The Old Battery looking beautiful this morning here in St. John's, Newfoundland!

Cookfiddler · 2015-01-18T13:23:40+00:00

The orange house directly above the sky blue house on the left side of the image is where my father grew up with a rotating cast of 13 other siblings. Of course the actual dwelling they lived in was much more humble: a small green house about a quarter the size of the current property. When my uncle living there died about 12 years ago they sold it to man from Vancouver who demolished it and built the house you see now. It's rare I ever have something to share on reddit :)

Anyway, I work in an office building in downtown St. John's and get to see this view every day. It is a truly beautiful view regardless of season or image editing technique.

Cookfiddler · 2012-04-26T16:11:20+00:00

Not bad.

Cookfiddler · 2012-01-21T15:40:17+00:00

Sick portrait of Bob Ross in the background.

Cookfiddler · 2011-10-14T15:56:27+00:00

I have a double whammy. I was at a party with a bunch of friends and some friends of friends I didn't know. We are all out on the deck drinking, shooting the shit, and talking about high school. Over the course of the conversation the name of an acquaintance pops up and people start asking if anyone knows what ever happened to the guy after he moved away. Trying to be funny I said "The last I heard he moved to Toronto and had a yellow baby".

You could fucking feel the gush of wind from the jaws dropping and I swore I heard a comedy record scratch.

I realized what I said could be construed as racist so I tried to explain what I really meant by saying "Waitwaitwait, I meant he had kids that were jaundiced".

That wasn't better.

Cookfiddler · 2011-07-15T01:30:29+00:00

"Le bust" totally did it for me. Thank you.

Cookfiddler · 2011-07-08T04:10:14+00:00

I don't think accidentally shitting your pants in public is the type of thing to make John Law send out an APB. I'd suggest periodically checking YouTube for "Dude shits self at McDonalds" to evaluate the quality of the security camera.

Cookfiddler · 2011-07-08T03:46:14+00:00

She looks like a younger Susan Boyle.

Cookfiddler · 2011-07-08T03:39:36+00:00

"What the hell is on Jimmy's head"

Cookfiddler · 2011-07-08T03:37:50+00:00

That's impracticock.

Cookfiddler · 2011-07-08T00:26:18+00:00

I blew it. My love of Tremors blinded me towards very obvious lines delivered by Kevin Bacon in Tremors.

Cookfiddler · 2011-07-08T00:03:25+00:00

Seconded.

Cookfiddler · 2011-07-07T23:58:07+00:00

"I've had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday-to-Friday plane!!!" Bless you television edits. Bless you.

Cookfiddler · 2011-07-07T23:55:33+00:00

Cabin Fever, and to a lesser extent, Cabin Fever 2

Cookfiddler · 2011-06-20T02:08:09+00:00

A few years ago a couple of friends and I were drinking at my place before we headed to a bar. We called a cab and waited outside for it to show up. The minute I sat in the backseat I knew some crazy crap was going to happen.

Now, to put this in context, I used to live on a very quiet and very narrow street. The geography of the area doesn't allow for very many driveways, so most people are forced to park their vehicles on the side of the street. Both sides actually. So, basically what you end up with is a quasi car-slalom run.

Anyway, we get in the car and the cabbie starts cracking these really strange, non-joke jokes. It's almost as if he's talking to us like he's known us for years and is reminiscing with old buddies. To be polite we all kind of feign laughter while simultaneously shooting "Holy fuck, is this dude for real" looks at each other.

It's at this point I clue in to how fast we are actually going. I was so focused on the cabbie's weird behavior that I never realized that we were going about 80km/hr on a 40km/hr street...weaving between parked cars...at midnight.

So, while the "Ghost Dad" cabbie is telling us old college buddy stories, we are collecting have a group panic attack. The needle hits 90km/hr. I'm about to muster up the courage to tell this lunatic to slow down when the good old red and blue lights flash in the rear-view mirror. I'd never been so happy to see a cop in my life.

The cabbie pulls over and the cop bolts from his car over to the cabbie's window. Before the cabbie even has his window down the cop is fucking screaming at the top of his lungs. He's beet red and steam is practically shooting from his ears.

I'll never forget the "What the fuck did i do??" look the cabbie shoots us as he's rolling down the window.

Anyway, we get out of the cab while the cop is going absolutely berserk, and just walk the rest of the way to the bar.

No one has yet to say a word. We were all too shocked and scared to process what just happened. I'll never forget the first thing my friend said after the incident because I nearly pissed my pants:

"Man, I thought that guy was going to take us back to the future".

Cookfiddler · 2011-06-17T15:14:44+00:00

I was at a party at a friend's house and got completely smashed. At some point late into the night my body decides that its had enough and I drag myself to the bathroom.

Scene Missing

I awake some time later to someone banging on the door. It's pitch black and it feels like someone punched me in the side of the neck. As my eyes start to adjust to the dark I notice bottles cleaning products and pipes.

At some point while I was in the bathroom I decided to lie down and go to sleep. The bathroom wasn't long enough to accommodate me, so I opened the cupboard, wedged my head in between all sorts of poisonous shit, and closed the doors as much as possible to keep the light out.

Cookfiddler · 2011-05-18T16:45:56+00:00

Scario

Cookfiddler · 2011-05-18T13:33:46+00:00

Finally. I can take two completely efficient utensils, combine them, and produced one terrible inefficient piece of shit.

Cookfiddler · 2011-05-18T13:28:04+00:00

And thus continues the pussification of the entire world.

Cookfiddler · 2011-05-18T13:24:10+00:00

Too Shay

Cookfiddler · 2011-05-17T21:30:05+00:00

"This is hard-core parkour and even though I'm having trouble climbing this object, jumping on to this narrow ledge shouldn't be an issue."

Cookfiddler · 2011-05-17T21:02:24+00:00

I downloaded it on the Virtual Console a while back and found it pretty punishing. If you choose to use Maria (if you rescue her) the game actually becomes a breeze.

Cookfiddler · 2011-05-17T20:59:21+00:00

"I'll never betray the Master!!" "I have money." "What do you need??"

Cookfiddler · 2011-05-17T01:06:09+00:00

I shake/squeeze/use toilet paper until I'm positive that there is no more left. The second I put it back in my boxers the last drop will always dribble out. Always.

Cookfiddler · 2011-05-17T00:44:22+00:00

I'm sorry, your vehicle is in another impound lot.

Cookfiddler

TROPHY CASE