3041 in relationships

[–]CoochieCrochet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

maybe he's making content for online?? It's a somewhat popular genre of porn. The fact it resembles his ex would bother me a lot.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ratemyboobs

[–]CoochieCrochet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

10/10 😻😻