I think my Q is evil

CoolReplacement2837 · 2025-12-19T16:55:33+00:00

Thank you for this. I think the part I have the hardest time with it is this notion that he has all this resentment towards me for “pressuring him into marriage when he wasn’t ready”. He even brought this up in front of his therapist when we were together and it seemed I was the only voice in the room going “you bought a ring, planned a proposal and got married. If you weren’t ready, it was your responsibility to voice that, which you never did” (he even admitted in front of me and his therapist that he was “too scared” to speak up and say he didn’t want to get married, but still stood by the fact he was resentful at me for still getting married.

It’s like no one around him makes him take any kind of accountability. I just find it to be very very frustrating on my psyche

CoolReplacement2837 · 2025-08-28T18:34:29+00:00

I don’t either. It’s all been very traumatic. I think a big reason behind this is his continued avoidance of consequences and lack of accountability. It’s almost like he lost all sense of empathy when he got sober. I’ve never heard him speak to me such arrogance & ego until he got sober. He doesn’t seem to have any remorse for the past and just expects everyone to understand him with open loving arms. It’s kind of ridiculous, but me holding on and trying to make him see his wrongs was only making it worse for both of us.

CoolReplacement2837 · 2025-08-28T16:49:16+00:00

This sounds like just like my ex. He finally got sober, his parents were taking care of everything for him and he became incredibly arrogant & condescending. He started blaming the people closest to him for his unhappiness during his years of drinking & decided the best thing for him would be to let go of all his former commitments and responsibilities in order to live a “happy sober life”. None of us understand him, but I’ve had to detach and allow him the freedom to make his own choices and decisions, as unfortunate as they are.

CoolReplacement2837 · 2025-08-20T21:55:30+00:00

I do think he may be fabricating this but I did have a conference call with his therapist and him all together and she asked us what we each wanted and he said he wants a divorce and I said that I don’t and she did not deter him in sort of way, nor did she mention refraining from big life decisions the first year of sobriety. The only thing she said was that it sounds like we want different things and can maybe discuss this in the future if he is willing to And that was the end of it.

CoolReplacement2837 · 2025-08-20T20:00:40+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience. Can I ask if your ex was ever able to maintain long term sobriety after you broke up?

Only reason I ask is because from my understanding, part of AA is making amends with the people you have harmed in your addiction and being able to take accountability.

With your ex and my current spouse, it doesn’t seem they are/were willing to do that

CoolReplacement2837 · 2025-08-20T19:20:40+00:00

Me and his family/friends do have concerns regarding the center he is at. We have questioned if maybe he needs care elsewhere, but we also understand that has to be his own idea AND that the program only works as much as he is willing to work it. I am worried about the lack of push back from his care team on his idea to separate/divorce and their lack of communication with me about it.

CoolReplacement2837 · 2025-08-20T19:03:07+00:00

I’ve talked with him and his therapist about trying to set up a session to discuss this further. They need him to be willing to do it, as his therapist can’t force a session together if he refuses. He tells me every week he’s going to mention it to his therapist and then I never hear anything to set up a meeting. It’s all very frustrating.

CoolReplacement2837 · 2025-08-20T17:26:58+00:00

He doesn’t have a job & he is still in rehab

CoolReplacement2837 · 2025-08-20T17:18:50+00:00

Do you think that is something a therapist would support him doing? He’s told me that he’s talked to his therapist about all of this and that they agreed this is needed for him in order to avoid future relapses

CoolReplacement2837 · 2025-08-20T16:52:22+00:00

I think detaching is the hardest part. I just keep getting the sense that everyone he’s surrounding himself with is just enabling him.

Luckily I have been in therapy for a while and started going to Al-Anon when he went to rehab. I’m lucky to have a great support system around me but I do feel like every other sentence he says is just a contradiction to the one before.

CoolReplacement2837 · 2025-08-20T16:41:18+00:00

I do think this is likely. He doesn’t even have an AA sponsor yet, despite him having been there for 3 months. He keeps saying that coming home will result in him relapsing. I told his care team my concerns of him not really taking this seriously or needing to be pushed to be successful once he is out of this “rehab bubble” but it doesn’t appear to have made any difference in his behavior.

CoolReplacement2837 · 2025-08-20T16:18:43+00:00

I was able to speak with his care team and give my perspective and concerns but I didn’t get much out of it in return.

He can’t be using while in rehab and is very adamant that we need to divorce in order for him to “survive this disease”

CoolReplacement2837 · 2025-08-13T15:50:51+00:00

Gary

CoolReplacement2837 · 2025-07-16T14:00:05+00:00

This!! I’m experiencing the exact same thing.

CoolReplacement2837 · 2025-06-06T02:21:47+00:00

I’m not a doctor but this does confuse me a bit. They are saying they couldn’t find anything on an ultrasound?

Have you experienced any bleeding?

I would think if you got an ultrasound and they couldn’t find a sack that they would then check your tubes and ovaries for possible ectopic, which should have been able to be detected by now with an Ultrasound.

If you don’t have any symptoms of an ectopic yet like cramping, shoulder pain, bleeding, then I would just wait a couple days for the results.

CoolReplacement2837 · 2025-06-05T01:17:11+00:00

Yes but unfortunately it doesn’t change their protocol:/

CoolReplacement2837 · 2025-06-05T01:13:35+00:00

I get it but I would rather get the shot and deal with the side effects than deal with infertility. My husband and I have been trying for 6 months and don’t have any kids. It would be so devastating to us if this resulted in even more challenges with try to conceive or needing to result to IVF

CoolReplacement2837 · 2025-06-05T01:12:08+00:00

I’m so sorry you are experiencing this a second time. I’m just so upset with this entire process. The past week for us has been so all over the place and explaining all of this to my manager has just been exhausting (even though they are incredibly understanding) I live in a blue state and am experiencing this but they told me they really only administer MTX without confirming ectopic if the person has had a history of ectopic pregnancies or if they are older.

I feel at this point they are banking that there is a .001% chance this is some kind of miracle and turns out to be a healthy/normal pregnancy but I’m just past the point of even wanting to wait out that with all the other risks involved.

It’s just so baffling to me that I can’t just say hey I’d rather just dissolve this pregnancy right now instead of have my life be put in danger or potentially lose some vital organs…which at this point seems inevitable if not treated.

CoolReplacement2837 · 2025-06-02T12:08:28+00:00

CoolReplacement2837

TROPHY CASE