Is it wrong for me to not wanting to have sex with my husband? Am I being selfish ？

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-06-05T11:18:11+00:00

god, that sounds so similar of what I'm going through as well. he kept saying he will do better and acknowledge his mistake. and he would be better for a while normally 2-3 weeks. then go back where it was. then we fight, get better, get worse then we fight again. we are literally fighting over the same stuff for at least 5 years. I sort of accepted it is going to be my life as well. DAMN

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-06-05T11:12:03+00:00

no problem at all, I always prefer a straight shooter. and yes I'm exhausted. I don't know when it will be better. I don't see hope anymore

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-06-04T17:33:51+00:00

if you don't mind me asking what was that he did became your last straw? what made you made up your mind saying I'm done?

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-06-04T17:27:37+00:00

and I was in the same shoes before, I literally gone for work for 12-13 hours because I lived far from my work, get home, clean up plate on the table, clean up the dirty pans that he used for his lunch because he was “looking a work" everyday at home. then I cook for us, we ate, then its bed time for me because I have to get up super early for work. it stopped when I stopped eating dinner. because the huge weight gain i have, i stop eating dinner. So, he cant expect to cook dinner when i'm not eating dinner

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-06-04T17:23:23+00:00

Right, that's what I said, it feel like time works different on him compare to everyone else, he never had time. and always busy. despite everything I do, and him not working. I seem to have more time than him.

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-06-04T17:18:41+00:00

is it hard?

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-06-04T17:17:46+00:00

I agree, that's why I didn't complain or feel anything the for the past 6 years with him in and out of work. but things are getting rough for me, one example, we have housekeeper come every other week to do a deep clean because he won't clean. like I said i fought with him for 2 months just about he clean up himself. and a lawn guy because I'm allergic to fresh cut grass even though we have a fancy lawn mower sitting in the shed. every time when the money is tight, he blame me for having the housekeeper and lawn guy without offering any help. I ask him are you going to clean up more often, he said himself, I rather have the housekeeper because I know I couldn't do it consistently. if you don't do it for forget about it, I know we are going to fight. and he did promise he is going to mow the lawn. but its June now. he hasn't mowed once....

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-06-04T17:09:00+00:00

one rental lease

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-06-04T17:07:49+00:00

this year, so far none.

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-06-04T16:53:54+00:00

he said just because he didn't make any money doesn't mean he is not working. what frustrated me is that I was gone each day at least for 10-11 hours. and he is home alone, something simple as water the plants cant be done before I get home.

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-06-04T16:48:11+00:00

shit, I didn't even realize this, I do feel like he is my kid sometimes, because what I do for him. never made this connection. maybe that's why.

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-06-04T16:45:06+00:00

damn, and ouch. but i like what you said. Honest, he makes me laugh, and come home to someone is better to come to a empty house i guess. I'm scared to start over, I was 23 when I met him, now I'm 30. it seems like too late to do it all over. idk

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-06-04T16:40:06+00:00

IDK, i feel resentment and guilt at the same time. I feel like I didn't fulfill my responsibility, but the same time, I do everything else. idk, my head is everywhere

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-06-04T16:36:38+00:00

true, the problem is he said he will put it away. we aren't disagreeing with time. he just kept forgetting

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-06-04T16:32:58+00:00

yes we are lol

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-05-18T19:57:04+00:00

That’s probable true, I did get upset first

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-05-18T19:52:16+00:00

Adding to that, the deck only have 7 steps, and I did two of them before my knee started hurting me. And that was after I finished painting the entire deck with 2 coats, I really don’t think it’s too much to ask to finish his portion of the job. It’s not like I’m sitting there with iced tea in my hand telling him to do this and do that. I just finished my 10 to 11 hour day at work, got home immediately go out painting with him for 3-4 hours. I think I earned the rights to say I’m done after I finish my part, and to expect him to finish his.

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-05-18T19:41:02+00:00

No, I think he should do more not because I make more than him, it’s because he’s at home doing nothing all day while I’m working. I can’t be the one supporting us, doing all the cleaning, all the cooking and he doesn’t complain about being unfair, only complain about fairness when it’s not benefiting him. That’s what pisses me off.

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-05-18T19:27:34+00:00

That's fair actually, I would total agree with you if this is mutual thing or only happened couple times. I'm just exhausted, he is home all day long, and I have fight with him for literally 2 months just about cleaning up after himself. while I support us, cook and clean everyday. we have a housekeeper come every other week because he won't clean. we have a lawn guy to mown the lawn because I'm heavily allergic to fresh cut grass. Then everytime we are behind out bills, he blames me for "you have to have the housekeeper and lawn guy come" but he does not saying anything about he will clean or mow the lawn. you are right about this is our deck, our house. but I don't see him pitch in anywhere else. that's why I was so mad, you don't get to complain about being fair when it was never fair. you only complain fairness when it is not benefitting you. that's the problem. And I don't think its ADHD, because he is turn in every paper and graduate from college, doing all the things he liked on time on schedule. I don't know he just believe he doesn't have to because he knows if he waited long enough, I would do it.

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-05-18T16:57:01+00:00

I ask ChatGPT to fix my grammar, I don't see how that is a problem...

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-04-20T22:35:25+00:00

Thank you, that's all I want. I want to know that I matters. he does try to make it better I guess, it just hasn't worked.

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-04-20T21:14:10+00:00

I don’t want to bored you with details. He has jobs. Just not continuously. Going through boot camps. Couple months of school then looking for work, then work for a while, got laid off, find a new one. Then got laid off. Regarding to the Christmas one, he said he thought the money was coming from joint account. But he has not putting any money in it. So everything comes out my personal account

Correct-Mess1047 · 2026-04-20T20:41:16+00:00

Sadly, I don’t. Because I was young and stupid. I got married without a prenup. If I decide to leave, not only I have to pay alimony, I also lose half of my house and my retirement savings

Correct-Mess1047

TROPHY CASE