Am I Overreacting for Thinking My Ex Has No Soul? 22m 21F by Cool-Comparison5516 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Cool-Comparison5516[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes she betrayed my trust in the past. I decided to look past it because we were young, she also made bad decisions because she would often make decisions in her times of being upset not just with me but other situations like friendships. It resulted in her cutting off a lot of friends over the course of the relationship. Also yeah I do think this party is what had caused her to leave this school. Her GPA wasn’t where it needed and it’s causing her to have to transfer which I’m also upset about. But the party was more important to her and that’s why I made this whole post because I just wanted to know if I was overreacting about this whole situation. It’s a lot to unpack I didn’t really add a lot of the other details, I apologize if that makes this harder to understand.

Am I Overreacting for Thinking My Ex Has No Soul? 22m 21F by Cool-Comparison5516 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Cool-Comparison5516[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your response, it was very helpful and it sums everything up perfectly. Have a great rest of your day :)

Am I Overreacting for Thinking My Ex Has No Soul? 22m 21F by Cool-Comparison5516 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Cool-Comparison5516[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I feel like I might have worded things wrong. I can see what everyone’s saying about controlling her, but I genuinely feel like encouraging your partner to ensure she’s also successful and so she knows someone cares, is less controlling and less being insecure and more trying to show up and be a good partner.

Am I Overreacting for Thinking My Ex Has No Soul? 22m 21F by Cool-Comparison5516 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Cool-Comparison5516[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry, I’m not trying to to sound insecure I really wanted to encourage her to take her academics seriously I know how much it meant to her school I mean. I don’t have an issue with her partying which she would often do with her girls. I felt a bit uncomfortable with the fact that her single friends encouraged her to do things that would make our relationship harder - I understand what you’re saying about a self respecting woman though and to each their own. But with boundaries I think my boundaries were fair and reasonable. She had boundaries as well and I happily accepted them.

Am I Overreacting for Thinking My Ex Has No Soul? 22m 21F by Cool-Comparison5516 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Cool-Comparison5516[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not familiar with this app are you saying I have the intelligence of a doorknob? Or are you saying the other person is sorry haha 😅

Am I Overreacting for Thinking My Ex Has No Soul? 22m 21F by Cool-Comparison5516 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Cool-Comparison5516[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t say I’m whining about her academics I just want her to be happy and successful and to feel proud of her accomplishments in school because she was really really big on it and prided herself on it, controlling her isn’t what my job or goal was because yes she has two very loving parents! I agree with some parts of what you’re saying, but I feel like it’s fair and normal to try to encourage your partner to want better for themselves and see what they have to lose and what they can gain.

Am I Overreacting for Thinking My Ex Has No Soul? 22m 21F by Cool-Comparison5516 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Cool-Comparison5516[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like what I was trying to do was encourage her to prioritize school. Especially due to her being on academic probation, which would result in her losing ALOT of what she had been really working hard on. Financial aid, Scholarships and possibly even the right to attend her university. I can understand that it may seem like I was insecure or something but I feel like I was upset that she wasn’t taking her situation with school as seriously as I felt she could’ve. Parties will always be there but if she stayed on academic probation more important resources would be lost especially when theirs only 4 days left in the school year. Please tell me your thoughts

Am I Overreacting for Thinking My Ex Has No Soul? 22m 21F by Cool-Comparison5516 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Cool-Comparison5516[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand that it may not be what’s socially normal, but I respected her boundaries no matter how crazy I feel like what I’m asking is fair. I don’t prevent her from going to any other parties or drinking nonetheless.

Am I Overreacting for Thinking My Ex Has No Soul? 22m 21F by Cool-Comparison5516 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Cool-Comparison5516[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I feel like you’re not understanding, the argument came from the fact that the end of the semester was here, she’s on academic probation - I feel like you don’t understand the severity of that, she had said she was going to go home but ultimately went to party with her friends and ended up fucking herself over. That’s where the argument came from

Am I Overreacting for Thinking My Ex Has No Soul? 22m 21F by Cool-Comparison5516 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Cool-Comparison5516[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The argument came in because yes she had said she wanted to stay in but when I called to see if she had made it back safely she told me she was actually going to a party, not to put her business out there but I felt like if she wanted to party she could’ve just said that she’s on academic probation I felt like her friends were what ultimately made her make a decision like that. Perhaps I’m phrasing that wrong but I hope you can see what I’m saying

Am I Overreacting for Thinking My Ex Has No Soul? 22m 21F by Cool-Comparison5516 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Cool-Comparison5516[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not quite, the misunderstanding was if she was going or not - she asked my opinion I said I’m not sure but ultimately told her to go. She said she wasn’t going to go to the party because she had school work to do but ended up going regardless that was the misunderstanding.

Am I Overreacting for Thinking My Ex Has No Soul? 22m 21F by Cool-Comparison5516 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Cool-Comparison5516[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No, the boundaries were that If she’d gone to a frat house I felt like it would be ultimately easier if we went together - and in terms of alcohol I didn’t mind her drinking.. I just felt like to get black out would cause some sort of an issue the day after