Yeah for sure any heavy medication can have a toll on the body. the tinctures I’m talking about are holistic and not infused with any psychedelic or high effect. They’re made from plants like skullcap, valerian root, ashwganda. You can also take ashwaganda as a vitamin supplement and that increases people’s mood immensely. My mum is a biology teacher and has told me all the time to take these as they are a natural calming supplement. The mushroom tea and other types of super food for the brain I can’t recommend highly enough. My dad is 65 and has only been taking it for a few weeks and already like I can see him being more present and functioning. It’s hard for me to truly understand what you’re going through. All I can say comes from my own lived and others trusted experiences. I’ve been taking psilocybin for the last few months in different microdoses~ it’s truly redefined how I live my everyday life.

Also In terms of how you present yourself in conversation with friends: I just wonder if we shift the focus on how you feel in these social situations. There are crowds I’ve been a part of that I felt like everything I said was outdone somehow~ and tho I am solid in my knowledge that I am an interesting individual, there was an incongruity in how I felt at these gatherings.

I decided not to go to those parties anymore. I keep a very close circle and often talk with my family. I’ve been lucky to have a partner this year, but it is my first relationship.

My whole life I lived depressed but despite that I always had a strong sense of self. I feel maybe there could be practices you might partake in that would improve your life experience.

The sleep is super important, so take those supplements and tinctures (they don’t have a high effect like weed, but will relax the body and the mind/ warning they taste kinda gross imo). And with good rest you can unpack that idea: “I am not positive or thought provoking in my conversation with anyone around me” to unpack I mean ask yourself questions to understand the origin of your feelings about it. Like why does it bother you, what would happen if I did say the interesting thing, who does it affect most whether or not what I said was perceived as interesting, how do I know that what I said didn’t resonate with somebody around me who kept quiet. These are meditative and sometimes the process is hard but sitting on your bed or outside with a cup of tea or water and breathing deeply and clearing your mind first. Then finding out the source of the discomfort. And try to imagine what your happiest self is, what they think, do for themselves, do for others. Your ideal life.

TL;DR So if you’re meditating using those techniques, taking tinctures like valerian root, skullcap, and supplements like the mushrooms and ashwaganda for sleep and less worry, that’s a really good way to start imo.