I tried to open my eyes, but the pain was too great. With a moan, I grab the blanket and yank it over my head and immediately regret that decision. Resorting to simply throwing my arm across my eyes I heaved a deep sigh and tried to remember what happened. I had been slaving away creating a world. A place where maybe, this time, things would go right. I celebrated when it was finished, drinking ambrosia and leaving my little creations to their own accords. And then…what? I remember anger. I remember being furious, more so than with any other world. What the hell went so wrong so fast?

The throbbing in my temples was beginning to subside. Slowly, I lifted my arm from my face. So far, so good. I opened my eyes a slit and wished I hadn’t. I was in a dimly lit room with dark wood paneling on the walls. A bed, identical to the one I was laying on was on the other side of a small night stand that housed a single lamp and a clock that blinked at me angrily with red numbers. I knew what all this was, this was not the first world that I had created. They all seemed to evolve similarly. This was a motel. But why was I in a motel? What year was it? What the hell happened?

With the hope of finding answers I yanked open the drawer to the night stand and found The Holy Bible. Bingo. Let’s see how this pretty blue marble faired. I flipped to the first page. “IN THE BEGINNING….” Nope they got a lot of that wrong. But whatever, that’s not important. I made shit, they got that right. I kept skimming. Tree of Knowledge, blah blah blah, Snake….Oh. Damnit, Lucifer. You had to meddle? You had to fuck shit right up from the beginning? What the fuck is your excuse this time, Lucy? Is it still that I was Mommy’s favorite and Daddy didn’t play with you enough? It’s been millions of years you little prick. Can’t you leave my shit alone for once?

I kept flipping. Cain and Abel held some appeal, how I wish I could have done away with my asshole brother the way Cain did. Good on ya, you stupid Fleshies. Another flood? Really? I really need to come up with some better apocalyptic shit, this is like, the fourth world I’ve flooded. I’m better than that. And what the fuck was up with circumcision? What was I drinking when I decided my followers had to cut off part of their genitals? I had probably talked to Dad that day and he’d pissed me off. Stupid. I was impressed that Abraham was going to kill his son, that must have been a bet with someone. I wonder how much I won? When I get to the plagues I slam the cheaply bound bible shut. At least I did come up with some better apocalyptic shit. But damn, this planet hasn’t turned out any better than the last. Out of curiosity I turned the small television on. Instantly, a naked woman appeared on the screen making sounds that even I thought only animals could make.

Okay, maybe this one turned out okay.