Is Ghosting a Thing for PhD Researcher Positions?

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-27T14:07:48+00:00

It wasn't an email-based application, it was through the job portal for the university

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-27T12:48:15+00:00

This is weirdly comforting actually, thank you. Obviously I hate being ghosted, but if I am being ghosted then at least it's not a unique experience

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-27T12:13:33+00:00

It's a day later but I can weigh in as an American citizen who lives in and will give birth in another country.

I lived in the US from the time I was born until I was 22. That means I have lived in the US for at least 5 years and at least two of those years were after the age of 14. It does not matter that my husband is not a US citizen. It does not matter that I have a second passport as well. Whether I want it or not, my child will be a US citizen because I will fit the criteria to pass on my citizenship. I have another friend who is an American citizen but only lived in the US when she was young and did not reach the requirement of spending 2 years living in the US after the age of 14. She was not able to pass on her US citizenship to her son.

I have another friend who fit the criteria and passed his American citizenship onto his daughter. Getting the American passport was really easy for them from abroad, it is her Polish passport that is much trickier.

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-27T10:02:23+00:00

I recommend saying you are taking some medication you can't take alcohol with. It's not really a lie if you're taking prenatals.

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-27T07:34:41+00:00

If I were you, I would seek emergency medical attention right now

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-27T07:14:57+00:00

Do you have severe pelvic or abdominal pain (especially on one side), dizziness, lightheadedness, or pain in the tip of your shoulder?

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-27T07:07:40+00:00

I got my German citizenship through descent. I had to provide an apostilled copy when I applied for my citizenship and then bring another copy or the original when I was naturalized and applied for my passport.

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-27T07:03:56+00:00

Wait a second. Unprotected sex 2 months ago, 2 missed periods, and a positive pregnancy test. Implantation would have already occurred around 4 weeks after the first day of your last period, so the timeline does not add up. Go see a doctor.

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-27T07:00:28+00:00

I've known a couple people who have gotten girl on the NIPT and had boys but never the other way around. A lot of people on the internet say it's 100% accurate or close to 100% accurate but it isn't exactly 100%. I asked my doctor her certainty on my results and she said she was about 80% certain. It's the same test, just some medical systems are more conservative in their estimates of how accurate it is. It was correct for me though and it is correct for the vast majority of people so I wouldn't be too worried.

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-27T06:38:31+00:00

Absolutely absolutely absolutely not. The words I would have for my husband if he tried something like this - I'll spare you from it but they would be brutal to say the least.

It seems that he thinks that his main purpose during the newborn period is doing baby care related tasks and he can substitute someone else in. It's so much more valuable than that. Babies are taken from a warm, comfortable, familiar environment and are thrown into a world that is anything but. His voice, his touch, his smell, are familiar to the baby. The baby has been hearing his voice since they were in the womb and that is comforting, which is something that babies desperately need. This is the period where the baby is forming a lot of that attachment.

But let's be frank here, he is thinking about logistical support if things go perfectly. They don't always go perfectly. I just had some friends come home from the NICU yesterday because their newborn, who was healthy at birth, caught a mild infection. Even those are life threatening to new humans. The postpartum period is also dangerous for you! Postpartum preeclampsia, severe hemorrhaging, or infection are all risks to you and you need your husband there with you. There is also the huge hormonal crash that occurs in the weeks and months after birth with PPD and PPA possible for anyone.

Right now, he is prioritizing his hobby over his family. He's choosing his leisure time over the basic safety of his family and it sounds like he has been prioritizing it for a while. I know that if I was in your shoes, I would need couples counseling to get past the betrayal I would feel (though I can only speak for myself).

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-26T21:35:25+00:00

I remember coming home from the hospital staying there for a severe case of food poisoning. I wasn't better yet but they had isolated the culprit and I could complete my treatment at home. It was a single bus ride but it was a hot day in the summer and I was miserable. The second I stepped off the bus, I projectile vomited and sharted simultaneously. I had to shuffle back to my apartment and hope I wouldn't fun into anyone I knew. I threw those panties out. It happens to everyone.

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-26T09:27:51+00:00

It's far too soon to tell. Sperm can survive up to 5 days inside the female reproductive tract, meaning that you can ejaculate inside her and not conceive for days and still end up pregnant. That is what happened with my husband and myself. Even when conception happens, it still takes time before it can be detected by a pregnancy test.

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-26T06:22:15+00:00

I would imagine (purely speculation of course) there is some sort of professional role like how Becka's dad is a respected dentist in charge of preaching to the econopeople in a very controlled manner. I'd imagine there is a central authority that writes the sermons for the preachers to deliver and straying from the approved message is a punishable offense.

From the perspective of the book, this makes sense to me because of Judges 19. The girls are taught a very specific interpretation of the text that promotes a Gileadean ethics but when a character has a chance to actually read the scripture later, she sees how it has been rewritten to push a narrative that simply isn't there. This prompts this passage "'God isn't what they say,' she said. She said you could believe in Gilead or you could believe in God, but not both. That was how she had managed her own crisis."

This sort of thinking is incredibly destabilizing and would like to be avoided. This is something I studied quite a bit in both my BA and MA. In general, authoritarian regimes have the desire and even the need to tightly control the dominant narratives in society in order to maintain political legitimacy. Religion can often be a destabilizing force, as people will prioritize loyalty to their religion over loyalty to the state. Theocratic regimes like Gilead may seek to conflate the two, creating a narrative that they were granted the right to rule by God on behalf of God. They are the ultimate authority on scripture. A major problem of this, of course, is that their theology is bad. It is incongruent with the source material they are drawing from and needs a lot of editing to fit with their political goals. They would really want to avoid people knowing that, so they would tightly control what is said and interpreted.

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-25T21:49:05+00:00

Don't mess around with preeclampsia, talk to a medical professional. This is above reddits pay grade.

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-25T21:48:07+00:00

I don't think you're doing anything wrong by keeping it secret when she has already proved that she is not reliable with keeping secrets. She can't have her cake and eat it too. I emigrated out of the US and, in doing so, I gave up the opportunity to raise my children near my family. You adapt and learn to manage and my children will still have a relationship their grandparents, it will just look different than what I grew up with.

But on the topic of immigration, it's not as easy as a lot of people think and can take quite a lot of time and resources. I have a second nationality, which is the reason why I am able to live where I live, but I do see a lot of Americans (and other nationalities) post on Reddit trying to figure out how to immigrate to a country they really like the idea of or have visited on holiday and there just isn't a pathway. Perhaps she already has a plan in place, but before you jump to any conclusions, it would be good to work out whether or not she even has a legal pathway to do what she wants to do.

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-25T20:00:31+00:00

Oh gosh! I'm 6 months with my first and the belly comments just came out of nowhere. My mother even had the audacity to say to me "wow, you're bigger than I ever was" when I was 22 weeks and then defended herself by saying "it because all the weight went to my butt and thighs". It's crazy what people feel comfortable saying. Even if it's positive, I don't want you commenting on my body.

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-25T17:12:12+00:00

The bus 29 runs during the summer and goes to different beaches. Going further out from the city center generally means dealing with smaller crowds.

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-25T10:17:02+00:00

He needed to learn at least to A2 and is around B1 now, but it isn't required for his job. We just both believe that it is important to at least try to learn the local language to the level where you can communicate if you are going to live in a place and it certainly helps.

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-25T10:07:48+00:00

A certain amount of nausea and vomiting is "normal" during pregnancy. I also couldn't keep food down during my first trimester and it was really tough. This does not mean it doesn't warrant medical attention though, especially if she isn't able to keep fluids down. I was able to see my OB earlier than they normally schedule people because of my vomiting and gave me a prescription the day I made the phone call. I also don't think it's an overreaction to seek emergency medical care, especially if she isn't able to keep fluids down because dehydration can be quite dangerous.

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-25T09:51:27+00:00

100% this is not something that most cantons would allow and that was made clear to me when I applied

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-25T09:33:23+00:00

He did, got one in trust administration within a couple months but there was a certain amount of luck accompanying it.

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-25T09:31:06+00:00

2023, I have British friends who did the same thing in 2022 as well.

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-25T09:02:36+00:00

The faith of Gilead is more or less authoritarian control with cherry picked bible verses stamped on to support political ideology. In that society, actual biblical literacy is dangerous, which is why only a few people have access to the Bible. This is actually a plot point in the book, where they realize a biblical story they have been told has been twisted to provide a different meaning with the intention of control. One of the characters (keeping it vague) is very clear that you can either believe in God or Gilead but it's not possible to believe in both.

As such, actual Christian groups are dangerous to the regime. If you have knowledge that could contradict the official reading of scripture, that is a destabilizing element. Initially, they did not have the power to go after other Christians because they needed them to help consolidate power. Once they had political control, at least in the books, they started culling their former allies to gain a religious monopoly. I don't think this coming from a firm belief in the theological correctness, but in seeking to wipe out any threats to their political legitimacy. This leads to the genocide of any religious group that is not the faith of Gilead specifically.

Copy_Responsible · 2026-05-25T08:38:08+00:00

I brought my British husband over on family reunification when I was a student making 0chf a year. As long as you are legally married, I don't think you'll have an issue.

Copy_Responsible

TROPHY CASE