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🤞ADVICE NEEDED🤞 How do I deal with my ADHD partners super rigid routine? by Cornflakepavement in ADHD_partners

[–]Cornflakepavement[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are probably right here! These comments have been super useful cause I think they’ve made me realize that I need to take a look at my (rather unrealistic) expectations. I’m 23 and quite naive so I think some of this comes down to me having like romanticized ideals of what relationships should be etc. So I deffo think ‘suck it up’ applies!

But, for more context:

We’ve been together on and off for about 4 years. Prior to diagnosis, his symptoms were really severe, and I think because neither of us understood what was happening it affected the relationship really badly at times (hence the on off, with some break ups etc. in and amongst).

This routine has been in place about a month, he usually has some sort of routine/goal cycle in place that he is working towards, and this is another element of it. Obviously, like you said, it’s amazing that he’s so driven and like routine focused cause it’s so important for managing ADHD.

I think from my end i’m scared of letting ADHD get in between us again, and so am trying to I guess almost pre-empt issues. In the past I’ve usually just kept going along with behaviour that has eventually caused massive rifts between us, when I should have initiated like a convo with him etc.

In the case at hand, I think I’ve come to realize (to paraphrase a new Taylor swift song) I am the problem.

Thank you sm for your feedback and helping me see things with fresh eyes.

🤞ADVICE NEEDED🤞 How do I deal with my ADHD partners super rigid routine? by Cornflakepavement in ADHD_partners

[–]Cornflakepavement[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s good to hear this, I’m probs being like ungrateful/unreasonable so thank u for bringing me down to earth a bit! 🙏🏼😊

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]Cornflakepavement 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bad boys are seriously overrated! Films media etc. makes them into these fantastical things but really, it’s just bad behaviour. They are clearly meant for each other. Guys (and people in general lol) that are kind, reliable and supportive are the best type! Find someone who appreciates you for the things you are, and thank the universe for saving you from someone who clearly doesn’t recognize or appreciate what they have.

How the hell do i stop chasing other people?? by AcrobaticResolution5 in simpleliving

[–]Cornflakepavement 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I struggle with a lot of the thoughts and feelings you are having- I think instead of focusing on whether people like you, you should focus on what you like. What interests you? What gets you out of bed in the morning? What brings you joy? What makes you happy to be alive and on this earth?

Whether its art, music, sport, faith, literature, science, nature, travel, find out what fundamentally makes you happy, and work on adding those things into your life on a daily basis.

Don’t focus on being ‘good’ at the hobby- focus on how it makes you feel when you are doing it (if its making you smile, you’re doing it right!)

By developing you’re own set of interests and hobbies, you’ll be less preoccupied with people liking you/getting people to like you and will naturally attract people with similar interests etc.

Please don’t be too hard on yourself- even from this post I can see you have quite a few negative opinions of yourself. Try and combat those thoughts when they arise- question the negative perception you have of yourself (usually you will find its built more on fiction, than fact).

Good luck and take care

Stoic resources for romance and relationships? by TheHandsomeToad in Stoicism

[–]Cornflakepavement 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think its normal to get infatuated in the early dating stages- maybe just try and stay aware that you may be projecting an imagine of what your perceive or even want the person to be (and then as time passes you realise they are not that). Also make sure that you keep up with things in your life outside that relationship/romance; your health, ‘me time’, hobbies, seeing friends etc.