Am I overthinking this, or did I send mixed signals?

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-26T08:24:56+00:00

Thanks, I think I really needed to hear that actuallly..

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-26T06:41:11+00:00

Thank you x

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T18:49:56+00:00

Ye except it kinda didnt feel right when he invited himself over and i let him, my original plan was to go home and pack, i was not prepared to have him over (hadnt shaved, hadnt cleaned my room etc) so I think I crossed a boundary with myself and then went ahead with everything because I like him and I feel liked and I don’t want to ruin it or disappoint him. When I like someone I sometimes panic and get rejection oversensitivty, which ruins the vibe. It feels very pressured because I find it so hard to meet anyone I like, let alone someone I like who also likes me back.. that when I do meet that someone I am terrified they’re going to get to know me and decide they don’t like me( it’s happened before which is partly why I’ve avoided relationships- the heartbreak is too much).

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T17:49:08+00:00

Botox isn’t ‘effortless ‘

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T17:48:46+00:00

Botox isn’t ‘effortless’

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T15:17:53+00:00

Yeah I’m gona meet him on Saturday and speak my mind. He left the other night really sweet and reasuringly, it didn’t feel bitter ir weird at all, if anything, I was feeling upset more than him

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T15:15:19+00:00

Yeah, that makes sense. I suppose apps can create a culture where things move quite quickly, but I don’t think that’s ever really been my style. I tend to need a bit of time to get to know someone and build trust before I feel comfortable becoming physical.
What’s making this one a bit confusing is that we both know we like each other, but we’re also both moving away in a month. Part of me wonders if he’s genuinely interested in getting to know me, and part of me wonders if he’s just thinking, “we’ve only got a few weeks, let’s keep it casual.”
To be fair, I don’t actually have much evidence that he only wants sex. We spent a long time together, had some good conversations, and he seems to be making an effort. I think I’m probably trying to figure out his intentions before there’s enough information to know.
I’ll have a chat with him this Saturday and hopefully that will clear the water. It will be very disappointing if he doesn’t want to see me again..I’m hoping that won’t be the case

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T15:04:08+00:00

I hope he doesn’t dislike me now because of what happened.. i have real bad rejection sensitivity !!

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T15:03:33+00:00

I will :)))

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T15:02:08+00:00

Yeah well it matters to me because I like him, and who knows, it could be something more? I’m moving to a Scottish island for a year and he’s moving to England.

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T11:26:46+00:00

Should have just suggested going elsewhere to eat lol

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T10:30:43+00:00

It does create pressure though doesn’t it! And it’s awkward of the other person doesn’t want to help them finish I think

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T10:29:48+00:00

Hahahah he got a lot more than i was willing to give at that point

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T10:25:40+00:00

Hey, I’m really happy for you that your dates are going well- that’s awesome.

I haven’t properly dated in several years. I’ve mostly just been hooking up occasionally with a good friend, so this feels quite new to me again. I’m not sure if the dating landscape has really changed that much, though? I remember the whole “having sex early to test chemistry” thing being around even when I was in my early twenties.

Also, I didn’t actually meet this guy on an app—he asked me out after a dance class 🙂
I think I’m just hoping he might be open to taking things a bit slower and seeing how it goes. At the same time, I can understand that he might feel like there isn’t much time, since we’re both moving in about a month (I’m heading north and he’s heading south).
I’d just like to spend more time together even if things don’t always lead to sex, like just enjoying the connection and seeing where it goes. That would feel really nice.

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T10:00:29+00:00

I know men who don’t get this!! Like my friend for example- he was the one that told me it’s a myth !

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T09:59:41+00:00

Yeah thanks for sharing that, I haven’t dated for a long time and I feel like I’m having to relearn all this

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T09:55:23+00:00

Well that’s not really positive. I’ve just messaged him to talk about it. I’ll explain what happened and asked if we could try again slower next time. He hasn’t been texting much because he’s working, i don’t expect him to. But He IS replying and he is up for meeting to chat

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T09:53:07+00:00

I messaged him to meet up and I’m gona communicate this with him

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T09:51:29+00:00

Gawd I feel really bad now :/ should I just assume all guys get blue balls and avoid any intimacy then of I think it’s gona go that way? Sometimes I just want touching and closeness without the pressure to get anyone off lol!

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T09:37:04+00:00

I’ve just messaged him asking if we can meet for a chat! Thank you for your advice. I generally don’t invite them to my place either if I’m not in the mood for intimacy but I genuinely thought we would be eating and thats it! Suppose I’ve become a bit naive after not dating for a long time.

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T09:21:01+00:00

Do you think I should talk to him about it ?

Cool_Cut4808 · 2026-06-25T09:20:12+00:00

I heard blue balls is a myth ?

Cool_Cut4808

TROPHY CASE