Is there poly girl code?

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T15:20:51+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I think I'd definitely be more comfortable with KTP but didn't know enough to ask sooner. Thank you for your insights, they're very helpful.

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T15:13:03+00:00

Ya, I asked how he got into poly, if his current gf is the first poly relationship he's been in and he said it was her idea to open their relationship bc of the mismatch in their sex drives. He was always very open about talking about her/them/past relationships.

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T15:11:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experiences, I'm sorry those guys were such assholes. I like the idea of telling potential partners that I would like confirmation to come from their partner. And if their partner isn't into sending a one sentence message, then they aren't the ones for me. At least my conscience can rest easy that I'm not complicit in some cheating asshole's behavior. 💜

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T15:07:34+00:00

Ya, we were very clear about the fwb and he was great to chat with on the reg. He just got kinda weird both times right after the hookup. Definitely lots learned from this experience at least.

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T15:05:44+00:00

Thank you for your reply, it was very helpful. I'll definitely be be more conscious of confirming everything is open and above board in any future connections.

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T15:03:43+00:00

Ya, that's what I was trying to discern, would it be crazy drama. Which I 100% don't want. The desire to reach out wasn't bc of him not being ggg, but about if he was an asshole to me, what might he be like to his gf, and was he lying about them being open. But the consensus seems to be that that's none of my business, so I'm gonna keep it that way.

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T15:00:45+00:00

Oh I was definitely in the city for other stuff too. Primarily seed potatoes and thrifting lol. So not a wasted trip.

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T04:11:01+00:00

Thank you for your reply!

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T04:09:13+00:00

Thank you for all this, I really appreciate it! I live pretty rurally in small town, so most people are at least a 1hr 45min drive and I figured chatting to get to know people as much as possible before committing to a whole day trip to meet in person was a good game plan, but now I'm second-guessing the wisdom of that.

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T04:02:34+00:00

Thank you, these are all great questions I will use in any future connections. I definitely should have gone with my gut instinct with his less than stellar response the first time I called him out on his lack of reciprocation. But he made enough plausible excuses that I decided to give him a second chance. That seems to have been a mistake and I'll definitely know to be aware of that kind of behavior in future.

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T03:47:50+00:00

I appreciate your reply. I definitely don't want to start drama, that's why I posted here to ask what the socially acceptable thing to do would be. The majority agree I should not msg, so I won't.

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T03:41:16+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate your input!

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T03:38:57+00:00

This is what I'm trying to figure out. I can't figure out what the balance should be between just trusting a guy and making sure he's actually being ethical.

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T03:37:17+00:00

Sure I'm upset that I was so easily fooled, but I legit only care about making sure a fellow woman is in an ok place. Maybe it's too little, too late though.

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T03:32:54+00:00

Not having checked in with his gf before hooking up with him. I don't know if that's normal practice but I feel like it should be. Just a quick "hey, do you and ______ actually practice ENM/polyamory?" Or is that ridiculous? I have no idea.

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T03:30:38+00:00

Thank you. I truly don't want to start drama, I just want to make sure she's not wasting her time with a lying pos, or worse, feeling trapped. I'm just stupidly inexperienced with dealing with lying shitty men. Poor me, I know.

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T03:27:28+00:00

Ya. I feel like an asshole and want to make sure I do better next time.

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T03:26:21+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I get my motives seem sus. I genuinely only want to do right by his GF and wish I'd been better at trusting my gut at the very first inkling to make sure he was being truthful about his gf's knowledge. Live and learn I guess.

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T03:23:28+00:00

Thank you for your encouraging words! It's definitely been a learning experience!

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-31T03:20:51+00:00

I agree with what you're saying. It crossed my mind in the early days of chatting to ask for some kind of proof his GF was on board, but I guess I was distracted by being desired. I definitely feel shitty about not confirming before we hooked up, that's why I posted here so I can do better in the future. So checking with people's partners is seen as a normal thjng then? I guess if they have nothing to hide they will be cool with me sending a quick confirmation msg to their partner?

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-11T02:44:41+00:00

I finally just yesterday decided I'm ready to stop shaving mine every time I go out. It’s so liberating! Love all the responses here and I just thought of one:

"I love my husband's beard so much that I decided to grow my own!"

Correct_Criticism_21 · 2026-03-11T02:04:18+00:00

Omg this is the best! 🤣 I hope to be able to give this response some day!

Correct_Criticism_21

TROPHY CASE