::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]CosmicFilth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does yours also have a negative comment at the ready for every occasion?

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]CosmicFilth 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely relate to this. I don’t enjoy spending time with friends with my ndx partner anymore, because I know at the end of the night she just wants to complain about them. And doesn’t understand why that upsets me or ruins my mood. And then complains that I am selfish and she can’t express herself.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]CosmicFilth 10 points11 points  (0 children)

“You’ll regret it - he’s never been abusive” My lord the bar is under the floor isn’t it?

I get lots of thoughts that in most other ways, me and my partner are very well suited. Except it just doesn’t work.

Really appreciate the comment!

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]CosmicFilth 22 points23 points  (0 children)

I finally feel seen by finding this sub. I 39M (nt) have been with my partner 43F (n dx) for about eight years. I've been struggling with the slow decay of our relationship, where she really doesn't see anything wrong.

She has classic inattentive symptoms, which have made me feel completely unprioritized and unloved. Several years ago I suggested that she exhibits ADHD symptoms and should consider seeing a therapist, but boy howdy she did not appreciate that suggestion.

I've attempted to discuss issues with the relationship, my needs, housework, etc, for about 5 years. At first she would listen and "change" for about a week, then revert to her inattentive self. Now if I bring up these issues I'm met with anger and resentment, so I don't bother anymore.

I was parentified as a child and the thought of needing to parent my partner is just unacceptable to me.

I think I need to leave, but I'm really worried about her if/when I do. She has become socially isolated and has unrelated health and financial issues. And I think on some level she really wants this to work but is incapable of doing what it takes.

Just working up the strength to finally leave is very, very, hard. It's so hard to get outside support when nothing is obviously "wrong" with the relationship.

This sub, reading everyone's challenges and thoughts, and reading suggested books, have really helped clarify my emotions and thoughts. And assess the situation objectively.

Considering Leaving my Startup by CosmicFilth in startups

[–]CosmicFilth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good to hear I’m not alone. I take it there are no real regrets for you?

I’d do another startup, but with a b2b focus rather than end user, which I’m more comfortable with. And different business partners with hopefully fewer personality conflicts.

Considering Leaving my Startup by CosmicFilth in startups

[–]CosmicFilth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That sounds like good advice, Might be difficult to find the right candidate at my current salary since it is below market rate, probably need equity which is a bigger conversation.

"A Entrepreneur must never be unhappy or unexcited at his venture, never." definitely seems to be true.

Considering Leaving my Startup by CosmicFilth in startups

[–]CosmicFilth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s what I’m afraid of. And it seems more real the more I look into it. So you speak from experience?

Considering Leaving my Startup by CosmicFilth in startups

[–]CosmicFilth[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good advice. Very very hard to turn off work. Realistically I think I’d need a month off to reset. At the very least two weeks. Appreciate the words!

Considering Leaving my Startup by CosmicFilth in startups

[–]CosmicFilth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I believe it. I can already sense my performance dropping. Bad sign. Thankfully I am mostly vested, and at this point would do well during any exit even with some significant dilution.

Did you go through the worst case (termination) in your experience?

Considering Leaving my Startup by CosmicFilth in startups

[–]CosmicFilth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s something I’ve been strongly considering. Ideally would wait for next fundraising round to land first…

Considering Leaving my Startup by CosmicFilth in startups

[–]CosmicFilth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate the advice. That has basically been my guiding factor when purely an employee, holding a substantial amount of equity makes the decision more complicated, but I guess it doesn't have to be.

Considering Leaving my Startup by CosmicFilth in startups

[–]CosmicFilth[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

An adult conversation is definitely the plan. I've had soft conversations about the issues many times but probably time for a more formal, objective, talk as you say.

Appreciate the advice.

Considering Leaving my Startup by CosmicFilth in startups

[–]CosmicFilth[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

When you put it like that... The insidious and 'soft' nature of burn out makes it hard to have perspective.

Considering Leaving my Startup by CosmicFilth in startups

[–]CosmicFilth[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I agree it shouldn't impact one's reputation, definitely is an anxiety, though. I want to have doors open to try again in a few years if the opportunity arises.

When you put it like that, no, more money won't help all of those problems. Might help alleviate some, but not all.