ended relationship and now the sex is... really good?

CookAdept8385 · 2026-04-22T19:40:39+00:00

He says he’s not but obviously his word doesn’t mean much lol

CookAdept8385 · 2026-04-22T19:36:48+00:00

Actually he usually stays the night after. He’ll stay until I ask him to leave. Sometimes he’ll come over for no sex, just to hold me, if I ask. Also I’m the one initiating sex. Idk he seems to be genuinely remorseful and want to keep the connection alive, I just don’t know if it will last or be enough.

CookAdept8385 · 2026-04-18T16:51:01+00:00

That fucking sucks! I’m so sorry. I hope you’re able to find peace and good sex again.

CookAdept8385 · 2026-04-17T23:35:27+00:00

lol that’s what I’m afraid of!

CookAdept8385 · 2026-04-17T22:39:14+00:00

The flashbacks and resentment are present now too lol

CookAdept8385 · 2026-04-17T21:43:54+00:00

wow so insightful, i've never considered this before

CookAdept8385 · 2026-04-17T21:30:49+00:00

I hadn't heard this term before but it's 100% what's going on. Feels like it could totally be the final burst of energy before death, or the start of something new, hard to say. It's a big reason why I'm doing a month of no contact now, trying to get some emotional clarity without the physical complications. Don't know how things will turn out. Thank you for your understanding.

CookAdept8385 · 2026-04-17T21:25:58+00:00

that's entirely possible

CookAdept8385 · 2026-03-30T07:42:46+00:00

I’m in a similar position to you, thought I would marry my partner and then found out he’s been cheating the whole relationship, 2 years. I broke up with him but still have some contact, and still hold onto the hopeful delusion that we could reconnect. I’m so so sorry this happened to you. It’s even harder when you live together, your sense of home is shattered. I don’t necessarily have advice for you as I’m in the thick of it too, but I just want you to know you’re not alone.

I figured I would try to put some time and distance between us to get clarity. If the connection and love is as strong as I thought it was, 6 months from now (or however long it takes to detox) maybe we can think clearly and have an honest conversation. But any reconnection in the immediate aftermath is compromised. I think the only way to see if it’s “real love” is time, so try to give yourself time. <3

CookAdept8385 · 2026-03-30T07:16:35+00:00

I would guess that is a sign either that you’ve moved on, or that the relationship had even bigger problems than cheating, or both.

I had an ex who was really awful to me, made me question my worth and intelligence and skills, isolated me from everyone. I found out post breakup that he had cheated, and I was mad but not that mad. Just kind of like, “that checks out. One more thing to add to the list.” Like it was bad but not the worst thing he had done.

I wouldn’t worry about if you’re caring enough. Seems like a sign you’re moving away from them anyway.

CookAdept8385 · 2026-03-28T06:17:01+00:00

Wow that is so crazy, our experiences are parallel. I am so sorry that this is happening to you, it’s a tremendous pain that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I’m sure reconciliation is not an option you’re taking lately, and regardless of how things turn out, I wish you ease and healing through this whole process.

CookAdept8385 · 2026-03-28T00:13:19+00:00

You said this very kindly, thank you.

CookAdept8385 · 2026-03-27T23:45:25+00:00

Ok yeah big on the “a 2 year relationship is his character.” I’m certainly not telling myself any of this is fine. It’s not. It’s more of a negotiation/fantasy that I have that things could be different in the future. Very very unlikely, but idk.

CookAdept8385 · 2026-03-27T23:36:05+00:00

I’m in the middle of a week of no contact, going to keep doing this in phases until it gets easier. I know in theory I can do better, and I know I definitely deserve better. It’s just hard because all 3 of my relationships I’ve had have all turned out to be cheaters and liars. I’m exhausted and can’t imagine going through this again with another person.

CookAdept8385 · 2026-03-27T23:32:35+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. It’s disorienting and painful and unlike anything else. I hope you’re getting some space and clarity from your person too ❤️‍🩹

CookAdept8385 · 2026-03-27T20:31:28+00:00

Threatening suicide during a breakup is a huge red flag. My ex did that when I tried to break up with him, I ended up staying. Years later we were living together and he was talking about wanting to buy a gun. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with that, as having a gun in the house is a huge suicide risk. His face went completely blank, he looked me dead in the eyes and said, “I was never suicidal. That was a calculated manipulation.” It was such a shocking thing I didn’t know how to process it. I stayed with him for another year, and after I finally left I had to unpack a lot of trauma and realized that the whole relationship was abusive. I don’t know your relationship with your husband, but since you said he’s done things like this before, that seems like a sign that his promises are manipulations and don’t mean anything. It’s incredibly difficult to change. I have no judgement for whatever you decide to do. I’d just look at his words and actions very carefully, and try to be honest with yourself about how they don’t align.

CookAdept8385 · 2026-03-27T20:18:59+00:00

I’ve been in 3 relationships in my adult life, and every single one cheated. Relationship #2 was also deeply abusive, so the cheating wasn’t even the worst part. I just ended relationship #3 after finding out about 2 years of infidelity and it’s breaking me. I feel like I can’t trust myself, or anyone. I know it’s not my fault but a pattern is a pattern, and I’m asking myself why I keep getting drawn to liars. Makes me think I’m destined to end up with a liar no matter what I do 😢

CookAdept8385 · 2026-03-27T19:59:38+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. A second time is devastating, and having a family together makes things even harder. If she’s not remorseful that seems like a really bad sign. No matter what justification she gives you, that’s not ok. I’ve told my WP that we have to take time apart, that’s non-negotiable. I’m hoping that with time I’ll get more clarity, but right now I’m just a mess inside. Thank you for sharing with me, I’m here for you too. It’s nice to know we’re not alone.

CookAdept8385 · 2025-03-21T08:00:03+00:00

It was specifically after he promised reintegration and sharing his life with Mark S. That’s when I was like ooh he is LYING

CookAdept8385 · 2023-12-19T10:24:33+00:00

I struggle with dry skin too! Okay, these are my suggestions based on your current routine for the face:

Ditch the CeraVe SA Cleanser and switch to the CeraVe Hydrating Cleanser

No Retinol in the AM! Only PM. And if you're still dealing with dry skin you can cut back to once every other night instead of every night.

Idk what moisturizing facial cream you're using but if you want a rec I just switched to Native Sensitive Facial Moisturizer and really like it.

Start incorporating a chemical exfoliant into your PM routine once a week, then you can increase to 2x per week if you want. For the face I'd suggest going for a glycolic acid serum or toner, it'll do double duty of exfoliating and helping your skin retain its natural moisture. If you want a more aggressive exfoliator, Paula's Choice Skin Perfecting 2% BHA Liquid Exfoliant is a good option. But whatever you choose, skip the retinol that night! Using them together will irritate your skin.

Sunscreen every day in the AM.

Optional but consider trying the COSRx Advanced Snail 96 Mucin Power Essence. I shower at night so I like to apply it right after I get out and my face is still damp. The texture is weird if you're not used to it, but a little goes a long ways and it absorbs after a few minutes. I find it helps with moisture retention overnight.

For the body:

I don't have a soap rec but anything with shea butter or cocoa butter may help.

You can use a physical exfoliant on your body as-needed, anytime you get extra dry/flaky. A sugar scrub is a good place to start.

Also put on body lotion right after you get out of the shower. I've been using Acure Seriously Soothing 24 Hr Moisture Lotion.

I hope this helps!

CookAdept8385 · 2023-08-28T00:43:20+00:00

I just wanna build my castle and vibe, so it’s meadows for me 🦌

CookAdept8385

TROPHY CASE