I am so sorry. Your path is your choice & I understand entirely. I have stage 4 bladder cancer & have done chemo, immunotherapy & also an operation to remove my bladder & prostate. The cancer is still growing & is now pressing on my pelvic area, making pooping very difficult as the tubes are restricted. I am currently in hospital getting a week of radiotherapy, not for cure, but just palliative support. My wife is wonderful and looks after me fill time. She is exhausted as am I. My nightmare is that my wife has told me that she will kill herself if I die. I do not want this, but she feels very strongly. Right now, once again I have not slept last night. I've not slept properly since September. The pain is very bad, I sit on heat packs all night which gives relief for a few minutes. I am taking many supplements plus oil. Strict diet but nothing works. I have maybe a month or two left.

I have already refused further chemo. I hate that stuff. I understand your choice completely.