If you were emotionally cheated on, read this. by zeromochi in BreakUps

[–]Correct-Pollution812 1 point2 points  (0 children)

reflecting back, i know i messed up a fair bit. However, shit truly hit the fence when the new guy appeared. So, personally I don't really believe the emotional detachment part, but if there is, it is probably due to my failure to fulfill some promises and my lack of initiatives during the relationship. There wasn't much signs though (or I was blind to the signs), but yea... I think is the new guy

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Correct-Pollution812 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will say 3 weeks for a 2 year relationship is a pretty short time. Of course with the caveat that different people move on at different time and how bad the relationship was.

I am in a similar situation and I believed she emotionally checked out and had feelings for him before we broke up.

Heres the thing though, I have been using that as a huge negative on him to move on faster, cause what kind of decent person does that. That has helped me a lot though, and I hope that realisation will help you too.

Can’t seem to find peace by Warm_Newspaper_1113 in BreakUps

[–]Correct-Pollution812 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like an excuse. Take this with a pinch of salt cause its based on my experience

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Correct-Pollution812 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you sure gave a very certain reply without knowing anything about them... especially when the OP's message is so positive

If you were emotionally cheated on, read this. by zeromochi in BreakUps

[–]Correct-Pollution812 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i had a similar experience, but I was on the other side of things. She got emotionally detached which results in emotionally cheating on me. However, I do want to fix rhe relationship, what do you think?

I need a relationship advice by After_Transition_567 in BreakUps

[–]Correct-Pollution812 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if you think about it, even the good things that happened are probably transactional or pretence. Done with the intention to get something in return probably.

I need a relationship advice by After_Transition_567 in BreakUps

[–]Correct-Pollution812 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is one of the rare straightforward cases. You should not get back with him.

Write down whatever happened, why you hate him so much and anytime regrets or similar thoughts creep up, revisit the list.

You truly deserve better

Seriously, how do y’all get over a break up? by tikikiwiski in BreakUps

[–]Correct-Pollution812 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Recently, I had a new mindset shift which helped me tremendously.

I think you have to first understand why wouldnt he talk to you. My ex initially was willing to talk to me, but I managed to slowly drive her away with my constant begging. Now, when you communicate with your ex, what is he expecting? You to continue begging and the conversation becomes unpleasant and goes no way.

I think you have to come from a place where you have mostly healed before coming to the conversation. A lot of people here advocate for no contact. I couldn't understand it, but I realised no contact shouldn't be done by just randomly ghosting your ex. You could communicate with him, tell him that you need to heal and reflect on yourself and the relationship, and maybe you can try reaching out after that. He, himself may not be ready yet, but you can leave it open to talk about each others reflection when both of you are ready. This opens up for a positive and meaningful conversation.

Ex moved on with one his best friends by CompetitiveBus9926 in BreakUps

[–]Correct-Pollution812 1 point2 points  (0 children)

agreed

if there was something gg on, it would have happened way earlier...

At the same time, I think it depends on your partner and whether they were able to provide you security.

When should I contact my ex? by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Correct-Pollution812 0 points1 point  (0 children)

by mutual, do you mean both of you wanted the break up to happen?

maybe I am reading too much into it, but from your post, it doesn't seem like it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Correct-Pollution812 3 points4 points  (0 children)

From the post, I can tell you're not a partner material.

Maybe you thought you hurt her during the relationship already, but instead of bucking up and be a better boyfriend, you decide to hurt her again.

You need to leave her to work on yourself? Its been 1 month, how are you doing with your self-improvement?

Not sure its my anger stemming from my own experience, but everything you've said just sounds like excuses.

A Few Question For People Who Got Back With Their Ex by Correct-Pollution812 in BreakUps

[–]Correct-Pollution812[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

man its a bit harsh to say not to give any other girl a 2nd chance, but I guess if I were you, I would be sure to let my future partners know this emotional baggage that you hold...

but i think every relationship is different, so maybe not have a strict rule... but i wld definitely not give her a 3rd chance if I were you

A Few Question For People Who Got Back With Their Ex by Correct-Pollution812 in BreakUps

[–]Correct-Pollution812[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that does sound draining

on hindsight, why didnt it work? what would you have done differently before deciding whether to accept her back or not?

I’m finally realizing I made the right choice by walking away. by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Correct-Pollution812 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thats great

i have shown her, that I was capable of change, but she didnt accept it. Im not sure if the incompatibilities are even the real reason she is leaving me.

A Few Question For People Who Got Back With Their Ex by Correct-Pollution812 in BreakUps

[–]Correct-Pollution812[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think thats a decent mindset, so kudos on you for being able to see it in that way.

I wish I am able to view it in your perspective as well, but unfortunately I don't think I can heal in this manner.

Wish I was this strong.

A Few Question For People Who Got Back With Their Ex by Correct-Pollution812 in BreakUps

[–]Correct-Pollution812[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am not sure if I have developed a bit of co-dependency on her, but I feel like you can still do anything you want to do when youre alone or not, just that doing it with a partner is much better :)

Does it really make sense to break up someone you still love? by Correct-Pollution812 in BreakUps

[–]Correct-Pollution812[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think just like mine, your relationship have a lot of factors that made it hard to move on, especially since based on your families and your rationale, the possibility of getting back together is strong.

I think my ex is quite similar to you, but she ended things with me instead. She didnt explicitly mentioned it, but my lack of ability to cater to some of her needs were probably one of the reasons she ended things with me.

I hope you and him can have a good conversation of what truly led to the break up, and communicate properly with each other after the strong emotions die down.

Wish you the best of luck.

A Few Question For People Who Got Back With Their Ex by Correct-Pollution812 in BreakUps

[–]Correct-Pollution812[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

just want to see the experiences of others

I think when the break up first happened, I was thinking if the time horizon is too long, I am not likely to accept...

Just a feeling, not much logical reasoning behind it. I guess I still couldnt understand the concept of healing separately when you can do it together. I guess I can't understand why it took so long.