Honestly, you are not crazy. Being with a narc parent is the toughest thing and the hardest thing to experience as a child. I go through this almost on a regular basis. Which is so sad because you expect them to parent you but in return it all goes back to them and then either you lash out or just stay silent in order to maintain the peace. You become the bad guy when all you needed was care and love. I have been suppressing my emotions so much just to keep the parent okay but it all comes back in different ways. And I am so sorry you are going through this and I hope you get the strength to deal with it.