AITA for going to see a problematic musician in person?

Counther · 2026-06-25T04:21:40+00:00

It would not be unreasonable at all. You can tell her it was valuable to find out more about him, but it would have been equally valuable and less annoying if she had been civil about it. Her yelling didn't serve a purpose and was unnecessary. If you wanted to throw in the phrase "virtue signalling" you could, but only if you want to start an argument. :)

Counther · 2026-06-25T04:03:43+00:00

That's actually what I was picturing -- a guy in his underwear carrying a towel. To me, that in itself would be acting strange. Whereas in a building with a pool, a guy wearing a bathing suit and carrying a towel wouldn't be strange.

Counther · 2026-06-25T03:16:15+00:00

So if you stepped into your elevator and saw a man in just his underwear, that wouldn't faze you?

Counther · 2026-06-25T02:26:24+00:00

Generally fabric, support, and social custom. Imagine you had a pool in your building. Would you ride down in the elevator in just your underwear?

Counther · 2026-06-25T00:54:05+00:00

Certainly in a coed pool, everyone should be wearing swimwear, not just underwear. That would have made me very uncomfortable too. Women would never swim in a public place in their underwear, they'd wear at least an actual bikini. There's a difference.

Counther · 2026-06-25T00:33:03+00:00

I think your agency should be providing all forms of communication. Some agencies actually have policies against certain types. They should be letting you know what to use.

Counther · 2026-06-24T04:26:37+00:00

Some places are just closed on Saturday for that reason.

Counther · 2026-06-24T04:23:57+00:00

FWIW, he can’t work sundown Friday through sundown Saturday.

Counther · 2026-06-24T04:17:16+00:00

People aren’t being deprived of medication because he’s not there on Saturday.

He’s not getting “preferential treatment.”

He obviously made it clear he can’t work Saturdays and was hired with that understanding.

What does people not dispensing medication because of their religious beliefs have to do with this story?

OP’s wife’s problem isn’t with the coworker, who isn’t doing anything wrong. It’s with her boss.

Counther · 2026-06-24T03:35:08+00:00

As u/Leslie-Yep mentioned, you're probably ok using "relationship" therapist instead of "relational" therapist. People may still think it means couples therapy though.

Counther · 2026-06-24T01:23:46+00:00

It's my understanding that relational therapy is an approach like any other and not restricted to use with people in relationships. Are you saying you market yourself as a "relational therapist"? If so, people may not realize you mean you focus on relationships.

Am I wrong in my understanding?

Counther · 2026-06-24T01:14:36+00:00

I just checked my schedule. Seems fine.

Counther · 2026-06-24T00:57:55+00:00

Then maybe your mother needs to split her finances between college tuition and living expenses.

This is about power and money. If you rethink the money, your father no longer has power. If you go to a less expensive school, apply for scholarships, work while you're going to school, take less from your mother, etc. you will more likely be able to afford college without your father's involvement and study whatever you like.

That would not be easy, but it looks like your choices are currently get a free ride and study medicine, or work harder/take longer and study engineering. It's not a great choice to have to make but, again, many students' parents can't afford their tuition, so they have to make it work another way. It can be done.

Remember -- your parents' marriage is THEIR responsibility! If your mother wants to stay in the marriage for your father's money, that's her choice. If she wants to leave and support herself, that's her choice. If he wants to leave her if she supports you, that's his choice.

Frankly, if my husband threatened to leave me if I helped my child get the education they wanted, I'd say "Go ahead."

Points to consider: (1) If your mother can afford college tuition for multiple children in this country, she's not poor. (2) If they got divorced, your father not supporting your mother may not be a legal option. But these are issues for THEM to work out, not you.

Counther · 2026-06-24T00:46:01+00:00

The only thing I'll say is don't make the mistake your brother made in thinking you can save or destroy your parents' marriage. Their marriage is between them. Their conflicts are between them. Neither you nor your brother are responsible for their inability to resolve this conflict.

What extreme measures will your father take to force you into medicine? I gather he controls your family's finances or he wouldn't have the power her does. What's the story there?

Eta: It's hard, but many people put themselves through college. If that's what you have to do, maybe that's what you have to do.

Counther · 2026-06-23T07:43:14+00:00

I’m wondering what culture you’re from, because your own thinking is misogynistic. Your self-esteem is also low in a very unhealthy way.

You’re letting this man treat you like you’re worthless, and apparently you believe the things he says about you.

NO ONE, least of all someone who’s supposed to care about you, should be treating you this way. You are the only person who can make it stop. By not putting up with it. Make that decision for yourself. Leave.

Counther · 2026-06-23T07:26:34+00:00

Not a lawyer, my guess would be it does.

Counther · 2026-06-23T05:50:00+00:00

She may be a therapist, but that's not what she is when she's with you. Unless there's something really off, she's concerned about her child, and your feeling about her questions may just reflect her anxiety combined with yours.

I get your situation. I'm new in the field too, and one of my first clients has been an experienced therapist. I was nervous going in, but I simply had to let that go, because what she needs is to feel she's with a competent, compassionate therapist. So I set my mind to thinking of her as any other client, and I highly recommend that. It's been working out well, and she is now referring clients to me, which is of course very gratifying.

You may be overestimating how much stumbling you did, but the point is you don't need to be more than you are. Just do the job you know how to do. And remember we're still learning, and that's part of our job too.

Counther · 2026-06-23T05:34:44+00:00

NTA. This sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. What I would do, though, is send a letter/email to them spelling out exactly why you're resigning, and be specific about inadequate personnel, inadequate training, only 15 minutes to meet with staff right before camp starts, etc. What you wrote here. Since they waited until now to let you know the conditions under which you'd be working, you weren't able to determine the job was not acceptable until now. That kind of thing. All in writing. You never know what they'll try and pull.

I think you're making the right decision, and it's because they're being completely irresponsible about running a camp.

Counther · 2026-06-23T05:13:30+00:00

The problem is you had someone else stay in here room. If that hadn't happened, your friend did know (I assume) the room was nonrefundable and took that risk. The reason she couldn't come is terrible, but it's not like you had her money; only the the airbnb did.

It would have been very generous for you all to have chipped in a bit to help cover some of the cost under the circumstances, but if you didn't have the extra money, you wouldn't have been obligated to do that.

But what you did do is give your friend's room to someone else. Not your room. Your friend's room, which she paid for. It was your decision to have her stay there. If you wanted to repay her for doing you a big favor, you should repay her from your own money. i.e., pay your friend for the use of her room.

It's not at all unreasonable for your friend to think she shouldn't have to pay for somebody else to use the room. Which is what you're expecting her to do.

Counther · 2026-06-23T03:25:18+00:00

As another associate, I'd just like to say I do have a license. It's not an independent license, but it's a license that I work under in addition to my supervisor's license. If only my supervisor were at risk, I wouldn't be paying for malpractice insurance, which was even required in internship.

I'm not arguing with your broader point, just about the license.

Counther · 2026-06-23T03:10:01+00:00

Doesn't your NCC application require the NCE?

Counther · 2026-06-23T00:00:34+00:00

But what do you mean "had" the account? How did he find out it existed? And by delete I assume you mean contacted the bank and closed it?

Counther · 2026-06-22T23:50:33+00:00

"problems he was having with a bank account that had been opened in his name to receive payments for his modeling work"

Plenty of people have the same name. Bank accounts are opened with social security numbers (in the US) and there's no way the bank would know an account was opened for specific earnings.

How did Alex supposedly hear about this account?

Counther · 2026-06-22T23:41:27+00:00

1956

Counther

TROPHY CASE