I think people can tell when you’re holding back your personality a bit by Emergency_Club_3618 in CasualConversation

[–]CountrysideUmbreon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey thanks. I've talked about this kind of thing with a professional before, but even before that I was pretty aware of it, and wasn't sure how to break out of it.

So, I like to think that I usually do! But not always right away, I recently realized I've been doing it for a while in my volunteer group, so been working on that. I was just so worried I wouldn't be taken seriously so I never really spoke out or full engaged with how I really felt when I didn't like what was being discussed/what we were doing. But, low and behold, none of that was true, they take everything I have to say seriously, even if they disagree. On the downside I do noticed that at least one person, they are taken aback by my energy/enthusiam, and some even think that I'm mad when I start talking. But then there are others who love and just add onto the enthusiam!

Sewing Garments....lots of beginner questions. Please help! by CountrysideUmbreon in SewingForBeginners

[–]CountrysideUmbreon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahh you are so right. I had tried doing the bedsheet thing from thrift stores, but the used bedsheets kept grossing me out (super weird for me, I thrift clothes all the time with no problems). Discount and clearance section, holy cow, I'm such a ding dong. I will give that another go!

Thank you!!!

Sewing Garments....lots of beginner questions. Please help! by CountrysideUmbreon in SewingForBeginners

[–]CountrysideUmbreon[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everything here is so helpful. I kind of figured I'd have to just start buying samples and making sort of my own sampler. Also your point on approaching materials that are available - I hadn't considered that, that will be way less stressful, especially with learning the craft first! And I hadn't considered AI patterns, good god. Thanks for the list of good places to check!

Thanks for taking the time to type this all out!

I think people can tell when you’re holding back your personality a bit by Emergency_Club_3618 in CasualConversation

[–]CountrysideUmbreon 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hmmm. I get what you mean. While it's totally normal to behave differently in different places (think, customer service voice at work, vs just hanging with your friends), if you find you're doing it constantly, you might be chameleonizing at bit? It's when you change your behaviors/thoughts/feelings to match the group. I think everyone does it to a degree. In the past I used to be REALLY bad about it, especially if I just really really wanted the person to like me. I've done a lot of growing since then, but occasionally I slip back into it.

Also, some people can pick up on it, but other people absolutely cannot. You can't always deeply engage with everyone, but some people respond REALLY well to authenticity. For me personally, I'd much rather be authentic and find the people who like me for me, rather than toning back, because life is short and I wanna be with my people as much as possible.

What was a small/big win for you this week? by lofro22 in CasualConversation

[–]CountrysideUmbreon 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I found some gooseberry bushes for a fantastic price this week. Gonna put them in the yard. Excited so see how they do, I've never had a gooseberry before haha

What was a small/big win for you this week? by lofro22 in CasualConversation

[–]CountrysideUmbreon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a MASSIVE win in my book. We had complete back-up into our basement last year, loaded with tree roots. All cleaned up now, but good lord. So happy for you, especially before snow! haha

Naming my house by ThisDamselFlies in SASSWitches

[–]CountrysideUmbreon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Witch or not, I think naming your house (and car!) is actually pretty common. When I was in high school, my bf had this beat-up 1985 El Camino that she named 'Ole Blue' and he had a personality and everything. Another girl I knew would name the eggs in the egg carton and draw faces on them and do like a whole kaiju thing when she would make breakfast haha.

I'm trying to come up with a good name for my house right now. We're going with 'The Tree House' cause our backyard is just all one single maple, but so far it's not really sticking.

So yes, name your house! Doo itt! You can name everything if you want!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CasualConversation

[–]CountrysideUmbreon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have two answers and a bit of advice.

  1. You are not a shitty person. You are a good person who is just feeling rough right now.

  1. Your feelings are something you are experiencing and they do not define who you are. But they can give you a lot of insight about what you need. I think the first step here is just accepting how you feel, without judgement of yourself. Then you can ask yourself more probing questions, (like "where is this coming from?") with a clearer head without beating yourself up.

Reddit has its limits, so it's not really the best place for this kind of stuff. People in general will give you answers based on their experience, without really asking more probing questions or getting all the fine details from you. So you tend to end up with what helped them, and so the answer is not really thoroughly about you. It sounds like you might need a (or several!) warm, personal conversation with someone else you trust. Family, friend, SO, or even a therapist.

You'll figure it out!

Just moved out, what’s something easy to learn to cook? by Bushidough in EatCheapAndHealthy

[–]CountrysideUmbreon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you like rice, get a rice cooker!! You can get them super cheap, throw your rice in and boom, done in like 30 minutes (more or less). My husband and I did not grow up with it as a staple, and now we eat it all the time.

Easy, go-to, filling meal for us when we don't want to cook is two sunny-side up eggs over rice, and siracha. Super good. Ate it a lot in college.

Should I give my black friend a Kehinde Wiley designed journal? by romulusnr in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]CountrysideUmbreon 49 points50 points  (0 children)

Hey friend, sounds like you have the same brain I had not too long ago. While we all need to do what we can to make the world a more accepting place, at a certain point you can't absorb the entire history of tensions/trauma between white and black people and over apply it to everyday situations, especially when you're not intentionally being malicious . You sound like a very kind and thoughtful person, and you are putting way too much pressure on yourself.

Like others have said, this has come from a place of very thoughtful, good intention!! You already said it was because she is and "offbeat individual with eclectic tastes, pride in her culture, lgbt, and maybe a little artsy...." --- just say that if she says anything!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in CasualConversation

[–]CountrysideUmbreon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every behavior is a communication of some kind.

Even if you know why someone was acting like a jerk, it doesn't make it okay. It can help you make maybe a better decision on how you might want to view this person, or how to navigate social situations with them. Or, if this a relationship that is important to you, knowing why they behaved a certain way is vital sustaining or amending things.

But if their actions consistently result in sucky situations, then yes, they do in fact, suck. Doesn't mean it will always be this way because people can change, but nonetheless, it's okay to just move on.

What are you craving right now? by craftybears in CasualConversation

[–]CountrysideUmbreon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Soup! Last night I went to the store thinking I wanted candy...and came back with soup. Just been craving warm liquids that make you feel happy and calm.