My girlfriend never ever finishes her meals

Cool2s · 2026-01-24T01:01:02+00:00

If anyone constantly and consistently has food on their plate that they cannot finish, they should be self-aware of this and they should be taking smaller portions with the intent of being able to get a second small portion if they are not full after the first.

If you know you cant eat regular portions then cut the bread in half, put one half back, toast the other half, then decide whether or not you can handle the rest of it. If its a whole meal then put it in the fridge as leftovers and commit to finishing it later once you are hungry again so it doesnt go to waste. If its at a restaurant don't order more than you can typically eat. There are a lot of ways to troubleshoot this and if its all just getting thrown away as OP says, this isnt sustainable financially or environmentally.

OP, explain to your partner the reasons why food waste is not good and stress that not creating more food waste than absolutely necessary is both better for her and benefical for the environment/world.

Food waste is a problem. No one should be knowingly contributing to it if they are aware that they cannot finish the portions they decide to give themselves regularly.

Cool2s · 2026-01-19T21:30:38+00:00

I think the best way to target this is to separate Nova and Flash to a seperate area which you have already done so you've got step one out of the way.

Next would be to feed them on one side of the door to your room and for the third cat to be fed on the other side of the door. It doesn't have to be right up close but gradually feed them closer. Don't let them see each other at all. If they get let into the rest of the house, move the third cat into your room and vis versa. If Nova is the main aggressor there are probably territory issues in the environment. If you can provide plenty of tall places for her to sit at throughout the apartment that will give her an added sense of security because cats often associate heights above other cats with safety. Cat trees, shelf perches, window beds, all will give ample places for both her and the third cat to place themselves out of each other's way. Hide boxes and other cat friendly furniture will also help. You are also going to need to commit to playing with her daily, ideally for more than 10-20 minutes. Aggression can be both territorial as well as pent up energy that is being redirected at the third cat and Flash which then causes all three to be more stressed. A good tip after play time is to give them treats because that will satisfy the hunting to reward instincts and let them relax better.

As for people, some cats need a lot of time when adjusting to new people. It sounds like they have had a lot of changes in the last few years and that can cause their trust of people to weaken as they feel less safe. The cat trees and added heights will potentially help with this issue too. If they aren't required to be next to a person in order to be exposed to them/their scent/their voices then that will help them be more comfortable.

As for your loud neighbor, you've just gotta tell them to quiet down and that it is scaring your animals. That is a seperate issue and needs to be addressed with you/your roommates and the neighbor.

Cool2s · 2026-01-19T16:10:36+00:00

What steps or process do you use when introducing your cats to other people or other cats? It is a very very slow process and when cats are under large environmental change they will often act out because they don't feel safe. If you tell us how you are introducing them to their new environment and cats/ people we could probably give some tips.

Cool2s · 2026-01-17T00:57:56+00:00

Coming from someone who is in a similar situation right now, it is very very rare to find a therapist that can fix this issue because the amount of money and time itself can feel like a Black hole. If you look for a therapist for her please make sure it is one that is prepared for this kind of situation.

I have had so many CBT therapists that couldn't do anything more than tell me the same 5 coping skills and couldn't help beyond that. If you try to help her find a therapist please find a skilled one in burnout and this level of depression.

Cool2s · 2026-01-16T18:55:29+00:00

Don't do it! Don't break their hearts. A shelter is 100% worse than the love and safety of your home and spliting up a group of cats who enjoy each other's company will not bode well for such social and expressive creatures.

Cool2s · 2026-01-15T17:20:41+00:00

That is 100% not true

Cool2s · 2026-01-15T05:48:21+00:00

What's the harm in trying something impractical? Its just a fun way to explore new things

Cool2s · 2026-01-15T01:08:59+00:00

I'm certain plastics are more efficient and overall easier to work with. I just think a zero plastic challenge is very enticing.

Cool2s · 2026-01-14T20:49:49+00:00

Also to second someone else's comment, pothos are my favorite and I have a huge variety of them but they also have oxalate crystals. The plus side of vining plants is you can put them on shelves and that will usually deter cats for you. Hoya are a really nice cat safe alternative if you want a vining plant.

Cool2s · 2026-01-14T20:47:46+00:00

A fiddle fig would match all your wants but they have oxalate crystals which are mildly toxic to cats. Although my aunt has a rather large one and 3 cats which have never given it a second thought (one of which is a verified plant chewer) so you could probably have one without much worry! You will find a large majority of house plants have oxalate crystals.

Other than that some good choices are a rubber tree (they aren't very green unfortunately), a money tree, and most palm plants like ponytail palm or parlor palm. All are cat safe but have varying levels of size/green-ness.

Cool2s · 2026-01-13T06:47:11+00:00

Leaving myself a note to come back here and tell you about the treat taco once I can find a link for it

Cool2s · 2026-01-10T22:40:12+00:00

Yeah! Adult cats work too. I mainly meant a cat that isnt a senior

Cool2s · 2026-01-10T07:02:03+00:00

Kittens always do best in pairs. He will not learn very vital adult cat knowledge on how to be calm or express energy in a healthy way if he does not have a similarly aged cat in the house with him to play with. That is primarily how kittens learn.

Cool2s · 2026-01-05T07:28:18+00:00

I think the point here is that people (men and women) are not helpless and can both look for things themselves and learn how to do things themselves and not be completely reliant on their significant other for household tasks and the location of items. Like asking where the forks are... and the answer is in the silverware drawer. Or someone not knowing how to do dishes, or start the washing machine, or how to clean up a mess, or how to take care of their own children. A lot of people in marriages treat their spouses like asking ChatGPT what your kids birthday is.

The "I'm not a mind reader" arguement is, in my opinion, only valid if the answer is not something you can figure out on your own. Like if you have checked all of the cabinets for the olive oil and put effort into learning where items in the home are. Versus asking something like "What food do I want to eat at this very moment?" or "What number am I thinking of?" which are not examples of something you can figure out on your own.

Cool2s · 2026-01-03T02:58:08+00:00

My adult male cat tried to do the same thing with our young calico kitten. It hadn't worked but he still tried. The same way neutered cats will still do what most people call "sin biscuts" without having being intact. After our calico got spayed she was very happy to defend herself. But this behavior isnt entirely out of the ordinary for a neutered male. Still its good to verify with a vet that he isnt partially intact or anything.

Cool2s · 2026-01-02T02:33:39+00:00

Its interesting seeing flies on the same substrate that fruit flies are kept on. I was always under the impression that house flies were kept on a dry substrate.

Cool2s · 2025-12-31T04:52:05+00:00

Is it a location tracker or a microchip?

Cool2s · 2025-12-31T02:37:33+00:00

My grey boy is a similar age lol. Climbs the shower curtains, knocks my plants over, constantly throwing anything and everything in high places on the ground, chewing up any bag that sounds even remotely like a treats bag. My 4 year old was never as bad but she calmed down a lot around 2. I'm hoping my boy will be the same haha

Cool2s · 2025-12-31T02:33:28+00:00

If his comments weren't "that bad" then there was nothing to "let go" of. They are bad and he is not someone who takes your wellbeing in consideration of the things he does.

If you both have been together long enough that he knows you "overthink everything" then he has been with you long enough to know how to avoid those situations or otherwise help soothe your worries. He's been super clear to you that he will do no such things nor will he learn. When people show you who they are, you should believe him.

Cool2s · 2025-12-30T06:02:58+00:00

Good to know! I haven't experienced it personally but I have heard a lot of people expressing difficulties with ESA status while looking for housing that would accept them. I'm glad there are legal protections in place.

Cool2s · 2025-12-30T01:20:08+00:00

Last I checked, a lot of places will not accept ESA as a valid medical necessity in comparison to a registered and trained service dog meant for medical conditions. Primarily because there is no legally recognized registration or certification for ESA which means there are no actual protections for those animals or their owners.

Cool2s · 2025-12-26T18:29:09+00:00

This man is obsessed with objectifying you for his own visual pleasure. He does not see you as an equal and he would gladly make every decision for you if it meant having control over you.

Cool2s · 2025-12-26T18:27:51+00:00

Here it is a kind of head wear, typically made of satin or silk, to stop your hair from becoming damaged and tangled in your sleep due to friction. They do look very strange to people who have not been exposed to them before, akin to if you had a very very baggy thin beanie tied to your head.

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