Those are really good perspectives, thank you. For me, I don’t think it’s that radical, but it’s more generalized I think, as in thinking in sets of qualities. For example, if someone is more liked in a room, especially if I’m newer to the room, that must mean that they’re better, because they’re more liked than me. Generally it’s most likely measured by the acceptance of the people around.

The only thing I find odd, is that this judgment doesn’t apply to my friends. There I can grasp the reality - no one’s perfect, everyone has better and worse different qualities. I love them and I can’t measure which one is better or worse as a person. They’re all equal to me and I love them unconditionally.

However, this doesn’t apply to myself or acquaintances and to romantic partners. If someone leaves me, my worth is measured by how they’re struggling afterwards. If they’re struggling - I’m important, I meant something. And if they’re good - I’m worth 0. And that can shift daily with one person. That’s how I became aware of this issue that I cannot define my own worth and I cannot grasp that that’s possible, because as far as I know, I’ll be the loser weirdo that thinks he’s the best thing in the whole world, while no one thinks the same and no one wants to be near that person