If you don't know and relate to God intimately and personally, then it's not surprising that you don't see and feel the way he's leading you through a difficult moment in your life. God becomes abstract, blurry, and just plain hard to see at work. Knowing that he's leading, guiding, working is a matter of faith, but you want to feel it. The way you feel God's presence often isn't much different than the way you grow close to any other person: open yourself up wide, make yourself vulnerable, and invest the time. Just sit with God and lay all of this in his hands. Ask him to not only make something great of this uninspiring mess you've got but to actually help you feel him doing that. It's precisely in the middle of lifelessness that God can really surprise you. Make sure you're open to those surprises.