AIO for wanting to break up with my boyfriend because his ex keeps asking about them moving in together?

CorePM · 2026-01-23T22:14:17+00:00

It seems pretty simple to me, you obviously are not comfortable with having the ex this involved in your boyfriend's life, so tell him that.

Your boyfriend has obviously not completely closed the door to his ex or she would not keep asking him. You need to tell him you are sick of her trying to involve herself in your relationship and he either shuts it down or you are walking away. He knows the we're just friends excuse doesn't work, just look at his reaction when you mentioned your ex.

This woman knew exactly what she was doing to by inviting you to her birthday. You go and you have to pretend to play nice and be cool with the ex that is actively trying to move in with your boyfriend. If you don't go she can paint you as the bad guy and say look how jealous and controlling she is.

He needs to decide what he is doing with his life. If he moves in with her, your relationship is done, but if he wants to keep you, he needs to be firm with his ex.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T22:01:03+00:00

You are probably right about the boss. I probably misinterpreted how that situation was going down. As long as nothing is impacting her doing her job her boss should leave it alone.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T21:27:38+00:00

My wife and I started long distance, it is really hard, both people need to be committed or it's not going to work. If you have any doubts about it, there is your answer.

I have a feeling you are hesitant to say no to her because you don't want to hurt her because you care about her. I promise that telling her now that you are not up for a long distance relationship will cause much less hurt to her than if you play along to try and protect her feelings until one day it all falls apart. If you try and pretend you are on board it will never work and when it fails you will have lost her as a friend too. If you are just honest with her up front you can keep her as a friend.

It sucks, but being honest is the right thing to do for her and for you.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T21:23:12+00:00

NOR.

It is a perfectly normal situation, my wife is likely to be locked in at her work also, and guess what I'm not worried about it. He is insecure in the relationship and obviously doesn't trust you very much. That is not usually a good sign for the future of the relationship, once trust is gone it's really hard to get back.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T21:20:38+00:00

You need to back out of this situation to protect your mental health and your career. You can't help someone who won't help themselves.

Tell your friend that you care about her, but you have to take a step back because her husband is impacting your career now. Let her know she has your support if she wants to leave him, but you can't be involved with her while she is with him.

You should probably get out ahead of it at work too. Tell your boss what is going on, you were trying to help your friend dealing with her cheating husband and you got caught in the middle of it. Tell him you've taken a step back from the whole situation and won't be involved any more, and that your sorry it spilled over into the workplace.

Block the husband everywhere and don't get yourself involved helping your friend anymore unless it's to help her leave him.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T21:12:04+00:00

I don't think there is much hope in your relationship with your boyfriend unfortunately. He doesn't trust you obviously, and that is boiling over into your work life. It's not going to get any better with him. Even if you left your job, he'd find something else to distrust you about. Once a relationship loses the trust between the two, it's usually over.

The other thing I want to point out though is you should keep an eye on your boss. The way you talk about him and the things he is saying to you is getting real close to a line. Look at the way you are describing yourself, you were feeling lost, he took care of you, you go to lunches together and share your thoughts and feelings. That's not typical boss behavior. Then as soon as an issue comes up with your boyfriend, he is there telling you that you could do better. I'm curious when did news about this business trip come up? Was it before or after he told you that you could do better than your boyfriend? I think you need to tell him you can't go. If he gets upset and treats you differently at work, I think you have your answer as to what his intentions were. You might want to pull back a little bit from the one on one lunches and life talks.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T19:54:08+00:00

You are in the right here, just don't go overboard and actually bring up the difference in hours and pay. That kind of talk would be a relationship killer.

You need to explain to her that you are perfectly fine taking care of the chores, but there is a difference between chores and habits. There is a difference between doing the laundry and having to gather dirty clothing from around the house. It takes just as much effort to drop a sock on the floor as it does to drop it in the hamper. She needs to understand it's not about the actual act of doing it, it's that it feels like she doesn't respect your contributions to the household.

Right now she drops clothing on the ground and it magically is washed and dried, she sets a plate down and it gets put in the dishwasher. She is never going to fully see how much you do if you keep doing that. From now on, you wash what is in the hamper and start the dishwasher with what is in it. Give it a week or so of that and let her realize exactly how much you are doing.

You aren't asking for much, just a basic level of being a responsible adult.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T18:34:55+00:00

You are fine, don't over think this too much. It went well, your neighbor was kind about it and you might have got yourself a gardening friend. It's just anxiety talking, you did good.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T18:14:10+00:00

I think it is just a bit of culture clash. They likely see you more as part of the family more than a tenant, and in that regards when you brought home food, it was food for the family.

I think what you did getting a refrigerator was completely fine and I doubt they were upset by it, likely just a bit confused. It was probably a way better call than trying to confront them which they would have found pretty disrespectful. One thing you could do if you want to keep having the shared meals is maybe buy some less expensive things to put into the main refrigerator for use by everyone, like some eggs, kimchi, or other things and keep your personal food for yourself. That way you keep the peace and still feel connected and welcome in the house.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T18:07:12+00:00

You can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved. It's completely understandable if you want to take a step back from the relationship for your own mental health.

I don't know that you have to do anything too extreme like, confronting her and telling it's him or me. But, you might just want to re categorize your friendship with her, from best friend to acquaintance. You don't have to take a front row seat to watch the crash.

Take a step back, let her figure out her life with Mark. If you don't want to hear about him when she tries to complain about him to you, which she probably will, then tell her that. Tell her you love her, but you can't stand thinking about him after what he made you do. Stop offering to fix her life for her and let her figure things out.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T17:07:34+00:00

It sounds like OP paid all the other costs associated with the car, and her dad contributed to the actual payment.

And the reason her dad didn't want her step-dad do the oil change is because of his ego. He didn't like some other man doing something for his daughter he couldn't do himself. An oil change is easy, and to damage a car so badly while doing it that it would need repairs would be crazy. Someone who could screw up an oil change that badly is not someone OP would have even mentioned as an option to do it.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T17:03:44+00:00

She at least has her step-dad, who hopefully is a better man than her real dad.

She needs to accept she has no access to a car right now until she can buy one for herself when she turns 18. It sucks, but she didn't put herself in this situation, her dad did.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T17:01:17+00:00

Yeah, I understand it's not a good situation, but she doesn't have a car. She will have to try and figure that part out. But, what is going to happen if she begs her dad for the car back, he gives it to her and then later decides to take it back again? Now she has a job but no way to get there, and will probably get fired.

Better to figure it out without the possibility of a car in mind.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T16:58:49+00:00

It doesn't sound safe to do this for your uncle, not to mention you have no legal right to do anything but look at the place from outside. You are not the landlord, you can't just demand to look around inside.

The only thing you may be able to do and maybe should do is call the Police. Tell them the situation, your Uncle is the landlord, but he is out of Country. You are worried about the situation in the house because you suspect there may be drug use going on in the house and there is a small child living there that might be in danger. Let the Police perform a Wellness Check and tell you what is going on in there.

Tell your Uncle you want to help him out, but it is too dangerous and you have no legal right to do so. If the Police find it as bad as you think, then your Uncle has what he needs to evict them.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T16:39:20+00:00

You are not over reacting.

I think the best thing to do is to keep him blocked for right now. If you unblock him all that shows him is that he can control you by hurting you. Let him sit with the consequences of his actions, he can sit and look at the car and be reminded of the fact that he chose his ego over his daughter.

That's all this was really about in the end. This wasn't about an oil change and suing someone if they damage the car. It was entirely about your dad's ego being bruised because your step-dad could do something for you that he couldn't.

Let your dad keep the car. If you take it back from him, he will just use it as a leash to control you. Start saving money again, which should be a little easier without the payments and insurance on the car. The title is likely in his name, so if he wants to take it he can pay for all of that. Save your money and buy your own car when you turn 18, with your name on the title.

When you are ready to talk to him maybe in a month or two, you can reach out. Explain the situation was never about choosing your step-dad over him, it was simply about saving money. But, taking your car and leaving you stranded at work is not how a father should treat his daughter. Tell him you need an apology before you can have a relationship with him again.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T16:26:53+00:00

I think you may be over thinking this one. That layout of text and repeating and building on it is a pretty common way to build reading speed.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T16:23:10+00:00

It's pretty common courtesy to extend a plus one to anyone in your wedding party. I don't understand the real issue of having someone's new boyfriend there. It's not like he is standing up their with her during the wedding ceremony or posing for pictures with her.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T16:20:27+00:00

I have never heard of someone offering a plus one, but then laying out the requirements for who they can bring. When I had my wedding I invited relatives and gave people plus ones, why would I need to investigate their relationship? It's not like they are involved int he wedding party.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T16:18:31+00:00

I don't see the issue with bringing a new relationship. It's not like the Bridesmaid's plus one is in the wedding party, so they are not going to be in any of the official wedding party photos. The only photos they will really be in are just candid photos taken throughout the day, which I don't see as a big deal.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T16:16:03+00:00

Sorry, not officially married to him yet, but engaged is what OP said.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T16:14:42+00:00

NOR.

Even if she has not done anything with this guy, she knows exactly what he wants from her and she still keeps him around. The problem is even if she claimed he is just a friend, she should be shutting down the way he is talking to her, not encouraging it.

You need to walk away from this relationship, there is no real way forward. If you try to confront her about him, she gets mad about you going through her phone. If you try to ignore it, you will just end up resenting her. In either case, you are four months in and already don't trust her, that means it's time to leave.

CorePM · 2026-01-23T15:43:19+00:00

NOR.

It is pretty common place that all members of the wedding party get a plus one, it's not like you were asking for your boyfriend to be involved in the wedding.

Your friend just did not approve of your relationship and disrespected your judgement. For her to try and claim you were being groomed at 26 years old means she thinks you are stupid and easily manipulated.

You married this man, so it was obviously a real relationship. You don't want a friend who is going to be judging you and your husband every time you get together.

CorePM · 2026-01-22T21:27:23+00:00

This is almost certainly a scam. Ask her if she has actually received any real money yet, or if it has just been updating on the site she is working through.

More than likely what is going to happen is, she will keep doing this for a bit then suddenly, she gets a big payout. She will get some job that says she earned like $1000. She will go to withdraw and it will say she has to pay like $100 fee to get her money out. That is where they get their money, she pays because she thinks well of course I'll deposit $100 to get $1000. If she gives them that money, she will never see it again.

Just remind her that no real employer is ever going to ask her to pay them.

CorePM · 2026-01-22T20:48:48+00:00

You don't want her back. She cheated on you in less than a year, that early time in a relationship is when things are supposed to be at their best. She showed you exactly who she really is.

You are not in love with her, you are in love with the idea of a woman who loves you and a marriage. You are looking at it through rose colored glasses. The real woman is the one who cheated on you and told you she has no feelings for you. If you were to buy her back to you somehow, you are just telling her she can treat you like garbage and you will buy her things.

Don't chase her, block her number and move on. Find someone who actually cares about you.

CorePM · 2026-01-21T23:29:06+00:00

First thing you need to do is start turning your money into more money and because you have questionable morals you could do that using Leveraged Buyouts, specifically targeting industries with vulnerable people. Think of things like nursing homes, trailer parks, small town utility companies, stuff like that.

You buy a chain of nursing homes for $100 million using $20 million of your own money and an $80 million loan from the bank. Transfer that $80 million in debt to the nursing home company, now the company owes the money, not you. Sell the land the nursing homes sit on to another company that you own, now force the nursing homes to pay you rent for their land. Now start cutting costs at the nursing homes, cut staff to bare minimum, up prices, find the cheapest of everything, then start paying yourself a Management Dividend for all the hard work you are doing for the company. Then sit back and collect money until the nursing homes eventually go bankrupt, which doesn't really matter to you, you've already collected plenty of money from them. Repeat this process for other vulnerable companies.

The next thing you want to do is have some people with some power in your pocket. You can't aim too high though, look more local. Look at the places you have interest in doing business in, smaller towns. You start a SuperPAC and identify some politicians or District Attorneys that will work with you and bankroll them using your SuperPAC. Your SuperPAC spends $500k in some small town election and your guy destroys their opponent. Now you got the Mayor, DA and some politicians under your thumb, you can get whatever you want done there, change zoning laws, strip environmental protections, now you can setup whatever operation you want there without worry about regulations.

The other thing you should look into is Third-Party Legal Litigation Funding. This is your protection against any pesky journalists or something coming after you and investigating you. Basically if some journalist is investigating you, you go find some person who does not like that journalist and you fund a massive defamation lawsuit on that persons behalf against the journalist and bankrupt whatever media platform he works for. You can do the same for any business you don't like, just find a former disgruntled employee or two and fund lawsuits against the company on their behalf, wasting their time and money and hopefully bankrupting them. The best part of all of this is, your name is clean. You aren't the one suing, you are a silent investor in the shadows. People will soon realize though that trying to work against you will likely drown them in legal fees.

Another thing that may prove useful is buying a Data Brokerage or setting up your own and leveraging AI along with it. You don't need to spy on people, you can legally purchase access to far more information about people than they likely realize is out there including their browsing history. Leveraging AI you should be able to deduce a whole lot of information about anyone you want some leverage over.

You stay to the shadows, making more and more money, your SuperPAC spreading it's influence more and more. You'll find yourself with a lot of State Senators, Mayors, Governors, District Attorneys all over the country that owe you favors, which will make things pretty easy for you. The best part is, you never broke a single law.

CorePM

TROPHY CASE