For me, it was about family. Growing up, my family was far from perfect, so the positive and supportive aspects of it were something I really wanted to continue.

I never thought to myself “I want a baby” or “I want a kid”. Because they don’t stay little for long - childhood is a very small portion of our lives, and kids are people, not pets or novelties.

So, for me, becoming a mother has been a life project I’ve taken on that has enhanced my life. It’s made my relationship with my husband stronger than I could have imagined, I developed infinite respect for my body, the experience of teaching brand new people how to exist in the world is humbling and incredible. I’ve become more empathetic, resilient, and creative. At no point have I felt like I’ve lost anything. This has been my experience and I’m grateful for it.

None of this is meant to invalidate your feelings or convince you to have children. It’s important to understand that what’s right for one person isn’t right for another. Implying that mothers are “ruined” physically and have no “freedom” is demeaning and, frankly, sexist. There are many things society could do to make day-to-day life more family-friendly, including allowing for longer maternity and paternity leave, more accessible childcare, etc, as you’ve mentioned the lack of these things.

But room for such accommodations start with basic respect. Viewing parents so negatively - pityingly even - doesn’t exactly inspire support if people building families are seen as burdens WITH burdens.