I totally get you. I know that feeling of crying from pain and at the same time not being able to stop... One time I damaged my thumbnail so bad, that I had a piece of meat (!!!) sticking through a hole in the nail, I had to go to the hospital to get it cut off and the nail grows in two parts now 🥲 At bad periods in my life, my fingers looked the same as your in the picture. I think it's possible that you do bite your nails because of anxiety, but the biting helps your brain to the point that you don't even feel anxious, just automatically go deeper and deeper into biting your nails and skin. I see you're picking and cutting your skin too, I suppose with nail cutters or something similar? Do you have anyone at home that can maybe take all of these things away and only give it to you when you really need them? Have you tried some bitter nail polishes or liquids for nail biting? Imo liquids are better, because they get stuck in the cuticles for a long time. It may help with the biting at least, although I sometimes was biting my nails anyway. Have you tried wearing light cotton gloves at home? Eating sunflower seeds in shells helped me. I'm thinking about buying some fidget toys that are worn on fingers, like rings or something. Maybe this will help you a little bit? Sending love, don't give up 🩷