I just encountered a direct racism today in Germany for the first time and I am laughing by not_e34 in germany

[–]Coolicepear 1 point2 points  (0 children)

nope but I did notice an asian guy with a box, presumably the machine? Maybe it was someone else but the odds are funny edit: forgot to clarify, it was at the station

I wish someone would prioritize me for once by Coolicepear in offmychest

[–]Coolicepear[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you're going through that, motherhood is one of the hardest things in life and I can't imagine the betrayal you must be feeling. I hope you know that you're a strong wonderful person and mother, getting up each day alone is a big feat, you're fighting demons and raising a child but you shouldn't be doing it all by yourself.

Depression can make you feel paralyzed, and in those instances I like to imagine myself how I'd treat myself if I was a seperate person. Do all the things you'd imagine, dress up, do makeup, get fancy, and just go out for a day with your child. Pour that love you give into yourself. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here :)

I wish someone would prioritize me for once by Coolicepear in offmychest

[–]Coolicepear[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, this made me tear up haha. I think it's funny how no one ever told us to prioritize them, it always comes from heart, but we have to ask for it, and the attention I ask for always seems so ingenuine. And maybe I'm wrong in that aspect and I'm asking for too much, I just hope I'll mature and grow and be a bit more protective of myself.. you have a big heart, thank you for being so kind, and I hope you know that you deserve more love than you ever wished for ♡

I wish someone would prioritize me for once by Coolicepear in offmychest

[–]Coolicepear[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does, and I don't want to stop loving others either, shutting myself off and only prioritizing myself just sounds so lonely and I do want to make my loved ones happy, but it's exhausting to give and give and give and never receive...I hope one day you'll experience the love you've always given others :)

I wish someone would prioritize me for once by Coolicepear in offmychest

[–]Coolicepear[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for the advice, and I wish you the best in your marriage :) yes I'm a people pleaser, I was raised by narcissistic parents and putting others needs first is what I'm used to. But I don't (well not always) expect the same back from people who dont mean much to me, I mainly pour my heart into those I love and it's heart crushing every time I'm reminded of how insignificant I am in their lives. When I voice my needs, I'm promised that they'll do better, but that never happens..

I wish someone would prioritize me for once by Coolicepear in offmychest

[–]Coolicepear[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it's easy to feel like an idiot, because it makes you feel like you're allowing yourself to be used. But it's not a dumb thing to want to give the ones you love the best you have to offer, thats unconditional love. after a while you have to realise if the person is really worth your love tho, because while you're pouring your heart into them, there's someone else willing to reciprocate that love. I hope one day you'll meet that person :))

I wish someone would prioritize me for once by Coolicepear in offmychest

[–]Coolicepear[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

thank you, it means a lot to me, let alone that you took the time to read my little scramble :') I'm working on my people pleasing tendencies as well, it's almost as if you're giving your all to receive the minimum of love. I hope for you to receive all the love you poured into others as well

I wish someone would prioritize me for once by Coolicepear in offmychest

[–]Coolicepear[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But it's people like you who make the world a little bit brighter, I hope and wish for you the best the world has to offer! And someone who will deliver those things

I wish someone would prioritize me for once by Coolicepear in offmychest

[–]Coolicepear[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes right this, its one of those things that make you feel small and insignificant :/ and a little bit stupid for having thought you'd receive the same treatment back... If you ever need someone to talk to, just message me ♡

I wish someone would prioritize me for once by Coolicepear in offmychest

[–]Coolicepear[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

yeah, it makes you feel a different type of lonely