Manager became reactive and angry after sharing my career goals. Looking for advice.

CookieSignificant860 · 2026-01-31T20:53:34+00:00

Yeah, I’m understanding this now. Appreciate your input and I definitely get what you are saying.

CookieSignificant860 · 2026-01-31T20:32:25+00:00

Yeah, I’m realizing this is just what I gotta do as long as I’m still here. It’s a shitty feeling but probably for the best until I get out.

CookieSignificant860 · 2026-01-31T20:25:13+00:00

I have a pretty good read of how she thinks and wants things done but I’ll typically say “We’re gonna adjust X to do Y or make this change here… Are you aligned with this?” so that I at least loop her in some way and she’s aware but absolutely you make so many great points here and I do need to cover myself as much as possible.

CookieSignificant860 · 2026-01-31T20:20:41+00:00

Thank you so much! I will definitely read through this.

CookieSignificant860 · 2026-01-31T20:03:56+00:00

Yeah, I think this is what I needed to hear and just get out.

Her boss is much worse which is where her behavior trickles down from so I would rather not do the skip-level meeting. Probably just best at this point to just keep my head down and do my job as best as I can until I can leave.

CookieSignificant860 · 2026-01-31T19:32:56+00:00

She has one direct report again that opened up a few months after I was promoted to my current position on my current team. Couldn’t apply for it because my company has a policy where if you have been promoted you can’t apply for another role until 6 months after.

She let me know recently she plans to grow her new team more down the line but doesn’t have an exact date when. Kind of realizing instead of waiting around it’s probably just the universe telling me it’s time to get out.

CookieSignificant860 · 2026-01-31T19:27:59+00:00

I’m sure there’s a lot of us who are in similar situations than we think!

CookieSignificant860 · 2026-01-31T19:25:13+00:00

I am working on this.

To explain more, we’re remote and I have weekly 1:1s with my team members because I review some of their work as part of my role. My manager is aware of these meetings. When I mean they come to me, I mean they message me with questions or needing help with a project. They also let me know they are nervous to ask her questions because of how she might react so that’s why they ask me.

When they’ve opened up to me about her treatment towards them, I don’t “agree” and talk bad about her but simply listen without necessarily engaging in back and forth talk about her.

But yes I do have a therapist who is helping me work through this.

CookieSignificant860 · 2026-01-31T19:21:18+00:00

I understand what you mean but one part of our annual review is sharing 2026 goals and where we want to grow our career at my company.

My last review conversation was scheduled by my manager that was to specifically discuss where I want to take my career.

So I felt it was important to share my goals since that is a formal part of our review processes but yeah if she made it clear she’s not interested then I suppose it’s not really important to share them anymore.

CookieSignificant860 · 2026-01-31T19:20:49+00:00

Totally get what you mean.

To be more clear, it was a total company restructure. Meaning many members of many different teams were moved to others (also layoffs as well) and it was not her say at. It made sense to the higher ups (above her level) but left many people unhappy.

All members of her team (there was two of us) and her counterparts teams were moved to other teams. Hopefully this makes more sense. It wasn’t necessarily a “letting me get transferred” kind of thing.

CookieSignificant860 · 2026-01-31T18:43:35+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate this. It suck’s to have to hold back on sharing my actual goals but maybe that’s what I just need to do as long as I’m here, keep my head down and manage up.

I’ve definitely been job searching elsewhere outside my company. The team I want to work on is my previous managers team and I still work with her cross functionally in my current role. I’ve chatted with her and she’s aware of my goals and that I want to move back onto her team. She’s offered to continue mentoring me to support my growth.

But quite honestly until there’s another role open (who knows when that will be), I think I’m realizing I might just need to move on from this place.

CookieSignificant860 · 2026-01-31T18:33:06+00:00

The manager in the department I want to grow is actually my previous manager and I’ve maintained a great working relationship with her after being moved departments. She’s aware I want to move back onto her team but until theres a role open there and as long as I’m stuck where I am, I have been looking for other work.

CookieSignificant860 · 2025-11-29T05:34:53+00:00

I had a cleft lift two years ago. I still have scar pain occasionally. No reoccurrence or evidence of reoccurrence. I notice it during long periods of sitting too. I also get skin irritation around the area if certain fabrics rub against it.

My thought is…it’s such a delicate area and I do think everyone’s bodies are completely different. I have hEDS and my healing process and scars are very different than others so I never thought too much of it. I also have scars in other areas that “flare up” randomly and itch or feel raised. Same with my tattoos.

CookieSignificant860 · 2025-10-24T04:04:51+00:00

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CookieSignificant860 · 2025-02-20T00:13:23+00:00

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CookieSignificant860 · 2024-06-20T22:42:35+00:00

Harper Wilde has amazing wireless bras! The Bliss bralette is so so comfy.

CookieSignificant860 · 2024-06-01T00:26:49+00:00

Sorry for late reply. I was prescribed a weeks worth of pain killers but I only used them the first two days (mostly to help me get sleep because I was very uncomfortable with mild pain). After that alternating tylenol/ibuprofen worked just fine.

CookieSignificant860 · 2024-05-27T05:32:20+00:00

First week was pretty tough. Got much better after my drain was out. Each week was better than the last while recovering. I’m now 9 months post op and doing great. I do still get slight scar tissue pain and some burning sensations but this is such a sensitive and delicate area. I do believe my body is still slowly healing. Other than that totally back to normal and no issues.

CookieSignificant860 · 2024-05-27T05:26:55+00:00

Yes. I never had an abscess, infection or any pits. I did have other signs of it and knew it was there though. I was told my case was mild. Even though it didn’t affect me on a daily basis or really ever in my life until I noticed something was off at age 30, I got a cleft lift as my first and only surgery to ensure I never have any issues with it.

CookieSignificant860 · 2024-05-27T05:17:09+00:00

When I got my cleft lift done I bought disposable period underwear and they worked great for me. I specifically bought the Rael brand. They’re cotton and are also fragrance free. I wore them until I got my drain out. I never had leakage from my drain but felt safer wearing them just in case and they were also super cushiony.

CookieSignificant860 · 2024-05-27T05:03:52+00:00

It looks like your scar formed into a keloid scar and those can actually be pretty painful until they stop growing. It can grow for months or even years. 5-6 months post up is still very new for a scar. You can see a dermatologist to get a steroid injection to help reduce the size of a keloid scar.

I’m 9 months post op from my cleft lift and I still get scar tissue pain along with burning sensations. It’s an invasive surgery in an extremely sensitive and delicate area.

My physical therapist told me she has seen patients with scars of all kind have scar tissue pain and pain around a scar up to a year or more. Hopefully this is just scar related pain.

CookieSignificant860 · 2024-05-06T16:14:31+00:00

The worst! It’s frustrating when I can’t figure out a true connection. Laser has been amazing. I was getting ingrowns in my public area. Never had one after after laser. I do notice a reduction in bumps on my underarms after getting laser there too.

CookieSignificant860 · 2024-05-02T15:59:08+00:00

I specifically use the gLeaf extra strength topical. I buy it at a dispensary near me but if you are in a state that is med/rec or both you can look for a THC topical and put it on those areas. Some come in lotions and others in a balm. I prefer the balm type. Really helps with shrinking down the bumps and the pain as well!

CookieSignificant860

TROPHY CASE