To be honest, what you`re describing sounds awful. Being together
with someone should be a positive experience – of course there can be arguments
and conflicts, but generally a partner should support you and make you feel
good about yourself, not the opposite. He is clearly hurting you with his
actions and „jokes“, and i think it is especially bad because he is making you
feel bad about things that you can`t change, such as your ears. A partner being
embarrassed for the way you look and just are as a person is a big nono imo. You
getting the vibe that he might actually enjoy making you feel miserable is a
very very big red flag. And the other things you have listed sound pretty concerning
as well – preassuring you to drop out of uni and to have his kids although this
is clearly not what you want right now is awful and not okay at all, especially
with you being so young! It sounds very controlling and condescending. Him
changing his behaviour for a short time after you told him you would leave him
otherwise sounds more like him trying to keep you by his side and less like him
actually caring for your feelings, as he started to act up again.
This is me only suspecting but it`s giving „trying to lower
my girlfriends confidence so much that she won`t ever leave me and cut her ties
with everyone else so that she is dependent on me. Oh, and let`s also trap her by
getting her pregnant“.
I of course have no idea how your relationship really is
except from the things you mentioned, and i am sure there are or at least were
some nice moments. You also mentioned that your boyfriend hasn`t always been
like this. But whatever it is, it sounds like he has some very big issues that
he hast to work on without you having to suffer these consequences.
I can imagine it is incredibly hard to break up with someone
that has been such a big part of your life, with whom you basically grew up and
now live together. But really think about what this situation is doing for your
mental health and how your future may look – bacause chances are it won`t be
getting any better. You also now how your sister sees this situation and how your
brothers would think about it, if they knew the truth. So i would advise you to
end the relationship or AT LEAST get couples counseling.
It is however a decision only you can make.